Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

We Just Make That List For Fun

, , , , | Working | August 13, 2021

We take turns being on call. I live the furthest away — twice what anyone else does — so I try to do only my fair share. I will cover holidays only when I really have to.

I get a call one weekend.

Coworker: “Is this [My Name]?”

Me: “Yes, who is this?”

Coworker: “It’s [Coworker] from work. Can you pop in? We’re having issues with [machine].”

Me: *Sighing* “It’s not my turn on call this week. You can find the rota with the phone number in the break room.”

Coworker: “Oh, okay. Thanks.”

A little annoyed, as this isn’t the first time they’ve just called me before checking the rota, I go back to my weekend. Unfortunately, it’s not long before I get another call.

Coworker: “It’s [Coworker] again. I can’t reach [Coworker #2]. Can you come in?”

Me: “Did you try [Coworker #3]? It states on the sheet who to call next.”

Coworker: “Can’t you just come in?”

Me: “No, we have a rota for a reason. Please call [Coworker #3].”

I message [Coworker #3] to let him know to expect a call. He messages back letting me know that it’s not a problem and he is nearby. Then, I get another phone call.

Coworker: “Yeah, [Coworker] again. [Coworker #3] isn’t answering. I’ve talked to my boss and he says you need to come in.”

Me: “You know what? I will sort this out.”

I called [Coworker #3] who had not received any other calls but said he would head to work now. I called [Coworker]’s boss and explained what was happening. I said that he doesn’t tell me what to do on my weekend and that he needed to tell his team to follow process.

On Monday, my boss pulled me aside as there had been a complaint, but when I explained, it was dismissed. My coworker kept ignoring the on-call list and eventually got removed from the plan and lost a bit of cash out of it, too.

If You Don’t Make Coffee, What Are You Doing Here?

, , , , | Working | August 12, 2021

I stop at a motorway service station and find the coffee shop. It’s early and I’m the only customer. I order and sit down to wait… and wait. It’s been a really long time, so I go back to the counter.

Me: “Sorry, but is my coffee ready yet?”

Cashier: “Oh, sorry. What did you order?”

Me: “It was [order].”

Cashier: “Oh, yes. Err… it should have been made. Did you not collect it already?”

Me: “Pretty sure I would remember if I did.”

Cashier: “Oh, yes, of course. Let me check.”

She disappears into the back and she seems to be gone for a long time.

Cashier: “Your drink was made, but no one collected it, so I’m afraid it was thrown away.”

Me: “No one called me, and I was sat just there. I’m literally the only person here.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but you do need to collect your orders.”

Me: “How am I supposed to, I mean, if I don’t know it’s ready? Just get your boss or someone, please.”

Cashier: “He won’t be here for another fifteen minutes.”

Me: “You know what? I’ll wait.”

I waited twenty minutes and the manager turned up. He was initially sceptical until he checked the rubbish. No cups were binned matching my order. Then, he was very apologetic and paid for my drink and a snack for me. He promised me that he would sort out whoever lied about the drink, and he said to mention his name the next time I was there to get another free coffee!

Get With The Program, Friendo!

, , , , , | Friendly | August 12, 2021

A friend of mine came up with this really cool business idea which he wants to share with me, so he comes over to tell me about it. I must confess, I am a bit reserved as I recently had an acquaintance pitch a pyramid scheme to me. 

Friend: “I have invented this game. It is really fun and everyone I’ve played it with has loved it, so I thought we could make it into an app! You’re a programmer, so you could program it, and I’ll take care of the marketing.”

He describes the game. It is something I’ve seen a lot of before, just with a few tweaks.

Me: “Well, I have a job, so it would take quite some time to design an app from scratch.”

Friend: “Well, I have the whole idea, so I’ve done most of the work already. You’d only need to program it.”

I realised he does not know anything about the time it can take to program something in order to make it user-friendly and efficient. But I want to try and not just shoot him down immediately as he’s a friend of mine.

Me: “What about graphics? Are you going to make it?”

Friend: “We’ll hire someone to make the pictures, and then you put them into the program.”

Me: “And you know about marketing?”

Friend: “Yeah, I know this guy who told me about it. He made his own company. Basically, you work extra for a year and then you start making money.”

Me: “And what do you expect we would earn from it?”

Friend: “Well, at first we wouldn’t earn much, but then we’d take some percentage each. I’ll take most, of course, since it is my idea. You could get like fifteen percent.”

Me: “So, you’ll pay the expenses, then? Do I get a salary?”

Friend: “We shouldn’t expect to get any income for a while, and I think it is fair to share the expenses since I don’t have any money.”

Me: “So I won’t get paid, I’ll do most of the work, and then get a lot less of the earnings?”

Friend: “No, I’ve already done most of the work; I have the idea.”

Me: “All right, do you want food? I was thinking of spaghetti bolognese with some basil on top.”

Friend: “Yeah, that’d be nice!”

Me: “Good, can you make it? I need a few extra portions for lunch boxes.”

Friend: “Really? We’re in your house. Shouldn’t you be making the food?”

Me: “You could help out; I already did most of the work, coming up with the idea! I’ll let you have a portion.”

Unfortunately, my friend did not take it very well. We’re fine now, though.

We’ll Pay You To Shut Up, But Only For Charity

, , , , , | Learning | August 12, 2021

We have been fundraising for charity. Many students take on a sponsored activity and get people to pay them. Some run and get paid per mile; others bake and sell cakes. [Student], the class voice box, decides to do a sponsored silence.

Everyone is surprised; [Student] cannot keep quiet even when saying nothing at all. But all day, she says nothing at all, not even on break.

The next day, everyone is talking about donations and collections. [Student] pipes up.

Student: “I raised £53!”

Me: “That’s really good.”

Student: “Yeah, I got my whole family to sponsor me, as well as people from school.”

Friend: “Well done.”

Student: “Yeah, I don’t know what I will spend the money on.”

Me: “You don’t get to keep the money. You realise that? It’s for charity.”

Student: “No! I did the sponsored silence; I raised the money.”

Friend: “Yeah, I don’t think you know what you’re talking about, [My Name].”

Me: “You guys know this is for charity, right? The whole day is for charity.”

Student: *Sarcastically* “Yeah, sure. Don’t forget you both owe me money for yesterday.”

I blew her off. I’m not paying when she was supposed to be donating it. Apparently, many others didn’t, either. [Student]’s mum ended up coming to the school to complain only to be told that she needed to give the money to the school. I don’t think that money ever made it to the charity.

A “Falling For You” Joke Would Be Too Easy

, , , , , , | Healthy | August 12, 2021

For obvious reasons, many of us in my country are being encouraged to do “staycations” this year rather than travelling abroad. As I plan day trips away with my husband and young daughter, I recall a summer, a number of years ago, where my ability to travel abroad was hindered, not by a global health crisis, but by personal injury.

At the time, I was in my early twenties, fresh out of university and living with my boyfriend. Northern Ireland was going through a heatwave, with temperatures in the high twenties or low thirties — high eighties, for our American friends. As a fair-skinned Irish girl, I was already struggling with the heat, but my struggle was made worse when, one Saturday morning, as I hurried downstairs wearing footwear not really suited to the purpose, I lost my balance, slipped, fell, and hurt my left leg. The pain was so bad that I ended up in the emergency department, where I was told that I’d broken my leg in three places. After a week in hospital, I came home with crutches, a cast that ran from my toes up past my knee, and a massive bruise to my pride!

A couple of weeks later, with the heatwave set to continue, I was pretty fed up. It was exhausting using crutches to move around and was worse in the oppressive July heat. My boyfriend was driving me home from an appointment and happened to mention how tired I looked. I confirmed that I WAS, in fact, exhausted, to which he gave no response, other than to nod. We pulled into our driveway.

Boyfriend: “Wait here!”

And then he leapt out of the car. He ran to the front door, unlocked and opened it, and then came back to the passenger side door, which he opened for me. As I struggled to work my way out of the car without bashing my cast — I’d learnt that the hard way — my boyfriend took my arm to guide me. With my casted leg off the ground, I reached in to grab my crutches, but my boyfriend stopped me. Before I could protest, he threw one arm behind my knees, and the other around my shoulders, and hoisted me up into his arms! I don’t like being lifted, even in normal circumstances, so I shrieked.

My boyfriend laughed.

Boyfriend: “[My Name], my darling! I’m going to carry you across the threshold!”

And he started for the door.

Me: *Laughing nervously* “Ahh… Okay, [Boyfriend], please just be careful that you don’t—”

Before the words “drop me” could leave my lips, he’d done just that! He must have lost his grip or whatever, but I slid out of his arms. As I was already stressed by the shock of being lifted suddenly, my body wasn’t exactly limp, and my right side smacked forcefully into the hard concrete driveway. I howled in pain and swore angrily at my boyfriend, who, looking sheepish, sank to his knees and started apologising profusely while trying to help me up. When it became apparent, however, that I was going nowhere, so intense was the pain, he disappeared into the house to phone for an ambulance.

The staff in the emergency department were surprised that I was back so soon — as was I! After a trip to X-ray, I was given the bad news: I’d shattered my right kneecap and broken my right wrist and elbow. I’d also injured my neck, which, thankfully, wasn’t broken but was quite badly sprained. After another week in hospital, I returned home — in a wheelchair this time — with casts now on my right knee and arm and a brace on my neck.

My boyfriend, probably as much motivated by guilt as concern for my well-being, spoiled me rotten for the next few painful months as I recovered. By the time I was back on my feet, summer was over and the heatwave had passed, giving way to cloudy, wet, and miserable weather. That summer changed me, and I no longer took good weather — or freedom to travel — for granted. My boyfriend changed, too, becoming less impulsive, and after several months of what he called “trying to make it up to me,” finally accepted that I’d forgiven him. He proposed to me the following spring, and we’ve been happily married ever since. But he thankfully never again offered to “carry me over the threshold”!