Don’t Let The Doors Hit You On Your Way Out

, , , , | Right | September 7, 2017

(A customer comes to the counter.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you know who wrote Light My Fire?”

Me: “Yeah, The Doors.”

Customer: “HA! Everyone thinks that, but The Doors covered it. I need to know who did it originally.”

Me: “Um, I’m pretty sure it was The Doors.”

(He’s so sure I doubt myself, so I go and get “The Best of The Doors” from the rack and check the writing credits.)

Me: “Um, yeah, there we go, that’s The Doors on the writing credit.”

(It turned out with some quizzing he thought the comedy version by British Novelty act Mike Flowers Pops, released in 1996, was the original.)

Unfiltered Story #93338

, , | Unfiltered | September 7, 2017

(I’m putting my items through the self-checkout and get an alert because I’m purchasing alcohol. Once I’ve finished I see a worker come over and expect her to verify my age, etc. However see proceeds to pick up my bag, turn it upside down and dump everything on the scale. I am using a bag for life from another store.)

Worker: “We just need to put your bag through.”

(She tries to scan the bag which is clearly from another store (this store uses a blue bag while mine is white and green, the text and overall aesthetic is completely different as well). As expected it doesn’t pick it up.)

Me: “It’s from [other store]. It won’t work.”

Worker: *ignoring me* “Why isn’t it scanning?”

(She tries over and over, refusing to listen to me until she screams out in frustration and rips the bag in half.)

Worker: “Now look what you did! You’re going to have to get another now!”

(She tries to get one of the store’s bags when a manager intercepts her. The manager apologises to me and offers me a free replacement (despite it not being from my store). She also approves my alcohol and lets me go. I ask for my torn bag back as well before I leave. The worker is screaming so loudly at the manager by this point that half the checkout has stopped moving to watch the spectacle. I leave and a week later decide to shop at [other store]. While I’m there I decide to get my torn bag replaced (there’s a free exchange offer for damaged bags for life.)

Me: “Could I replace this please?”

Other Worker: “Sure…” *while grabbing another bag* “It looks like someone tried to rip it open.”

Me: “Someone did.”

Other Worker: “Your kids?”

Me: “Ugh, no. Someone at [Store] thought it was one of theres’ and—”

Other Worker: “Was it a woman? Short, with curly black hair?”

(I nod.)

Other Worker: “She worked here last Christmas.”

(She hands me my new bag and start my shopping. As I’m leaving I hear people at the services counter talking about the woman and laughing hysterically. Looks like she’s gotten herself a reputation.)

Unfiltered Story #93334

, , | Unfiltered | September 7, 2017

(I live in a city in the UK notorious for only having one Internet/phone provider. This Internet provider will let other company’s use their lines but only if they pay them a very high line rental, which the other companies won’t do. I’ve been getting a lot of cold callers, trying to get me to change provider. I normally just hang up but this time I decided to see where it went.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hello, am I speaking to Mrs. Brown?”

Me: “I’m sorry; they’re not known at this number.”

Caller: “I am calling [my phone number].”

Me: “You are, but they’re not known at this number.”

Caller: “Are you the one responsible for the telephone bill?”

Me: “I am.”

Caller: “I am calling because I can offer you a great deal on your home telephone.”

Me: “No you can’t, mate. I’m in [city].”

Caller: “Oh, you’re in [city] right now?”

Me: “I am.”

Caller: “So you’re with [internet/phone provider]?”

Me: “Yup!”

Caller: “Oh, I’m sorry then. I can’t offer you a deal on your home phone.”

(They didn’t call back again and I hope the guy told his higher ups not to call anyone with our area code as they can’t sell to us.)

Unfiltered Story #93128

, | Unfiltered | September 7, 2017

Customer: Could you get me a manager please?

Me: Of course. Is there something wrong?

Customer: Yes, that woman *points at employee* just slapped me.

Me: Slapped you?

Customer: Yes, and it really hurts.

I call a manager and he takes her into his office for a nearly an hour. When they leave, he calls the employee over and fires her on the spot. She’s absolutely distraught and claims she hadn’t even seen the woman. Given how adamant the employee is, I decide to speak the manager.

Me: Maybe you could check the cameras? If she’s certain she hadn’t see the woman, that would definitely prove it.

Manager: I already checked them.

Me: So she did slap her? She lied?

Manager: No, the woman did though. She was in a bad mood after her daughter slapped her, and decided to blame it on [Employee].

Me: Then why did you fire [Employee]?

Manager: Because she slapped a customer.

Me: But you just said she didn’t.

He winks at me and taps his nose before escorting me, by the elbow, out of his office. I’m furious and tell the other staff. Half of us walk out, with a couple of us also handing in resignations.

I lost touch with what happened after that, but I was in the store today, and staff tell me the manager is no longer working there.

Unfiltered Story #92883

, , | Unfiltered | September 7, 2017

(A coworker has been asking me about my sexual orientation, as I’m quite camp. He identifies as pansexual, while I identify as bisexual. He asks me to clarify why I am bi. He interrupts me mid-sentence.)

Coworker: “Mate, that makes you pan.”

Me: “I don’t think so, nor do I really care.”

Coworker: “But you said you don’t care about gender.”

Me: “Right. It means nothing to me when it comes to sexuality, because you can’t know someone’s identity unless they tell you. If I find someone attractive, I find them attractive. Their gender has no bearing on that.”

Coworker: “But bisexuality is attraction to two genders.”

Me: “Well, that’s not how I understood it, but going with that, how would we know?”

Coworker: “Huh?”

Me: “How would we know their gender without asking them? And would that mean we immediately stop feeling attracted the second they say they don’t conform to the gender binary?”

Coworker: “Well, uh… It, it still means you’re pan.”

Me: “I don’t really care. I don’t feel the need to state that gender doesn’t affect my attraction to someone, so I’ll stick with bisexual.”

(This seemed to piss him off, and he stormed off, saying that someday I would accept what I really am. He was the first person I had ever met who identified as pan, and I didn’t really understand it much to begin with, other than this statement that you’re attracted to every gender. I see this as pointless for me, because I’ve always assumed that was a given when it came to bisexuality, and every other sexuality, for that matter. Sorry if I’ve offended anyone, though. I’m probably just ignorant.)

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