Certifiably Bad Service

, , , , | Working | November 29, 2017

(My car insurance is due for renewal, and I’ve received a letter that tells me that not only will it be £200 more than last year, but they’ve taken the business coverage off, which I need occasionally to drive to meetings, etc, for work. I double-check last year’s documents, then call the renewals helpline. I get through to a customer service representative who confirms my details, then asks how she can help.)

Me: “I need to add business coverage back on, and I’m wondering why the premium has increased so much, particularly as I have an extra year of No Claims Bonus now.”

Representative: “I’m looking at your account now, sir, and you didn’t have business coverage last year; that’s why we haven’t quoted for it this year.”

Me: “Yes, I did. I’ve got last year’s policy documents in front of me. It’s on there.”

Representative: “No, your policy didn’t have that coverage last year.”

Me: “It did. I have the certificate here.”

Representative: “I can see your policy from last year, sir, and it’s not on there.”

Me: “Well, it is, because I have the certificate. Can you see the certificate?”

Representative: “I can see on my system that you didn’t have it.”

Me: “Can you look at the certificate, please? It’s definitely on there.”

Representative: “I don’t know what to tell you, sir; you didn’t have that coverage.”

Me: “So, you can’t see my current certificate on your system? The one that’s still valid until the fifth?”

Representative: “Sir, arguing with me isn’t going to help if it wasn’t on there.”

Me: “This is ridiculous. Do you want me to send you a picture of the certificate I have here?”

Representative: “That won’t be necessary; I can see it on my system.”

Me: “OH, MY GOD!”

Representative: “Oh, yes, I can see that it shows you had business coverage last year.”

Me: “I know.”

Representative: “That’s weird, because it’s not on the system.”

Me: “So, can you add it to my coverage for next year?”

Representative: “No. The underwriter doesn’t offer business insurance any more.”

Me: “OH, MY GOD!”

Representative: “Is there anything else I can help you with, sir?”

Me: “No, I guess I’ll go with the quote I got online that was half the price you were quoting, then.”

Representative: “Would it be okay if I put you through to an automated survey where you can rate your satisfaction with my service today, please?”

Me: “I don’t think you want to do that.”

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Unfiltered Story #101067

, | Unfiltered | November 29, 2017

My friend is sitting by the computer at his desk and I’m on my laptop on his bed. All of a sudden an advert starts playing. My friend is frantically trying to close it but didn’t manage to do so. At the end of the advert ends my friend gives me a confused look.

Friend: Even at the end of that I still have no clue what they were trying to sell…

Can’t Vouch(er) For Your Education

, , , , , | Right | November 28, 2017

(I’m waiting in line behind a customer being served. She presents two sale vouchers to the cashier.)

Cashier: “Are you certain you would like to use these? It will cost more if—”

Customer: “I’ve already done the counting and double-checked. I know exactly what it will cost me. You people don’t know how to do maths; you let the machines do it for you.”

(The customer then goes on a tirade about how she is an Oxford graduate and how the cashier is potentially the stupidest person on the planet. She then goes through each item she is buying, applying the discounts the vouchers offer. The cashier, all the while, stands with the straightest face I’ve ever seen. After the customer finishes, she shrugs her shoulders and applies the vouchers.)

Cashier: “£69.40, please.”

Customer: “What? No. You did it wrong. It’s supposed to be £45.90. Here; I’ll go through it again, and keep up this time. You—”

Cashier: “I think it would be kinder to everyone else waiting if I simply draw your attention to the disclaimer at the bottom of the vouchers.”

Customer: “I read the entire thing, front and back.”

Cashier: “Clearly, reading isn’t your strong point, because in order to put these vouchers through, I had to cancel the sale prices and put everything through at full price.”

Customer: “No, you’re wrong. You see, I’m an Oxford graduate, and—”

Cashier: “I graduated with a doctorate from Oxford three years ago, so your credentials mean absolutely nothing, as far as I’m concerned.”

Customer: “You lying b****! If you’re from Oxford, why are you working in a shop?”

Cashier: “That’s certainly none of your business, but if it gets you out of here sooner: my mum owns the store, and I’m helping out while she has surgery.”

(With nothing else to go on, the customer stands there for a few seconds before running out of the building.)

Cashier: “Miss, please don’t forget your vouchers!”

(She didn’t turn back.)

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Very Taxing Taxiing, Part 3

, , , , | Working | November 28, 2017

(I am a student at my local university, as well as a disabled person with a serious mental illness, as well as physical disabilities which put me in a wheelchair. Because of this, and the scarcity of local buses, the government pays towards me getting taxis to class. The taxi company knows that I am disabled. Today I go to get my taxi at 1:00 pm; I have to meet my support worker at 1:30, and my classes start at 2:00. It gets to ten minutes past with no sign of a taxi so I call the company.)

Me: “Hello, I booked a taxi for 1:00 pm and it’s not arrived.”

Company: “It’s on the way. It’ll be there soon.”

(Ten more minutes pass and no taxi, so I call again.)

Me: “Hello, I called before and my taxi still hasn’t arrived.”

Company: “It’s in [my area] now, so it won’t be long.”

Me: “Well, I’m meant to be there in ten minutes—” *they hang up on me part way through that sentence*

(At this point, I start hyperventilating and freaking out a bit. I’ve been on the side of the road in the cold for half an hour at this point, and my mental health problems mean I do not cope well with unexpected situations. I contact my support worker and tell them I will be late, and then speak to my carer to help me calm down a bit. Finally, at half-past, the taxi calls.)

Taxi: “Your taxi is here; I’m outside.”

Me: “Where are you?”

Taxi: “By the co-op. How do I get to you?”

Me: “I don’t know; I don’t know of a co-op around here. Just out of curiosity, what area are you in?”

Taxi: “I’m in [area around two miles away].”

Me: “I ordered it for [my area].”

Taxi: “Oh. I’ll be there in three minutes.”

(He hangs up and I wait. Finally he arrives, 40 minutes late. No apology. We get into the taxi and drive off. A few minutes later he turns to me.)

Taxi: “So, how do we get to the university?”

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Has No Other Option Left

, , , , , , , | Learning | November 28, 2017

(It is about halfway through the first term, and we have taken a few mini tests to prepare for our mock GCSEs after Christmas. One teacher really hates me, and goes out of her way to make my life a misery. I also have a swollen finger due to an infection.)

Teacher: “Silence from now, until all tests are taken in.”

Me: *raising my hand* “Miss, I can’t exactly write at the moment–”

Teacher: “Stop making excuses and write.”

Me: “But–”

Teacher: “NO! Say another word and you’ll be spending your lunch taking the test.”

(I then hold up my hand, which is wrapped in an ice pack, with a length of tissue paper that could cover my whole body holding the ice pack in place.)

Me: “I don’t think I can even hold a pen.”

Teacher: “Use your other hand.”

(Yes, she made me take the entire test with my left hand. And I could’ve turned around to use the computer behind me.)

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