Childish Behavior, Part 3

, | Healthy | January 9, 2018

(I arrive for a dentist appointment to have some X-rays of my jaw. I am sitting in the waiting room for around 10 minutes when I am called through.)

Dentist: “Okay, sit yourself back down and we’ll take a look.”

(She starts feeling around my gum line. I’m not sure why, but just assume it has something to do with the X-ray.)

Dentist: “How does that feel?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Dentist: “Is it numbed up yet?”

Me: “No?”

Dentist: “Hmmm. We can’t give you any more anaesthetic today. We’ll give it another few minutes.”

Me: “Umm, you haven’t given me any anaesthetic.”

Dentist: *turns back to computer* “Are you [Name]?”

Me: “No, I’m [My Name].”

Dentist: “Oh, you’re my next appointment. Looks like [Assistant] called you in by mistake.”

(I was sent back out and the other patient is called in — a young girl, while I’m a 27-year-old man. I was honestly so shaken by how the dentist didn’t realise the difference that I left and forgot the appointment. I didn’t go back for another two years until the pain in my jaw reached unbearable, at which time most of the staff had been replaced (including my old dentist). I had to register again, but I was put with someone more competent. I got my X-rays and found out I have temporomandibular disorder. I was sent to my GP (which admittedly I should have gone to initially) and prescribed antidepressants to try and relax the muscles. I put myself through two years of additional pain because I was mistaken for a child.)

Childish Behavior, Part 2
Childish Behavior

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Greed Burns

, , , , | Right | January 9, 2018

(I am working in a popular supermarket’s call center’s canteen as a general assistant. One weekend, our general manager is working as the chef in the kitchen, and another general assistant is working, as well. I am busy deep-cleaning the vending machine in our canteen when I see a potential customer approach.)

Customer: “Will I be able to get myself a coffee?”

Me: “No, sorry. The machine is in the middle of a clean cycle.”

Customer: “Are you sure there is no way to for me to get one?”

Me: “Sure, in ten minutes.”

Customer: “Well, why does it need cleaning?”

(By this point, I’m through not treating her like she is stupid.)

Me: “Because this is full of harmful cleaning chemicals, and we wouldn’t want anyone with bits in their coffee.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(Then, she proceeds to walk towards the canteen and ducks under the shutter — which is half-closed, as we are not open yet — whilst the other general assistant is setting up down the bottom. I finish cleaning up and go down to the general manager.)

Me: “Seriously, she just tried to get a coffee when I was busy cleaning the machine. How stupid can people be?”

Manager: “I know, right?” *laughs*

(The weekend manager was really chill and would only laugh at stupid customers, like when another one burnt herself on her cup of soup after she filled it to the top in her greed, and spilled it.)

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If He’s Not Careful, His Career Will Be Ancient History

, , , , , | Learning | January 9, 2018

(We are in Ancient History, learning about Alexander the Great. My teacher is only a year or so qualified from an Oxbridge University, and is a stereotypical Oxbridge graduate: tweed jacket, glasses, and briefcase. He is very animated and passionate about his lessons and sometimes gets carried away in his excitement. Memorable moments are:)

Teacher: *teaching about the Siege of Tyre* “And there was a lot of man-on-man action– Wait, no!”

Teacher: *teaching about sacrificial animals* “And they were male goats, meaning, of course, they were very horny– Wait, what?”

Teacher: *teaching about a sea battle* “Because of that, the boats ran aground, and the soldiers were forced to die on the boat or swim, and the ones that died got very p***ed off– DON’T TELL ANYONE I SAID THAT!”

(Brilliant teacher. I’m doing Classical Civilisation A-Level because of his and my other Ancient History teacher’s passion for and excellence at teaching the subject. Unfortunately, he doesn’t teach me now, but every time I see him I remember these anecdotes.)

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They’re Terrible At Names

, , , , , | Working | January 8, 2018

(My first name is Jamie, which is my given name. People generally call me this, but I often run into issues with the older generations who think it is a nickname. A manager has recently joined the company and has been trying to send me a document via email.)

Manager: “I keep sending you the email. Are you sure you aren’t getting it?”

Me: “I’m certain. Have you been replying to the email I sent you?”

Manager: “No. I don’t think it’s professional doing that.”

Me: “You could copy the email address from it.”

Manager: “No, I’m not that tech savvy. Let me take it down again. ‘James–’”

Me: “Jamie.”

Manager: “Yes, James.”

Me: “No. My name is actually Jamie.”

Manager: “Jamie is a nickname. You must be called James.”

Me: “No, I’m telling you it’s Jamie.”

Manager: “I’ll check with IT.”

(He leaves for half an hour and returns.)

Manager: “They say they won’t change your email address.”

Me: “Why would they even do that?”

Manager: “Because you can’t use your nickname. It confuses people.”

Me: “It is not my nickname. It is my actual name.”

Manager: “They say you need to call them and confirm. I suggest you do it quickly; this email needs to be sent!”

(He left again and I didn’t call IT. I decided to come in with my birth certificate the day after. He refused to believe it and demanded to see the “real” certificate. At this, I just gave up. He continued to try sending emails to me, and moaned when I didn’t receive them. Thankfully he wasn’t actually my manager, being in a different department, and the documents he was sending weren’t important enough for me to fuss over. My actual manager, however, has a sense of humour and finds all of this hilarious, and refuses to do anything until the other manager calls me Jamie at least once. IT can add a James variant to my email, but as it is an addition and not a straight-up change, my manager has to approve it. I don’t think anything is going to change anytime soon.)

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Their Pie Is A Katy Perry Song

, , , | Right | January 8, 2018

(I am in a local restaurant for lunch. A man and woman at the table next to mine have just been given their meals, which are both some kind of meat pie with potatoes and veggies on the side. They call for the waitress.)

Male Customer: “Excuse me! Our food is almost cold.”

Waitress: “Really? The plates were very hot.”

Male Customer: “No, the plates are hot, but the pie is just barely warm.”

Waitress: “I’m sorry; I’ll go get you new meals.”

(A few minutes later:)

Waitress: “Here you are. I’m so sorry. I spoke to the chef and he said customers have complained the pie was too hot, so he lets it sit outside the oven for a bit before he serves it. This was fresh from the oven; I hope it’s all right for you.”

(They both began to eat and then both put their forks down.)

Male Customer: *to female customer* “This is way too hot; I’ll have to let it cool down.

Female Customer: “Mine is, too.”

(They both sat there for a good five minutes before they could eat their food. I saw the waitress watching them; she seemed to think it was quite amusing.)

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