Making A Meal Out Of A Meal Deal

, , , , , | Friendly | October 22, 2017

(Overheard with no context at the library.)

Guy: “Absolutely nailing a meal deal? That’s how you know you had a really banging birthday.”

Unfiltered Story #97928

| Unfiltered | October 21, 2017

(Mr partner and I are about to move into a new flat. One of the stores that we will be buying a lot of new homeware from has a deal whereby if you load £24, £48 or £95 onto a gift card they will make it up to £25, £50 or £100 for you. I go into the shop to get us a £100 card for £95 and also to purchase some suitcases. I head over to the till with an unloaded gift card and a set of three matching suitcases nested inside one another.)

Me: “Hi, I just want to load £95 onto this card please and then use the card to pay for these three suitcases”

Cashier: “Wait, there’s three cases there.”

Me: “There is, I’ve just put them inside one another to make them easier to carry.”

Cashier: “Well, how do I know you’re not trying to steal them?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Cashier: “How do I know you aren’t trying to steal them, putting them one inside the other?”

Me: *thinking she’s joking* “Well, you know, sadly I have one too few hands not to”

Cashier: “You’re lucky I don’t call security you know. How do I know you aren’t trying to steel them?”

Me: *now pretty angry* “Well your first clue should have been the fact that I told you before you scanned anything and before I’d even passed them up to you that there were three there, which there are!”

Cashier: “Well, I can’t scan them all when they’re like that, can I?” *makes a huge show of opening the first two to scan the codes on the lit of those inside* “Right, £48.”

Me: “And I’d like to load £95 onto this gift card and pay with that please.”

Cashier: “Fine, £143.”

Me: “No, I’d like to pay for the gift card first and then use the gift card to pay for the suitcases.”

Cashier: “You can’t do that!”

Me: “Why not? We just want to take advantage of the £5 extra free.”

Cashier: “Well, it doesn’t work like that. How do I know you aren’t trying to scam us?”

Me: “Let me get this straight, you think I’m trying to scam you by taking advantage of an offer that you have advertised in every one of your stores and online, and that I’m trying to steal some suitcases that I told you I had three of right from the start? You know what, we’re done here. I’d like a manager please.

(At this point a manager come out and asks what is going on, the cashier explains the situation first and the manager turns to look at me, my three suitcases and processes the transaction as I’d asked in the first place and gives me an extra discount for the trouble. The cashier just stood there staring at me in disgust, almost as if I’d grown that third arm or something!)

Unfiltered Story #97926

| Unfiltered | October 21, 2017

(I work in the call centre for a bank. Whilst it isn’t particularly unusual for a customer to want to speak to a specific person it isn’t always possible. This particular customer wants to speak to someone he spoke to a few days ago, for the sake of argument let’s call him Dave.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [bank], you’re speaking to [my name], how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Put me through to Dave.”

Me: “Okay sir, I can see if we can get you through to Dave. Did you happen to get a surname at all?”

Customer: “No, just put me through to Dave!”

Me: “What I’ll need to do then sir is” *customer interrupts*

Customer: “What you’ll need to do is put me through to Dave. NOW! I spoke to him the other day. Stop wasting my time.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, before I can get you through to Dave I’ll need to take a few details and see if we can find out who exactly you spoke with. If I could just” *customer interrupts again”

Customer: “Are you f***ing kidding me? Are you f***ing think or deaf or something. Dave. DAVE. D-A-V-E. DAVE!”

Me: “Yes sir, I understand you spoke to Dave but we have a number of Daves working for us, we have a number of call centres and a number of different departments and so before I can do anything I would need to” *Again, the customer interrupts*

Customer: “I’ve told you what you need to do already, just put me through to Dave. Is it that difficult?”

Me: “At this point sir I’ve done all I can to help you. If you continue to interrupt me and refuse to give me any information I can help you no further. If however you’re willing to complete some security and provide me with some details I will do everything I can to get you through to Dave. If he’s working today I’ll try to find an extension number for him and if not I’ll send him an email and ask that he calls you as soon as he possibly can.”

Customer: “Right, since you’re refusing to help me, manager, NOW!

Me: “I can certainly find out if a manager is free for you sir, if you could just hold the line for” *Interrupts again for good measure*

Customer: “I said NOW, I don’t want to wait, put me through now.”

Me: “As I was explaining sir, I need to find an available manager. I also need to make you aware that a manager would also need some further details in order to get you through to Dave if that’s what you wish for them to do. If you’d like to hold the line for me whilst I” *Interrupts*

Customer: *practically screaming* “I’ve told you to put me through to Dave or” *I interrupt*

Me: “I’m sorry sir, I’m afraid I’m no longer able to service your call today. I will no longer tolerate being spoken to in the manner you’ve spoken to me today and am now disconnecting this call.” *Hangs up*

That Age-Old Competition

, , , , , , | Friendly | October 20, 2017

(This is my grandma’s story, in which she is a customer and another woman is trying to push into the queue.)

Woman: “Let me in front; I’m 72!”

Grandma: “Well, I’m 81, so get back in line!”

Your Leave Sheet Is Mud

, , , , , , | Working | October 20, 2017

(I overhear my boss on the phone. It is Monday.)

Boss: “Okay, thanks for letting me know. I’ll put it down on your leave sheet.”

(Pause.)

Boss: “Yes, it does have to go down as annual leave. See you on Wednesday.” *hangs up*

Me: “What was that about?”

Boss: “You know that [Coworker] has been at [Music Festival]?”

Me: “Yes.”

Boss: “Well, she booked today off and was going to come into work tomorrow, but when she and her friends sobered up this morning they realised that their car had sunk into the mud, so they won’t be able to set off before this evening at the earliest. I told her that tomorrow would be annual leave, and she asked if it had to be. It’s not sick leave and it’s not compassionate leave, so yes.”

Me: “And it’s rather difficult to be compassionate towards someone who voluntarily goes to stay in a muddy field…”