They’re Acting Bitter About The Sweet

, , , , , | Right | May 31, 2017

(I work for a high quality chocolatier in England. Our products are pricey due to the amount of cocoa we use, which is the most expensive ingredient. The shop is in central London so our clientele don’t tend to notice the prices. I’m at the till when I’m approached by a man who looks like every other client. He has a few reasonably priced items so I scan them through:)

Me: “That will be £35.50, please.”

Customer: “£35! For that!?”

Me: “Yes, sir, is that a problem?”

Customer: “But it’s just chocolate!”

Me: “You’re not wrong, sir, but prices for cocoa are very high and we use more in our products than any other chocolatier.”

Customer: “Surely you have discounts you could give me?”

Me: “I’m afraid not, sir. I can’t discount perfectly good products. You wouldn’t happen to work for the NHS or the police?”

Customer: “YES!”

Me: “Great! That entitles you to a 20% discount. Can I see your work pass?”

Customer: “Oh… I don’t have one… I thought you’d just believe me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t include a discount without a reason.”

Customer: “You can’t reject my sale! This store is so quiet. You need my business.”

Me: “Actually, sir—” *I bring up our sales tracker* “—we’re £200 over our budget today. It’s only quiet because it’s night time. And I’m not rejecting your sale; you’re rejecting our prices. Would you like me to help you find some cheaper alternatives?”

(He just grumbles and pays for his items, storming out past another customer who had been waiting patiently behind him.)

Customer #2: “Some people are just miserable, aren’t they?”

(I total their order up.)

Me: *to next guest* “That’ll be £15.”

Customer #2: *confused* “But the price says £30?”

Me: “I know, but you didn’t ask for a discount so I gave you my 50% off. Have a great day!”

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Advocating Alcoholic Desserts

, , , , , | Right | May 31, 2017

(I am buying drinks for Christmas with a friend. I pick up a bottle of Advocaat.)

Friend: “I’ve never had that. What’s it like?”

Me: “Pretty much just tastes like alcoholic custard.”

Customer: *laughing* “That’s brilliant! Does that mean I can put it on my dessert?”

Unfiltered Story #87833

, , | Unfiltered | May 31, 2017


We ran a free tea day last week ( we were basically sent 100 of these tea bags to give away ups of tea free and basically promote the brand) We also have a loyalty card where you get a stamp per drink you buy and when you get 9 stamps you get a free drink. So on this free tea day we had one of our regulars in ordering 2 teas. Told her they were free today etc. then after she came up to claim her stamps. Politely told her we weren’t giving stamps as the drinks were free. She was very putout; “oh well next time i’d rather pay for my drinks so I get my stamps.” You do the math.

I Swear You Said Something Different

, , | Learning | May 30, 2017

(One portion of our English Literature GCSE is creative writing. We are taking inspiration from a book we have read in class of a WWII veteran. Several students have asked if they are allowed to swear, to which our teacher addresses the entire class in saying we can include one. I spend a lot of time on mine and focus on WWII life in the trenches, taking further inspiration from family members who experienced it first hand and passed the horrors on. I also include my swear word. She returns our drafts and I have a note on mine saying to speak to her.)

Me: “Was there a problem with my story?”

Teacher: “You included a swear word. That’s very inappropriate.”

Me: “You told us we could.”

Teacher: “Did you ask me?”

Me: “You told the entire class.”

Teacher: “But did you ask ME?”

Me: “Not specifically.”

Teacher: “Well, you can’t unless you ask me.”

Me: “Can I use a swear word in my coursework?”

Teacher: “No.”

Me: “Why not?”

Teacher: “Because it’s inappropriate. Are you even listening?”

(I was put in a one hour detention, the longest you could have before it being escalated further, and I was forced to rewrite the entire thing out again. She refused to let me just alter my original story. After I get it back I see another “See me” note.)

Me: “What’s wrong with this one?”

Teacher: “It’s clear you didn’t care about this one as much as the last; you won’t get as good a grade.”

Me: “Yeah, well, I now have other pieces of coursework to attend to.”

Teacher: “Which is why we give this out early. You should time keep better.”

Me: “You’re the one who’s making me rewrite it!”

Teacher: “Because it’s inappropriate!”

Me: “Well, you have a choice: use the better one, or the second one.”

Teacher: “I have to use the second one.”

Me: “Fine.”

(I stopped acknowledging her in lessons, and eventually she stopped bothering to call out my name on the register. I passed the course but I am still bitter about it, mostly because I later found out several students had used the c-word more than once and she praised them for realism. I used “piss” once and was punished.)

Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 7

, , , | Right | May 30, 2017

(At the car insurer I work for, sometimes the rate that we offer for renewal will be higher than our own price on a price comparison website. However, as long as all the details are the same we will match our own prices. That last sentence is key.)

Me: “Good Morning. Welcome to [Insurer], How can I help?”

Customer: “Hi, yes, I’ve received my renewal and gone onto that Meerkat site and the price you’re offering me there is less than half the price as the one on my renewal.”

Me: “I can certainly check that for you, and if you have used all of the exact same information I can match our own price.”

(I perform the usual security checks and get the reference numbers for both their current policy and quote.)

Me: “So, can you confirm for me that all the information you put into the quote is the exact same as on your renewal?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, so looking here I see that your occupation is different, your mileage is lower, your excess is different, and you haven’t included the accident you were in last year.”

Customer: “Oh, I didn’t think any of that was important… Do they affect the price?”


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