Free Lager For Free Labor

, , , | Right | November 20, 2013

(I’ve just fixed a customer’s laptop which had an issue outputting to a monitor. I decide not to charge him, as the problem is minor and the fix didn’t take very long.)

Customer: “Thanks a lot for that. I appreciate it. Wait here a sec.”

(The customer leaves the store and I continue serving customers. Half an hour later, he returns.)

Customer: “Here you go, mate. Hope you drink lager!”

(He puts a case of beer down on my counter and begins walking out.)

Me: “Whaa… are you serious? What’s this for?”

Customer: “For fixing my laptop!”

Me: “I… I really appreciate it, but you didn’t need to—”

Customer: “You fixed my problem quickly and with a smile. I’m not the best with technology but you were very patient with me, which is more than I can say about the staff over at [Competitor]. So enjoy that, and I’ll definitely be shopping here again!”

(That guy made my shift!)

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Good People Are Not Dime A Dozen

, , , , , | Right | June 13, 2013

(I work in my university’s campus shop. I arrive for my shift to find the site in lockdown. There are security guys and people in ‘hi-vis’ jackets everywhere. They check my ID, and let me through, so I think nothing of it. Later that afternoon, one of the ‘hi-vis’ jacketed guys comes to my till with a drink and bar of chocolate. He looks stressed.)

Customer: “Hey, how much for this?”

Me: “£1.10”

(The customer starts rummaging in his pocket.)

Customer: “Oh for f***’s sake; I’ve gone and left my f****** wallet in the truck. I’ve been here since four am, and this is the only break I’ll get! I’ve only got a £1 coin. Leave the chocolate; I’ll just have the drink.”

Me: “Nah, no worries; I’ll spot you the 10p. People leave their change behind all the time.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yeah, positive. You look like you could use it. I hope your day gets a bit better!”

Customer: “Thanks, love! You put a smile back on my face. Bless you!”

(A couple of hours later, the same guy comes back in just as I’m closing up.)

Customer: “Are you closing?”

Me: “Yes, sorry, the till’s already been shut down.”

Customer: “Excellent! If you’ve got 10 minutes, go sit on the wall outside there, and keep quiet, okay?”

(Intrigued, I go sit where he asks, which is just outside the doors of the building. A dark SUV pulls up, and security guards materialise from nowhere and start moving people away. They try to move me on, but the customer tells them that I’m with him, and they leave us be. The next person to come out of the doors is Leonardo DiCaprio, who then gets into the SUV. My mouth drops in shock.)

Customer: “10p for the front-row seat. Can’t say fairer than that, can you?”

(Some months later, I recognise one of my university’s lecture halls in the movie ‘Inception’!)

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We Love (To Pay) To See You Smile

, , , | Working | May 17, 2013

Me: “Thanks, lovey! Have an awesome day!”

Customer: “Excuse me for being so forward, but are you happy here?”

Me: “I suppose so, although doing the same thing for five years gets a little tedious! Why do you ask, if I may?”

Customer: “Well, I’m a manager at [Popular Coffee Chain] and they’re opening a new store in the area, and I’d love to have you come and join my team!”

Me: “Woah, really?! You’re offering me a job? Why?!”

Customer: “Your customer service is absolutely outstanding! Every time I’ve been through here you’ve always had a smile on your face and you’re always so happy to see us! You’re just the sort of person we’re looking for! I got really worried when you went on holiday, I thought you’d left! I’m sure your colleagues will tell you I’ve been asking after you!”

Me: “Haha, so you’re the lady that was looking for me? I thought I’d done something wrong! Wow! This is amazing! I’d love to come and work with you! Where should I apply?”

Customer: “Oh, don’t bother with that; the job’s yours! How much notice do you need before you can leave here?”

Me: “About a week, I think.”

Customer: “Right. I’d go and hand your notice in now and next week we can start your training!”

Me: “Oh, my gosh! Thank you so much!”

(I immediately handed my notice in and have now been working for the coffee chain for about two weeks. It just goes to show that good customer service and a smile can really pay off!)

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The Klass Of 2015

, , , , | Learning | March 12, 2013

(I’m working clearing, which is when we take in calls about students who are in their last ditch effort to get into the university.)

Me: “Okay, that’s fine. I’m going to process your application now. Can I please take your first name?”

Student: “Yes. It’s…” *unintelligible speech*

Me: “Can you please spell that for me?”

Student: “Ugh, if I have to. It’s K…” *unintelligible*

Me: “Okay, can you repeat that for me? It starts with K?”

Student: “Yeah, you know. K as in Chicken.”

Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 2

, , , , , | Leicester, England, UK | Right | January 31, 2013

(I’m standing in a fairly short queue when a businessman walks in, pushes straight to the front, and starts dictating his order to the 20-something-year-old cashier.)

Cashier: “I’m afraid you’re going to have to go to the back of the queue, sir.”

Business man: “I have an important meeting shortly. You must serve me now!”

Cashier: “Yeah, the longer you stand there, the later you’re going to be. Back of the queue.”

Business man: “Do you have any idea who I am?”

Cashier: “Nope. Now shut up and go to the back of the queue.”

Business man: “How dare you talk to me like that?! Get me your manager now!”

(The cashier sighs heavily, walks into the back, comes out with an older woman in tow and nods her towards the businessman, then disappears back into the back.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Business man: “That boy was incredibly rude to me! I demand you fire him immediately!”

Manager: “I’m afraid I don’t have the authority to do that, but if you want I can get the owner for you.”

Business man: “Bah! Fine, but I expect to be compensated for having to go through all of this trouble!”

Manager: “I’m sure you can discuss that with him, sir.”

(She then walks into the back, then comes out again with the now grinning cashier.)

Cashier: “Yo.”

Business man: “What’s the meaning of this? I said I wanted to talk to the owner!”

Cashier: “Like I said, yo.”

(The businessman silently gapes for a few seconds, then walks out, stammering threats about having his head and closing the shop down.)

Manager: “Why do you always have to involve me?”

Cashier: “I just love the look on their stupid little faces when they find out I own this joint.”

(The manager rolls her eyes and walks into back.)

Cashier: “I love this job. What can I get you?”

 

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