(I have brought my car in for a service. I am told when booking that if I come in an hour before opening, my car will be ready by 12:00 pm for me to go to work. It is 11:45 and the receptionist comes up to me.)

Receptionist: “They’re just doing our free, complimentary health check. You should get your car back by 1:30.”

Me: “What? No, that isn’t what was agreed. And I specifically asked to be opted out of the health check when I booked.”

Receptionist: “You can’t opt out of the free, complimentary health check.”

Me: “Yes. I can. The email confirmation actually states it.”

(I pull up the email on my phone and she reads it. She excuses herself and runs through a staff-only door. I hear a lot of shouting and then two men in coveralls storm up to me.)

Mechanic: “You can’t opt out of the health check!”

Me: “Yes, I can. My email says so.”

Mechanic: “I don’t f****** care. You will get your car back when I’m finished, and you had better show me the proper respect or it will take longer.”

Me: “Sorry, but aren’t you meant to be servicing my car?”

Mechanic: “YES!”

Me: “Why would it need a health check, then? Isn’t the service the health check?”

(He stares at me, stumped, for a few seconds.)

Me: “Exactly. It was agreed that my car would be ready by 12:00 pm. I expect it to be ready by 12:00 pm. Is that understood?”

(He blushes and then storms back through the door. I’m finally given my keys at 12:30, with apologies from the manager.)

Manager: “I hope this hasn’t damaged your trust in us.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid it has.”

(I get an email on my phone and I quickly open it. A video plays instantly of an inspection the mechanic has done. It is playing quite loudly, with him screaming at me for being stupid and gay for owning “a pathetic piece of s*** car.” The manager is going pale as the video plays on. It finally ends with the mechanic lowering my car a little rougher than he should and him saying, “Oops, that sounds like your suspension.”)

Me: “You know what, I’m not sorry. I’ll be taking my ‘pathetic piece of s*** car’ and never coming back!”

(As I walked out, I heard the mechanic through the door exclaiming in shock that I was still there. I got a letter a couple of weeks later apologising for unacceptable behaviour and damage intentionally done to my car, with assurances that the mechanic was appropriately handled. I was also offered several free services as compensation. I would have considered using them, but I heard from a friend who also uses said garage that the mechanic is still there and is just as unappealing as ever.)

As part of child awareness week, we are all given shifts doing collections outside of the store for a well-known children’s charity. As someone who knows how invasive some charity workers can be, I stick to just asking people if they want to donate. I am about an hour into my shift when I have an older couple approach the store.

Me: “Hey there! Would you like to make a donation to the [Charity] today?”

The couple blanks me and walks past me a couple of metres. The woman comes straight back to me and taps me on the shoulder.

Woman: “Excuse me! You do realise that what you just said to me is illegal!?”

Me: *surprised* “Pardon me?”

Woman: “What you just said. It is illegal to ask someone to donate to a charity and I could sue you!”

I am a little taken aback that this woman is threatening legal action, so I just respond honestly.

Me: “I’m sorry, but I am working for a charity. I wasn’t invasive or aggressive in asking.”

Woman: “Oh, I know, but I could sue you for it!”

The woman then wandered off into the store, trailing by her husband, happily gloating that she could sue me. Slightly panicked, I checked with my manager, who cleared up that as long as I did not shake the collection tin or be aggressive, I was completely fine. About ten minutes later, the woman came back out alone and threw a handful of change at me and stormed off. I can only guess her husband told her off and she went off in a huff!

Mum: “I need you kids to go into [Supermarket] and get some cinnamon.”

Me: “But you were just there.”

Mum: “I can’t go in twice.”

Me: “It’s a big shop; no one will notice.”

Mum: “Yes, they will.”

Me: “No, they won’t.”

Mum: “This one employee will; he made a bad joke, so I swore at him in French and ran away.”

Me: “Mum, you never learn from your mistakes, do you?”

I’m in my final year of high school. Partly because it’s an optional subject, there are only nine people in my chemistry class, and as a result, we’re quite a tight-knit class who get on well with the teacher. I’m sat between two friends, talking as we work.

Friend #1: “So, what are you both doing for Easter?”

Friend #2: “We might organise an Easter egg hunt for our cousins.”

Friend #1: “Ooh, that sounds fun. I wonder if I can convince my brother that we should do an Easter egg hunt. I haven’t done one for ages. How about you, [My Name]? Are you also going to do an Easter egg hunt?”

Me: “I don’t think I’ve ever done one, so probably not.”

There is silence as my friends stare at me.

Me: “What?”

Friend #1: “You’ve never done an Easter egg hunt?”

Me: “No?”

Friend #2: “But not even in primary school?”

Me: “Don’t think so.”

The teacher comes over to us.

Teacher: “Girls, I hope you’re talking about chemistry.”

Friend #1: “Miss, [My Name] has never done an Easter egg hunt before.”

Teacher: “Okay?”

Friend #1: “I really think this should be rectified.”

Teacher: “Do you want to do an Easter egg hunt, [My Name]?”

Me: “Uh. I mean, I wouldn’t say no to one but I don’t think my life has been worse off for it.”

Friend #2: “Miss, maybe [Friend #1] and I could set one up for her next lesson!”

Me: “What? Send me to hunt one egg? We could do that outside.”

Teacher: “All right, girls. Focus on your work. You can make plans later.”

We focus on our work and the topic is forgotten. Fast forward a few days to our next chemistry lesson.

Teacher: “Okay, everyone. We’re going to end the lesson a little early today. I’ll explain more later.”

We’re all curious but she won’t explain. We get our work done in the shorter timeframe and then put our books away, as requested.

Teacher: “All right. Now, I understand [My Name] has never done an Easter egg hunt. [Friends #1 and #2] feel strongly about this, so, in the spirit of Easter, I have hidden nine mini crème eggs around the room. You have until the bell rings to find them. Enjoy!”

We proceeded to spend the next ten minutes looking for the crème eggs, with a few lower school kids who had been sent in for bad behaviour even helping out. I asked my friends later but they said they had nothing to do with it. It’s been eleven years but I’m still a little touched that the teacher decided to do that for us, and I’ve never forgotten my first ever Easter egg hunt.

I support routers for a fairly well-known company. Usually, customers are quite pleasant and trust that we know our devices well enough to know what they can and can’t do. Some people, however:

Customer: “My router isn’t giving me Internet over its Wi-Fi!”

Me: “Right, let’s check the cable, shall we? Is the Internet cable in the internet port?”

Customer: “No, this one doesn’t have a cable; it’s receiving Internet wirelessly. Are you stupid?”

Me: *Pause* “Your model does not come with that functionality. Either you put a cable in there, or you installed another software on there that does allow for that. Are you sure there isn’t a cable nearby that was unplugged accidentally?”

Customer: “Clearly, you don’t know your own products. You’re useless. You can’t even help me, can you?”

Me: “Evidently not. Have a lovely day.”

I hung up, because I’m not forced to deal with people like that.

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 35
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 34
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 33