Love Is Blind To Only So Much

, , , , , | Romantic | March 4, 2021

My friend sets me up on a blind date with a friend of hers. She describes her as a good match for me so I agree to go.

On the date, the girl is distant. When she actually speaks, she is very disagreeable, announcing her opinion rather than making a discussion. We end the date with general pleasantries, and I pay and leave with no mention of going any further.

I don’t see my friend for a few days, but when I do, the first thing she wants to know is:

Friend: “How did it go?”

Me: “She seemed nice, but no spark.”

Friend: “Really? She was saying that she had an amazing time and hopes to see you again.”

Me: “She spent our whole date on her phone and wouldn’t make any conversation, at all.”

Friend: “She can be shy at times, but she really seemed to like you. She has struggled to find a guy she gets on with. Give her another chance.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m not sure.”

Friend: “Come on! She has even picked out a restaurant. I might have mentioned that you have been wanting to go to [Steakhouse] for ages.”

Me: “Well, that is true.”

Friend: “Great! I will tell her you’re free.”

I’m not sure if I agree because I want to go, because I want steak, or because my friend pushes me into it. But a week or so later, I meet the girl again at the steakhouse.

Again, she spends pretty much the whole date on her phone or eating in silence. I make conversation where I can and ask about her hobbies, holidays, and ambitions, but I get one- or two-word replies, and she doesn’t ask anything of me.

She only seems to smile when she drinks her champagne. 

Fed up, I eat my meal and go to the bar to order drinks.

Me: “Can I pay for my meal here?”

Bartender: “Sure, that one over there?”

Me: “Yeah, but can I just pay for my half?”

Bartender: “Bad date?”

Me: “You have no idea. I will let her know.”

Bartender: “Probably best if you let us handle it. She has been in here before. She often throws her drink at the guy; sometimes it’s still in the glass. Back door is that way.”

I thanked him and disappeared. My friend swore she didn’t know when she set me up. But I still haven’t been on a blind date since.

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Show (Me The Way To Go) Home

, , , , , | Working | March 3, 2021

My wife and I are thinking of moving home. We spot a new build area in a good location, so we arrange a viewing of the show home. We get the tour. The size is great, and the layout and garden are, too, but the kitchen and bathrooms are decorated in a really dark and unpleasant colour.

Normally, if you buy new, you can choose all of this as it isn’t fitted yet. But the sales rep starts to push the show home.

Sales Rep: “You know, this plot is available. As you can see, it is ready to move in.”

Me: “Not really for us, thanks.”

Sales Rep: “Are you sure? It would be a few months until the others are ready, plus you would have to go through the whole long process of picking out tiles.”

Wife: “Actually, we quite like that bit.”

Me: “Could we have a moment to look around again?”

Sales Rep: “Sure. I will head back to the office.”

We chat and look around, and we both agree we like the house but hate the kitchen and bathrooms. We would be happier to wait and get something that works for us. We head back to the sales rep.

Sales Rep: “Hi, you two. Good news! I spoke to my manager and he has cleared a discount on the show home. It’s [a few hundred off]. What do you think? Shall I put your names down for a deposit?”

Me: “We have talked and would like to wait for the new builds.”

Sales Rep: “Are you sure? We get a lot of interest in that show home. You don’t want to miss out.”

Wife: “We are sure.”

Sales Rep: “Well, okay, then. I will add you to the contact list when they become available.”

We ended up buying one of the new homes when they became available, but not before being contacted three more times about that show home. It dropped very little in value and was one of the last properties to sell on the lot.

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“Ongoing Pain And Discomfort” AKA [Coworker]

, , , , , | Working | March 3, 2021

I had a minor car accident earlier this year. Despite the relatively low speed, it has left me with ongoing pain and discomfort. Unfortunately, some people can’t see past the end of their nose and they make ignorant assumptions.

Coworker: “What’s that thing?”

Me: “A back support. It attaches to my chair and just makes it more comfortable.”

Coworker: “Why do you need that?”

Me: “Someone rear-ended my car a few months ago. Still a bit sore.”

Coworker: “Pff, a young guy like you? You should be fine; just take an aspirin if you have to.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s a bit beyond that now. I’m going to see someone to take a look at it.”

Coworker: “Back in my day, we would just get on with things, not go to a doctor for every scrape.”

Me: “It’s not a scrape; I was hit by a car.”

Coworker: *Sarcastically* “Oh, well, I am sorry. Go see your doctor friend.”

It did make me smile when he had to take nearly a week off for a cold a few weeks back. I asked him why he didn’t just take an aspirin. He sulked about that and ignored me for ages.

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“Help” Is Not The Word You Were Looking For

, , , , , | Working | March 3, 2021

I am shopping in a higher-end food and clothes store looking for a bit of a treat. I pick up on a guy acting odd. He is looking around and filling a carrier bag with stuff from the shelf. I try not to judge. Besides, there is a worker right by him; he even looks over briefly in his direction. 

The guy heads toward me in a hurried walk and then runs at me. He turns to look behind him and he slams into me.

The way he hits me, he goes flying and I barely move. Before I can react, he grabs his stuff and ran out the door.

Worker: “Are you okay, sir?”

Me: “Err, yeah. Are you going to do anything about the shoplifter.?”

Worker: “The what?”

Me: “The guy who ran into me. He was clearly stealing from here. Didn’t you see?”

Worker: “Why do you think he was stealing?”

Me: “He filled his bag full of things from the shelf and ran out the door. Did you need me to leave my details or something?”

Worker: “Hmm, why would we want that?”

Me: “You know what? It doesn’t matter.”

Worker: “Okay, great. Please let me know if I can help further.”

I know some places tell staff not to intervene, but to be so clueless about what is going on around you?

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Your Top And Bottom Priorities Are Reversed

, , , | Right | March 2, 2021

Customer: “Excuse me, I was in your [Location] branch and there was a pair of trousers.”

They describe the trousers.

Me: “Yes, I know the ones you’re looking for. What size do you need? I’ll fetch them for you.”

Customer: “No, I don’t need the trousers, but in [Location], they were right next to a really nice top.”

Me: “So, you’re looking for the top? Can you describe that to me?”

Customer: “Yes, it was next to the trousers I just described.”

Come on… How much can you really want a top that you can’t even describe?!

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