Copyright Meets Copywrong

, , , | Right | March 18, 2010

(A teenage boy and girl come up to my till with a recently purchased CD.)

Teenage Boy: “I want to return this CD.”

Me: “Is there a problem?”

Teenage Boy: “No, I just didn’t like it.”

Me: “Well, I’m afraid I can’t give you a refund, but you can exchange it.”

Teenage Boy: “That’s not on. I want to see the manager.”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Teenage Boy: “I want my money back for this CD and he won’t give it to me.”

Manager: “I’m afraid we can’t give you a refund but you can exchange it for another CD.”

Teenage Girl: “He doesn’t want another CD. Why would we want another CD when he can just copy them?”

1 Thumbs
2,951

Signs That It Is Going To Be A Long Day/Week/Month

, | Right | March 18, 2010

Me: “How can I help?”

Caller: “I can’t work out how to use your booking calendar. It’s very complicated.”

Me: “Okay, so tell me if there’s any red text beneath the calendar?”

Caller: “Yes there is. It says ‘click a start date to begin’.”

Me: “Okay, so click the date you’d like your booking to start.”

Caller: “Okay, done that. Now what?”

Me: “Has the text changed to say ‘Please click an end date’?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “So click the date you’d like your booking to end.”

Caller: “Okay, I’ve got a price! That’s great, but isn’t that rather complicated?”

Me: “How do you mean?”

Caller: “Well, why doesn’t it know the dates I want already?”

1 Thumbs
2,439

Talking Turkey

, , , , | Right | March 17, 2010

(A customer rings the store on Christmas Eve to speak to the meat manager.)

Caller: “I’ve bought this turkey from you and there’s no meat on the breast. How am I supposed to feed everyone tomorrow?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, can I just ask you to check you haven’t put the bird in the oven upside down?”

Caller: “I know how to roast a bloody turkey!”

*sound of footsteps*

*sound of oven door opening*

*sound of oven door closing*

*sound of footsteps*

*sound of phone hanging up*

1 Thumbs
3,292

Saw The Wrong Dust

, , , , , | Right | March 16, 2010

Customer: “Is this movie one of those violent ones?”

(Customer shows me a copy of ‘Stardust’.)

Me: “No, sir, that’s a family fantasy movie.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I thought Sawdust was violent and gory?”

Me: “Sir, you’re thinking of the ‘Saw’ movies. You have a copy of ‘Stardust’, which is completely different.”

Customer: “I was looking for something really disturbing and violent.”

Me: “Well ‘Stardust’ has a scene with Robert De Niro in a dress doing the can-can.”

(Customer mulls this over for a few seconds.)

Customer: “I think you’d better show me where those ‘Saw’ movies are.”

1 Thumbs
3,223

The Art Of Browsing Without A Browser

, , , | Right | March 14, 2010

Me: “Hello, you’re through to [Broadband Company]. How can I help?”

Customer: “I’m a new customer and I’d like some help with setting up my router. I can’t get the broadband to work.”

Me: “Of course I can help you. If you want to start by turning your computer on, we’ll see what we can do.”

Customer: “What computer?”

Me: “Sir, you need a computer to access the internet with this router.”

Customer: “No one told me that.”

Me: “Sir, how do you expect to access the internet without a computer?”

Customer: “So you’re saying I have to buy a computer? That’s another expense!” *hangs up*

1 Thumbs
2,551