I work in a factory. We were supposed to spend a little time in each department and then choose where to work. Instead, we are all dumped on the shop floor, mopping up spills, replacing the hundreds of time light bulbs, and rewiring plugs.

Four years of study for this? I feel conned and bored; this isn’t the job I accepted. I am going nowhere and barely sleeping, and I dread every Monday. 

I am complaining about it to another guy my age who’s in the same position.

Coworker: “I don’t know why you are complaining. It’s a job, isn’t it?”

Me: “Aren’t you bored? All we do is the same thing over and over.”

Coworker: “I don’t mind it.”

Me: “But this is a dead end. If we stay, this is all it is ever going to be.”

Coworker: “I’m going to try to get the team leader role.”

Me: “I mean, sure, but that is one vacancy and there are five people who have been here longer. Look, it just isn’t for me.”

Coworker: “Whatever. I would just keep your head down.”

I don’t. I apply for the first job I can in another department. My coworker calls me crazy. But before long, I am promoted and then promoted again. I leave the company for a more senior role and then am promoted again. Eventually, I end up working on some cutting-edge stuff for a great company.

I get a message from my former coworker.

Coworker: “Hey, how’re things? I heard you got made redundant and I thought I would let you know, your old job is open again. Shame you left; you could have been team leader now. I just took the role.”

I didn’t bother replying.

Related:
The Squeaky Wheel Gets A Promotion

About ten years ago, my mum got involved with one of the local parties, and when the local election rolled around she got involved in delivering their leaflets. Predictably, she got my step-sister and me to help. So, out we went, and as teenagers, we got bored and looked to cause some mischief.

We noticed another party had been round earlier and some of their leaflets were still stuck in the letterboxes along our route, so we came up with a competition to keep us entertained: who could grab the most of the other party’s leaflets out of the letterboxes? It kept us entertained until we finished our piles of leaflets and we headed home.

Of course, my mum saw us carrying the other leaflets and gave a lecture about democracy, blah, blah, blah.

A couple of days later at the victory party, my mum was talking to the local councillor and she told him this story. He laughed and said, “Your girls have a better idea of how democracy works than you do.”

I’m sitting alone at a table for two outside a busy cafe in the park, enjoying a coffee and cake. A woman with two young children in a double buggy comes up and buys drinks and sandwiches. There are no free tables. She comes up to me and points at the empty seat.

Woman: “Hi, can I sit here?”

Me: “Er, no, sorry.”

Hello, HEALTH CRISIS?!

Woman: “Oh, it’s just me. The kids are fine in the buggy.”

Me: “No. Sorry, but no. I’m not happy being that close.”

Woman: “Well, can you sit there and I have the table?”

She points at the counter where there are tall bar stools.

Me: “No. Sorry, but I’m staying at this table.”

Woman: “But it’s only you. I’ve got the kids; I need a table.”

Me: “Look, sorry, but no. Please leave me alone.”

She stomped over to the counter and glared at me as she drank her coffee. I finished my food, grabbed my crutches from where they were very obviously leaning against the back of my chair, hauled my awkward self up, and hobbled away.

She was red as a beetroot, staring down at her cup and refusing to look up.

I get a call from a retired gentleman who wishes to complain about new legislation on fees for second properties. I bring this up on Google so I can check it.

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid that the government has arranged this; the bank cannot do anything about it. You’d need to bring it to your MP’s attention.”

This unleashes some sort of demon.

Caller: “I want a complaint raised. You will fill it ad verbatim; you know what ad verbatim means, I hope!”

He complained about the legislation, and then, because I was using verbal cues like “aha,” “hmm,” “yeah,” etc., he decided to go off on me, practically reducing me to tears and calling me every name under the sun. Policy means I had to read the complaint back to him to confirm.

Not long after, one of the bigwigs for our site came over, explained that they’d looked at the complaint and listened to the call, and told me that the man had been sent a notice of account closing. This means that the bank had declared him not worth his custom — despite the amount he had in his accounts — and that they would be closing his accounts and he would need to find another service for his banking needs.

This is something very, very, rarely done, and is usually reserved for laundering accounts, so it was a big win.

This story is part of our Best Of May 2021 roundup!

Read the next Best Of May 2021 roundup story!

Read the Best Of May 2021 roundup!

I work as an employment advisor in the medical industry. In this profession, there is a lot of discrepancy in salary from person to person. Specialist training and performance awards can result in pay increases whilst still remaining on the same employment grade as another person.

Caller: “I just found out that my coworker is getting paid much more than me! I don’t think this is fair. Can you please tell me if I’m on the right salary?”

Me: “I can tell you what the normal salary progression for your grade and length of service would be. That won’t take into account any discretionary uplifts or specialist training, but you definitely shouldn’t be getting paid less than that so let’s start there.”

A few minutes later, I’ve done the calculations and advised the doctor that the minimum salary for her should be £[salary].

Me: “Can you tell me if that matches your current salary?”

Caller: “No.”

Me: “Okay, can you please tell me what the difference is?”

Caller: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Okay, can you please tell me what your basic salary is at the moment?”

Caller: “No! I just told you that I don’t know what I’m getting paid. I don’t see why you are making this so difficult.”

I take a beat. 

Me: “Okay, let me just summarise where I think we are right now. You have asked me to tell you if you are on the right pay. However, you don’t know what you are getting paid so we don’t actually have a way to confirm if you are or aren’t getting paid correctly.”

Caller: “…”

Me: “…”

Caller: “I don’t see what’s so hard about this.”