At work, I am the “young guy” to call when a printer doesn’t work. Nine times out of ten, one of the older guys is trying to print on the wrong size or it just needs resetting. However, as most of the team is part of an older generation, I quickly become the font of all knowledge for IT, even though I don’t know what I am doing 90% of the time.

I don’t mind; the guys are always appreciative, and they’re understanding when I can’t fix it and have to call the real IT guys. And I am learning lots from them.

This goes on fine until our office is merged. One of the workers who move to our office is a woman who is only in her late forties but treats all technology as alien. She will cuss and bang her keyboard and sarcastically state how “great all this modern technology is.” 

I admit, [Worker] gets under my skin from the word go; I am grateful that she works for another team and I can (try to) tune her out.

A few weeks in, I hear her talking with someone about some issue she has.

Worker: “Oh, is he our local IT guy? I didn’t know that.”

I know what is happening and, despite there being some sort of desperate hushed clarification attempted, I know [Worker] has decided that I am the go-to for all of her issues.

Nothing happens for a few more days, but then she attempts to summon me to her desk, a feat made more painful as she doesn’t bother to learn my name. Eventually, I give in and walk over.

Worker: “Listen, I am having an issue with this program. It’s not saving where I want it to. How do we fix that?”

Me: “Well, I’m no expert on these things, but I would suggest using ‘Save As,’ rather than saving on closing. That should give you control every time.”

Worker: “I have no idea what you are talking about; you will have to show me.”

Me: “Okay, I can do it this time. I don’t work for IT but I can point it out.”

I show her the big, named button. She seems unimpressed.

Worker: “Okay, I guess I will try that.”

She turns away from me and I gratefully leave her desk.

This happens on and off for the next few weeks. Each time, I repeat that I don’t work in IT or just give her the helpline number. I have taken to wearing headphones, as is allowed in our office. This seems to work until one day when I feel something whiz by my head. I jolt up, whipping my headphones off.

Worker: “Oh, good. You’re paying attention. I can’t get this to print.”

Me: “Did you just throw something at me?”

Worker: “It didn’t hit you. Now, come on, snap snap. I need this printed.”

I thought of all the things I could say and instead just walked out of the office. I kept waking to calm down. I must have been really out of it as I missed three calls from my boss. By the time I’d collected myself, I rang him back but couldn’t get hold of him. I reluctantly went back to my desk.

The office was largely empty, which was very, very odd. I checked I hadn’t missed a meeting. For the next hour, I was slightly paranoid that I should be somewhere else. I got a phone call from my boss; he wanted to see me in Human Resources.

It turns out that someone had complained about [Worker] throwing things at me; she’d made some pretty serious accusations about me when questioned. This meant several more of the team were brought in to confirm. When she was brought back the second time, she repeated her claims, this time going on and on about how, as “IT,” I wasn’t doing my job, I was lazy, I was unprofessional, etc. She even admitted knowing that I didn’t work for IT but thought I should do it anyway.

She was eventually removed from the office and stuck in some dingy below-ground office somewhere. I’ve never had to deal with her since.

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We have two older dogs. My boy has a bad leg and is a complete pushover. My girl is going blind, has a well-managed chronic pain condition, and knows she’s queen bee. We have two dog beds in front of the TV. One is snuggly and the other is firm for when too many blankets would make it difficult for one of them to get up. 

This evening, I am watching TV and my boy is in the snuggly bed, having earlier pulled his favourite blanket from the firm one and into the snuggly one, and my girl is in the firm one. She decides she wants some comfort and climbs into the snuggly bed, lying on top of his bad leg. He gets up and glares at her. 

Then, he goes deliberately into the kitchen to my dad. Dad assumes he wants out and opens the back door. My girl can’t resist a chance to go outside and immediately gets up and trots outside. My boy turns round and gets back in the bed she just vacated. 

Who says dogs don’t have good reasoning skills?

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In business, there seems to be an expectation of “I do my job without screwing up, so I want more money!” or “Pay me more and I will do more work.”

Actually, in most companies, you are being paid to do your job well already, and rewarding employees who can demonstrate that they are willing and capable of more responsibility makes more sense than throwing cash at someone in the hope that it will improve their performance.

As a manager, here are some of the conversations I have had.

Employee #1: “I am not getting paid as much as [Coworker].”

Me: “You refused to do the (free, one-hour) training. It was explained that if you didn’t do it, you wouldn’t get a pay rise. Will you do the training?”

Employee #1: “No. But I think I should get the pay rise.”

Me: “No.”

Another:

Employee #2: “I think I deserve more money; I have been here for [number] years.”

Me: *After getting the records* “You have the worst attendance record in the company and two written warnings for behaviour. It looks like you were told at the last pay review to improve, and only then would your pay be reviewed. It seems to have gotten worse!”

Employee #2: “Oh, yeah, I remember. So… can I have my pay reviewed?”

Me: “No.”

Another:

Employee #3: “I will leave if I don’t get an extra [number] thousand pounds.”

Me: “Look. I like you, so I will be honest with you; for that money, we could employ someone with twice your experience. But I can look into what we can get you. Have you seen that sort of money being advertised elsewhere?”

Employee #3: “No.”

Me: “So your plan to leave isn’t backed up with any sort of other job?”

Employee #3: “No.”

Me: “Or evidence that your job currently pays or is worth what you are asking?”

Employee #3: “No.”

Me: “Not exactly making it easy to fight your corner.”

I go away to argue with HR and my boss and pull together a plan to develop him and teach him valuable skills.

Me: “You will have to take on these extra responsibilities to progress in the company to get extra money. Interested?”

Employee #3: “Not really.”

If you are looking for more money, get a review set up with your boss, explain that you would like to progress, and ask to set up goals for you to achieve this. They should be realistic and measurable. If you are already taking on extra work, make a note of what you are doing and how often, remember that it is normal to take on extra reasonable duties in every role, and check your contract for what you should be doing.

Always focus on the positives while being clear that you expect this to grow into opportunities to do more and earn more.

I interview a guy down on his luck, out of work following a redundancy in a job that he took because he was made redundant in the job before that. He tells me that in every job he’s had since, he hasn’t had much luck; either the company loses work or has bad working conditions. He seems like a good guy and I hire him.

A few months in: 

Employee: “I think I deserve a pay rise.” 

Me: “You haven’t even gotten through your probation yet! We don’t discuss pay until the end of probation periods. You took the job aware of the offered pay; that is what it is until you prove you are worth more.”

The day before the probation review:

Employee: “You said we can talk about pay now.”

Me: “At the probation review. You have the invite already. It’s for tomorrow!”

At the review:

Employee: “About my pay…”

Me: “Fine. We normally do this at the end of the review. But go on about your pay.”

Employee: “I have been working very hard and I have seen other jobs paying a lot more.”

Me: “I am pretty happy with your work, but I have noticed some improvements I was going to plan in before I am totally happy. I know pay has been on your mind, so what I want you to do is take this list of actions, work on them, and come back to me once I can see improvement. In the meantime, send me these jobs that you think are the same as yours but pay more.”

Employee: “Thank you, thank you.”

A few more weeks passed, I checked on his progress, and he seemed to be slowly getting better. He sent me the jobs that he thought showed that the job is underpaid.

One was basically my job, not his, one was the same job but was a night shift role, so more money, and the last was for the market leader everyone wanted to work for and on the other side of the country. 

None of them were relevant to what he was doing now, and all of them were more money than even I made. 

I talked him through all of this and his attitude changed. For the next few months, his performance was way below what was needed, even after some one-to-one support, and we had no choice but to let him go.

I don’t know who takes a job for a good rate of pay and then immediately expects loads more money and sulks when they don’t get it.

I work in the renewals and billing department of a large UK energy company. In November 2018, said company made it so that certain tariffs and deals are ONLY available online. We did not have access to them other than the names. At least three times a day after this, this conversation occurs.

Customer: “I would like a quote on this deal I have been recommended.”

Me: “I’m sorry for this, but unfortunately, that deal is an online exclusive. We do not have access to it.”

Customer: “But I don’t have a computer.”

Me: “We don’t have access to that deal; I can give you basic information on it but I cannot put you on it.”

Customer: “Well, get me someone who can.”

Me: “The deal you are looking for is an online exclusive; none of us over the phone have access to it.”

Customer: “Stop repeating yourself! I don’t have a computer! I am elderly and I cannot believe you are discriminating against me like this!” *Violent sobbing*

Me: “Unfortunately, we cannot do this deal over the phone. I can go through the ones I have but they may not be at the same price point. But if it is this deal you want, it needs to be done online. Do you have any family members or friends who can help?”

Customer: “I do not have a computer! No one I know has a computer! Just put me on the deal!”

I banged my head on the desk repeatedly.

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