A Few Needling Problems

, | Healthy | October 27, 2017

(I have an appointment with the dentist.)

Dentist: “Okay, please sit down and we will get to it!”

(I sit down and she looks in my mouth. I see a syringe just out of my view.)

Me: “What’s the syringe for?”

Dentist: Don’t worry. It won’t hurt a bit, and then we can get to work.”

Me: “No, what is the syringe for?”

(She sticks her thumb in my mouth, feeling my gums. She lifts the syringe and I push hard against her.)

Dentist: “What’s wrong? We won’t be able to get that tooth out unless you’re numbed up!”

Me: “I’m not getting a tooth out!”

Dentist: *angry* “THEN WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR?!”

(I don’t answer and just leave the room. As I leave the building I see her running up to me.)

Dentist: “Oh, you’re my 11 am! I can do your whitening. I’ll just need to get set up.”

Me: “I’m not letting you near my mouth again!”

(I registered with another dentist that week.)

Not Thinking (About What’s) Inside The Box

, , , , , , | Right | October 26, 2017

(I work in a branch of a fried chicken chain. We do several different boxed burger meals, two of which are very similar. They are almost identical, the only difference being that [Box Meal #1] comes with a piece of chicken and [Box Meal #2] comes with two hot wings. Both are very popular and are ordered very regularly. One day, as I’m wiping tables in the dining area, a woman comes in with one of our boxed meals. She is clearly angry.)

Customer: “Excuse me! You got my order wrong!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry! What was wrong with it? I can fix that for you right away.”

Customer: “This happens every f****** time I come in here. There’s always something wrong. I had to walk back from home for over fifteen minutes!”

(The cursing doesn’t bother me, since around here every other word is a swear word whether the person’s angry or not.)

Me: “If you just tell me what the problem—”

Customer: “You didn’t give me my f****** chicken.”

(She shoves the box into my hands. I open it up to check. Everything that’s included in [Box Meal #1] appears to be in there.)

Me: “Was this a [Box Meal #1]?”

Customer: *crossing her arms* “Yes.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t see any problems with it. Everything’s in there. The burger, the chi—”

Customer: “Two. Two pieces of chicken.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I’m supposed to have two pieces of chicken.”

Me: “Oh, did you order an extra piece? I’m sorry, I—”

Customer: “No! I ordered a [Box Meal #1] and it comes with two pieces of chicken. Jesus, do you not know how to do your f****** job? Don’t they train you here? F***’s sake.”

(I now realise what she’s talking about.)

Me: “Are you sure you’re not thinking of [Box Meal #2]? That one comes with two hot wings.”

Customer: “Of course I’m f****** sure! I order this all the time! How can a [Restaurant] have staff that doesn’t even f****** know what food they serve.”

Me: “Actually, if you look at our menu board over there you’ll see that the [Box Meal #2] comes with two hot wings and [Box Meal #1] comes with just the one piece of chicken on the bone.”

(I point to our menu board as she squints at it, scrutinising every word. A look of embarrassment washes over her face as she realises her mistake. She turns back to me and smiles.)

Customer: *suddenly cheery* “Oh! I’m sorry. Thank you very much, love. Bye!”

(She turns and walks out of the restaurant as if nothing ever happened.)

Me: “What…?”

Shark Cage Diver Is A Job

, , , , , , | Learning | October 26, 2017

(I’m in a Spanish lesson. It may be important to note that my teacher has an Irish accent.)

Teacher: “Remember back when we studied jobs? Who can tell me what ‘abogado’ means?”

Student: “Shark?”

Teacher: “What? Jobs!”

Student: “Oh… I thought you said ‘jaws.’”

Teacher: *jokingly* “When I get older, I want to be a shark.”

Unfiltered Story #98577

| Unfiltered | October 26, 2017

Customer: I need a book on homosexuals?

Me: Fiction or non-fiction?

Customer: Probably non-fiction, although, I don’t really know. My son wants something to school his 8 year olds on how homosexuals evolved.

Me: Umm, I think you might mean homo sapiens?

Customer: What’s the difference?

Me: Homosexual is gay and lesbian, while homo sapiens is the human species.

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: Why don’t I pick something out and if he doesn’t think it’s right he can return in within 28 days?

I picked a book and she purchased it. A week later we got a call from her son thanking me for putting her right, as apparently every book store she had been in prior to mine had laughed her out of the door for confusing the two terms.

Taking Stock Of Harassment Claims

, , , , , , , | Working | October 25, 2017

(I work as a supervisor at a stationary store while at university. I’m doing stock checking with a recently-hired employee. I haven’t worked with him prior to today, but the store manager says he is good.)

Employee: “Finished!”

Me: *while counting* “That was quick. One second…”

Employee: “Why are you counting?”

Me: *glancing at his report* “Because we need to know how many– What is this?”

(The employee has written a very small list of items that are available in store, and put a number next to each.)

Employee: *proudly* “My stock check.”

Me: “There are forms that we need to use, and this is far too small of a list to be even a tenth of our inventory. What do these numbers mean?”

Employee: “How many we need?”

Me: “You’ve never done this before have you?”

Employee: *sounding hurt* “What makes you say that?”

Me: “We don’t have enough room for 20 executive desks. The one we have is just for display. And 17 boxes of staples? We’ve sold more than that this morning alone. I’ll take you through the procedure once I’ve finished with this aisle, and we can do the rest of the check together.”

Employee: “Okay.”

(The guy wanders off, and once I’m finished I can’t find him. I end up doing overtime to finish the stock check myself and make a note to mention it to the manager on my next shift. However, when I come in, I’m called into the manager’s office before I can do anything.)

Manager: “We have to let you go.”

Me: “What? On what grounds?”

Manager: “Bullying and sexual harassment.”


Manager: “Yes. It has come as a shock to me that you would take advantage of [Employee] like that.”

Me: “What are you talking about?”

Manager: “He says you belittled him so you could force yourself on him for the rest of your shift. He felt so threatened he fled the building.”

Me: “None of that is true. In fact…” *pulling out [Employee]’s “report”* “This is what [Employee] did with the stock check. He didn’t know what to do, so I said I would work on it with him.”

Manager: “So, this is an admission.”

Me: “What? No. Just look at the paper, please.”

Manager: “This isn’t his handwriting.”

Me: “Well, it certainly isn’t mine.”

Manager: “This doesn’t make any sense, but my decision is final. We’ll pay you for the week. I don’t want to see you anywhere near this store or [Employee] again. We might also report this to the police if [Employee] agrees. You should be ashamed. Now, get out!

(I was escorted from the building by a security guard with my hands secured behind my back, while my coworkers and the employee stared at me. The employee seemed to be loving every second. For the next week, I was a complete wreck with worry about potential police charges. By the end of the week, I could barely stand from stress. I then got a phone call from a senior manager in the company, the manager to my store manager, asking me to come to the store. I didn’t go, and got another call from someone in the HR department. They told me the senior manager called an audit on the store after the claims of sexual assault, and after an investigation, which included the CCTV I forgot about, asked the manager and his SON to leave the company. I was asked back, but I couldn’t even reach the car park without going into a panic. I post this because I am now a legal adviser for a restaurant chain, and have been called in due to claims of assault. I walk into the restaurant, and the guy recognises me instantly, and flees. Something tells me history was trying to repeat itself.)

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