At This Rate They’ll Be Paying Double

, , , , , | Right | December 13, 2017

(I work in a hotel in the centre of the city. Sometimes we offer great discounts through the website on quiet days. But you have to prepay, and to change the dates, you have to pay the night’s rate. We have quite a few scammers, this one being the worst:)

Me: “Hello, [Hotel]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I booked a room for a week at your hotel, but I got the wrong dates. I wanted August, but I booked for July.”

Me: “All right. If you can give me the reference, I can look you up.” *he tells me* “So, to confirm, you want [date] to [date]?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “All right. We can change the booking, but you will have to pay the night’s rate.”

Caller: “Hum, not sure about that. How much would it be?”

Me: “£700.”

Caller: “What? How could you charge that much? The website said it’s £350 for the week, and now you want £700 more? You can’t steal money from people like that! I’m going to call your headquarters and tell them what thieves you are!”

Me: *thinking headquarters actually decide the prices* “I’m sorry you feel like this, sir. The quote you were given is an online price, and the discount is available on some dates only. August is very busy, so the rooms are charged full price. We would be willing to offer two complementary breakfast as goodwill, but that’s the best I can’t do.”

Caller: “I don’t care about your breakfast! I want the room at the price on the website, and you should give at least one night for free for the distress you’ve caused!”

Me: “Again, sir, I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. That’s not–“

Caller: “Whatever! You’re useless! I’ll take my business somewhere else! Just refund me!”

Me: “I can’t do that, sir. You chose a non-refundable rate, therefore–“

Caller: “What?! You never said that! That’s false advertising! I’m going to sue you!”

Me: “Actually, the conditions are very clear on the website. You receive a red warning, first when you book, and then when you check out. It clearly says that the booking is non-refundable.”

Caller: “I don’t read signs, and I didn’t even book through your stupid website, anyway.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but the discount you received can only be obtained online.”

Caller: “Are you calling me a liar? I want to speak to your manager now!”

Me: “Unfortunately, she went home for the night.” *that was at about 11:00 pm* “But if you leave your phone number, I’ll make sure she’ll call you in the morning.”

Caller: “It’s [number]. She had better call me, or I’ll sue you!” *hangs up*

Me: “Okay.”

(The next morning I explained what happened to my manager. She called the customer and told him the same thing. He then proceeded to call our headquarters, and again was told the same thing. As a last resort, he posted a bad review on Trip Advisor, where my manager politely told him to read the conditions before agreeing to anything.)

This Geography Will Go Down in History

, , , , | Learning | December 13, 2017

(My class is at the end of our first GCSE year, and we’re receiving the results from a test we took around a month ago. The grades in our school are set out in numbers. An 8 is around the same as an A, a 7 equals a B, etc.)

Teacher: “[Classmate #1], 5. [My Name], 6. [Classmate #2], 7.”

(The teacher pauses and turns to stare at the last student on his list, [Classmate #3.])

Teacher: “[Classmate #3], you got an 8, the highest mark in the class.”

Classmate #3: “Yes!” *leans over to high five his friends*

Teacher: “However…” *holds up the test* “You filled in a geography test, not a history one.”

(The entire class starts laughing while [Classmate #3] goes bright red.)

Teacher: “It’s an excellent score, but how did you not realise you were taking a test for the wrong subject?!”

(Classmate #3 still hasn’t lived it down.)

Not A Complete Transition

, , , , | Friendly | December 13, 2017

Not A Complete Transition

Outdoors, UK

(I’m walking my friend home after a night out.)

Friend: “Can we stop and talk, man-to-man?”

Me: “Sure. We’re both women, but sure.”

Friend: “That’s what I wanted to talk about.” *deep breath* “I’ve been feeling like this for a long time, and I’m pretty sure I’m trans. I’m so sorry.”

Me: “What do you have to be sorry about, other than that awful segue? Man-to-man… Well, man-to-woman, now.”

Friend: “What?”

Me: “Well, if you’re a man, it’s man-to-woman.”

Friend: “But, you’re supposed to come out to me now!”

Me: “Huh? You think I’m trans?”

Friend: “Just look at you. You’re dressed as a man!”

(I look down at myself.)

Me: “I don’t think a Frank N. Furter outfit screams, ‘I’m a trans man.’”

(He threw a fit then and there, and ended up getting the police called on us for disturbing the houses around us. I’ve tried to be there for him, and offered him lifts and a place to stay if anything happens, but he refuses to acknowledge me until I come out, too. I don’t know why he thinks I’m trans, as the only thing remotely cross-gender thing I do is dress up like Frank N. Furter a lot, and he’s the one who introduced me to Rocky Horror in the first place. For the time being, though, I’ve had to put our friendship on hold.)

You Have To Handle These Customers Caerphilly

, , , | Right | December 12, 2017

(I work at an American Style burger restaurant. This exchange happens when a lady sends her burger back to the kitchen, so my manager goes over to see what the problem is.)

Customer: “There was cheese on that burger. I can’t eat cheese; I’m allergic.”

Manager: “It does say on the menu that the burger contains cheese, madam.”

Customer: “It didn’t; I checked before I ordered.”

(At this point, my manager gets a menu and points out where it says “mozzarella” in the burger description.)

Customer: “Mozzarella? What’s that?”

Manager: *trying to keep a straight face* “That would be a cheese, madam.”

(She still got a replacement burger, complaining all the time about the wait to cook another one.)

Eavesdropping Really Blows

, , , , , | Related | December 12, 2017

Girl: “Can I have a lollipop?”

Me: “Have you had a shot today?”

Girl: “No.”

Me: “Then, I’m sorry; you can’t have one.”

Girl: “I’ll give you a blowjob for one.”

Me: *taken aback* “How old are you?”

Girl: “Seven.”

(I don’t know what to say, so I just turn my back and ignore her.)

Mother: “[Girl], stop bothering that man.”

Girl: “But I want a lollipop. You said, ‘Give a man a blowjob and he’ll do anything for you.’”

(I turn back around and the mother is blushing. She drags her daughter out of the office.)

Mother: “What have I told about eavesdropping on your aunt and me when we’re having coffee?!”

(She came in this morning to request copies of her family’s prescriptions, so she can switch to another doctor. I hope she wasn’t switching because of the incident.)