In the UK, most bars can only serve alcohol until 11:00 pm. This usually results in a surge when “Last Orders” are called, as customers try to cram in several rounds before they’re forced to go home. I’m ethnic Chinese and have just rung the bell for last orders when a sweaty young man forces his way to the bar, clicking his fingers at me.

Customer: “Oi, Charley Chan, I’ll have eight pints of [beer] and eight double [whisky]s.”

I ignore him and turn to another customer who was ahead.

Customer: “Oi, [ethnic slur], get me my f****** drinks!”

I continue serving other customers but nod my head at my manager, who also acts as a bouncer. This customer is now using various expletives interspersed with racially charged language.

Customer: “Hey, get me my drinks or I’ll f*** you up!”

Manager: *Leaning over the bar* “Listen, mate, you don’t speak to anybody that way, least of all my staff, so you’re going to get out and you’re never coming back. You’re barred forever.”

Customer: “Yeah, you going to throw me out? C’mon, make me! Make me?”

The customer was satisfyingly led out of the bar. I wish I could say it was the last time I was abused at that job, but it was great to know my manager and most of the regulars always had my back.

I’m a cleaner in a school and our morning shift is 5:00 to 7:45. It’s not too bad, as I live two houses away. [Cleaner #1] and I usually help out in other areas when we’re done. Normally, only one other area needs it and only in the afternoon. [Cleaner #1], on top of her own work, has to do the supervisor’s small bit as he’s really lazy.

[Cleaner #1] and I are taking out our many rubbish bags when the supervisor joins us. He’s got not even HALF of a bag of rubbish. It turns out he’s done a single toilet set. On the way back in, he’s b****ing about the area manager.

Supervisor: “Oh, yeah, I’m supposed to send you off to help out in other areas if it’s 7:40 am. But that’s ridiculous; you guys do too much already, so I’m not going to do that.”

We get inside. The majority of the coworkers are sat there together, and the only ones missing are those in the area that generates more mess. We are supposed to wait until everyone arrives, but the supervisor immediately tells us to leave. [Cleaner #1] and I usually wait, but [Cleaner #1] has to leave today. The supervisor complains that the others are taking too long but doesn’t head down to see if they’re okay. Instead, he heads down to his area. I decide to see if the others need help, and then they round the corner.

Me: “Sorry, guys. Normally, you’re all right in the mornings, so I didn’t think to head straight over there after taking the bins out.”

Cleaner #2: “You’re fine. You usually help.”

Cleaner #3: “At least you waited. Where is everyone?”

Me: “They left — places they needed to be. [Supervisor] has gone down that way.”

Cleaner #4: “Reckon he’s gone to make sure [Cleaner #1] has also done his workload?”

Cleaner #2: “Probably.”

We see he’s heading back.

Cleaner #3: “Hey, I thought people were supposed to wait and see if other areas need help when they’re finished?”

Supervisor: “Oh, I know. I told them that they needed to go help or at least wait, but they all had places to be, apparently! Not sure where [My Name] had to be; she only lives a minute away!”

Cleaner #4: “She’s here. Literally next to me.”

He clocks me and gets an “oh, crud” expression on his face.

Supervisor: “Oh. Oh, I mean [Cleaner #1]! She lives nearby, too, and you two are usually together!”

I give my fake retail-learnt smile. [Supervisor] leaves even though he’s supposed to wait until the rest of us are gone.

Cleaner #2: “So, what actually happened?”

Me: “Oh, he’s supposed to tell us to help other areas if it’s 7:40, but that’s ridiculous because we work too hard so he’s not gonna. And he told them to leave. [Cleaner #1] was gonna stay, but her grandson is being dropped off at 8:00 so she had to get back.”

Cleaner #3: “Why didn’t he just say he told them to leave? He could have just pretended he hadn’t realised we needed help rather than try to throw them under the bus”

Cleaner #4: “Because he didn’t know [My Name] was still here. Just saw a group of female cleaners and didn’t think much more other than, ‘Hey, I can paint myself in a good light!'”

Cleaner #2: “He’s a d**k!”

Cleaner #3: “Not to be crass, but d**ks have a purpose and a use. He doesn’t.”

Many years ago, very tight, stretchy, satin trousers were fashionable. A lady comes in and wants to try on a size fourteen in very bright pink. Off she goes into the changing room. A few minutes later, she calls me in.

Customer: “These trousers are faulty! I’ve pulled the zip up to the top and the teeth have parted!”

It’s very obvious that she is nowhere near a size fourteen. We can’t budge the zip and have to get scissors to cut her out of them.

Customer: “I like them. Get me another fourteen and I’ll take them.”

Me: “Would you like to try the next size up?”

Customer: “No, these are faulty. I’m definitely a size fourteen.”

I sold her another pair of trousers that were far too tight, and off she went, happy as Larry.

A group of my coworkers and I are sitting around on our break, and the subject turns to running.

Coworker #1: “Oh, I wish I could go running.”

Awkward silence falls. We have been down this road with [Coworker #1] a few times on several different topics.

Coworker #1: “I think I would really get into it if I tried.”

Coworker #2: “Why not just do it, then? Give it a go.”

Coworker #1: “I don’t have any of the equipment.”

Coworker #3: “You know, when I started running, I just had normal trainers and any old clothes.”

Coworker #1: “Oh, but I don’t want to do it alone.” *Dramatic sigh* “I might be able to lose this weight if I did.”

Me: “I run after work; maybe you could come run with me.”

Coworker #1: “I would only slow you down.”

Me: “I don’t run fast, and I run a few times a week, some fast some… slower. We could do it. It would be fun.”

Coworker #1: “I don’t have time.”

Everyone apart from [Coworker #1] has kids. She is always first out the door and has no hobbies. I don’t bring this up. Instead, I just say:

Me: “Well, whenever you get time, let me know.”

Coworker #1: “Oh, yes. That would be great, because I really do want to.” *Sighs*

I stop in a petrol garage halfway through a long drive and pick up some food and an energy drink.

Cashier: “Oh, these are two for £1.50.”

Me: “Great, I’ll take two.”

I look back at the massive queue.

Me: “Can you scan that twice and I will pick up one on my way out?”

Cashier: “Sure.”

I pay for my things, grab a second bottle, and hold it up so the cashier can see that I remembered and go to leave. I get as far as the door.

Customer: “Hey, you stop.”

Me: “I already paid for this; you can ask the cashier if you are bothered.”

Customer: “I’m not letting you leave.”

Cashier: “Sir, sir, it’s fine; he’s already paid.”

Customer: *Ignoring her* “I don’t know what things have come to today. In my day, I— Hey! Where are you going?!

I duck under his arm.

Me: “I really don’t have time for this. I have a long drive.”

Cashier: “Sir, please leave him alone.”

Customer: “What?! What is going on? You need to—”

Cashier: “No, you need to leave other customers alone. I have told you twice now. Now join the queue or I will have to call the police.”

I got in my car and I could still hear the other customer ranting. I didn’t wait around for what happened next, but I hope the cashier put him in his place.