Her Hearing Is Going But Her Eyes Are Sharp As A Hawk’s

, , , , | Healthy | January 17, 2018

(I work in a local doctor’s surgery, running a clinic fixing hearing aids. I’m at home with my family when the doorbell rings. An elderly lady is standing outside.)

Elderly Lady: “Hello, are you the hearing aid lady?”

Me: “Yes…”

Elderly Lady: *hands me a small package* “The hospital posted me a new hearing aid mould, but I don’t know how to fit it. I didn’t want to wait for the clinic.”

Me: “How did you find me?”

Elderly Lady: “I saw you going home and I recognised you. Can you put my hearing aid together?”

Me: “Uh… sure.”

(I do it on the spot; it’s a ten-second job.)

Elderly Lady: “Thank you! Bye!”

Me: *speechless*

I Got 99 Problems, But My Age Ain’t One

, , , , , , | Healthy | January 17, 2018

(My mum had a stroke two weeks ago. As she was in the hospital at the time it was caught exceptionally quickly, and her doctors believe there will only be some short-term memory loss. I don’t believe there is any, for the reason I am about to tell you. I have dropped by to visit when there are several nurses and her doctor by her bed, arguing.)

Mum: “See? There’s my son. Ask him if you don’t believe me!”

Me: “What’s going on?”

Doctor: “We believe it might be a sign of memory loss. You mother is adamant that her grandmother is still alive.”

Me: “She is. She turns 100 next week. You met her last Friday before she was discharged.”

Doctor: *stutters* “I…I see… She also believes that money has been stolen from her purse; £100 pounds to be exact. Can you confirm that she had this money in her purse while staying here?”

Me: “Yes. It was for my great-grandmother’s birthday. She literally got it out of the ATM in the hospital’s atrium what, twenty minutes before she had her stroke?”

(My mum nods.)

Me: “In fact, that’s why I came around. She called me this morning to get a card.”

(I shook the bag in my hand and the doctor blushed furiously at the realisation that everything my mum said was accurate. All the nurses then backed away, seemingly suspicious of each other. They never found the money, or figured out who stole it, but my mum demanded to be immediately moved to another hospital, and the nurses managed to pool together £100 themselves as compensation. My mum refused to take it, though, as she saw it as an admission that they collectively stole it.)

Give Them An Inch And They’ll Take A Smile

, , , , , , | Right | January 16, 2018

(I work in a small pet store in London. I’m the manager, so I have a fair amount of discretion when it comes to keeping customers happy. A semi-regular comes in with a broken water bottle that she wants to return.)

Customer: “See here? It’s just snapped, and I only bought it recently. Here’s the receipt.”

Me: “That should be absolutely fine. I actually have some bottles coming in tomorrow and we can do a direct swap.”

(I look at the receipt and see that it’s from two months ago.)

Me: “Oh, I’m terribly sorry, but you bought this in May and our returns policy only extends to 30 days.”

Customer: *suddenly turning nasty* “But it’s not like I used it every day! And you can see it’s snapped; that’s clearly a factory error!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am.”

Customer: *screeching now and heading out the door* “That’s fine; you’ll just never see me again. I’ll never shop here again!”

Me: *panicking slightly* “It’s fine, ma’am; I’m sure I can make an exception in your case!”

Customer: *all smiles again* “Oh, fantastic! Right, so, I’ll see you tomorrow! Bye!”

(She left, leaving me totally surprised by her complete turn around. I looked down at the receipt again and realized it was not even for the same d*** product! Bullied and conned by a little old lady in one transaction!)

Unfiltered Story #103712

, , , | Unfiltered | January 16, 2018

A new hire, who was a total brown-noser quickly got promoted to supervisor and developed a god-complex with the younger staff. One of them was around 6’3″ and 235lbs who was an amateur boxer and myself at 6’2″ and 205lbs and was a former amateur kick-boxer and wrestler, I also have Epilepsy and Asperger’s.

Both the boxer and myself worked well together, though the supervisor actually used to go out of her way to make things difficult for us on several occasions even going so far as to have her friends come in and make up fake complaints about us or verbally abuse us.

One such friend came in and called me over from a till (which I’m not supposed to leave) and she told me loudly to go over to their friend who then proceeded to verbally abuse me.

I just stood there and let the “big man” rant and rave (the guy can’t have been more than about 5’8″ and 130lbs), as he finished I apologised for whatever he’d made up and attempted to go back to my till at which point he tripped me up and I fell towards a shelf though managed to grab it so I didn’t fall. The guy then proceeded to push me again at which point I hit him with a right hook and knocked him out as he fell into a floor display.

I proceeded to call the paramedics and police as well as the manageress whose “pet” had instigated the situation.

The guy was tended to by the paramedics whilst I was called into the office with the police and the supervisor present who was smiling smugly at me as the manageress was saying I’m being fired and arrested. I told her to check the CCTV which the police agreed to which showed the restraint I had before defending myself. She then said I’d still be written up and put on disciplinary action.

Having had enough I said: “you know of my disabilities and can see that I was assaulted first. You’re responsible for providing me with a safe working environment. In the space of an hour I’ve been assaulted and discriminated against because of my disabilities. The police could be making some arrests now and it wouldn’t be me they’re arresting. If you so much as write me up I’ll contact both my union and corporate and let them know what happened here; and they’d fire you just to keep me happy.

The police walked out and I followed them a few minutes after because it was the end of my shift. The following day I noticed that not only had the CCTV tape from the day before conveniently gone “missing” but there was a write-up on the notice board. I took the sheet down, wrote “I quit” on the back, flipped off the manageress and supervisor as my colleague smiled and walked across the road into a rival convenience store where I was offered a promotion and raise and got a job there. They both got transferred when the shop got bought out and the customers boycotted the store when they found out what they’d put me through. I later found out that the friend was the supervisor’s dealer.

Kicking Up A Stink

, , , , , , , | Right | January 16, 2018

(I work for a popular pizza delivery company. I am on my way to an address with an order. My car has got the light-up sign on top of it with the company logo on it. I have stopped at a traffic light when suddenly my rear passenger door opens. A lady I don’t recognise puts a whole load of shopping bags in before climbing in herself.)

Lady: “All right, I need to get to [town an hour’s drive away]. The address is…”

Me: “Whoa! Sorry, madam, but I’m not actually a taxi. I work for [Pizza Place].”

Lady: *looks at me like I’m crazy* “I know that! But you’re better than a taxi service! I’m sure you know the roads just as well, and I wouldn’t have to spend an extortionate amount of money, either!”

Me: “Madam, I’m not allowed to take passengers, and even if I could I never head to [Town]; it’s outside our delivery area!”

Lady: *huffy* “Well! It’s not like you have nothing to gain from this! If you take me home and help take my shopping indoors, I might consider ordering a pizza from you tonight. Depending on how I feel later, of course.”

(By this point, the lights have been green for a while. The cars behind me are honking their horns and the drivers are expressing themselves with rather rude gestures.)

Me: “Madam, I really don’t have time to explain this! I’m sorry, but there’s no way I can give you a lift! You’re going to have to travel home some other way!”

(The lady stares agape before scowling, grabbing her bags and leaving, slamming my car door as hard as she can. I take my delivery as normal. When I return to the shop, my manager pulls me aside.)

Manager: “So, we got a complaint about a straggly young man that wouldn’t take a tired woman with her heavy bags of shopping home?”

Me: “Oh, she rang up, did she? Did she say how she got in my car at a traffic light, knowing full well I was a pizza man?”

Manager: “Actually, yeah. But don’t worry; I talked some sense into her.”

Me: “Oh? You explained how we’re not insured to do that?”

Manager: *raises an eyebrow* “No. I explained how, if she rides in your car to [Town], all her shopping would stink of pizza for months. She asked why you didn’t just say so, and hung up. Okay, back to work.”

(And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you become a good manager.)

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