The Car To Reception Teleporter Was Broken

, , , | Learning | November 19, 2017

(A couple of years after I leave school, I am invited back to be involved in the mentoring programme. The first time I go to meet the coordinator, I park and start walking from the main gate towards the main entrance when I meet a teacher.)

Teacher: “Excuse me. Where are you going?”

Me: “I’m visiting; I’m just going to main reception to–“

Teacher: “You shouldn’t be wandering around here”

Me: “Oh, no, I’ve just arrived; I’m going to sign in at the reception now.”

Teacher: “You’re supposed to sign in as soon as you get here and wait for a member of staff to collect you from the entrance area.”

Me: “That’s exactly what I’m doing.”

Teacher: “Yes, well, remember next time.”

This Store Has A Drinking Problem

, , , , , | Working | November 18, 2017

Me: “Excuse me. I just saw someone drink from this and put it back.”

Worker: “Oh, umm, okay?”

Me: *offering it*

Worker: “What do you want me to do about it?”

Me: “Well, I would expect you to take it and hand it to loss prevention or something? I don’t think many would be happy to buy something that’s been opened and consumed already.”

(The worker reluctantly took it and I got back to my shopping. Not five minutes later, however, I noticed him putting it back out. He scurried off when he noticed me. I decided to just buy it and get rid of it on my own, and send a strongly worded letter to their complaints department. I don’t know if anything came of it, as I got no reply. I don’t shop there anymore.)

Not So Super(Visor)

, , , , | Working | November 18, 2017

(I have just started a new job. My job title is technically “Customer Manager,” but it is a minimum-wage, entry-level position. I have no actual authority to do anything but fulfill simple requests for customers and take payments. My supervisor takes the “Manager” part seriously, however, so whenever a customer is unhappy and wants to make a complaint, he refuses to speak with them. This occurs when a customer has asked me if he can speak to a manager.)

Me: “Hey, would you mind speaking to this customer? I’ve explained why we can’t help him, but he’s really not happy and he wants to speak to a manager.”

Supervisor #1: *sighs heavily* “Look: you need to start handling these. You. Are. A. Manager. You can’t just pass it off to me because someone is yelling at you, okay?”

Me: “I understand that, but there’s nothing I can do for him. I’ve called other departments, and I’ve explained it to him from every angle. I think he just needs to hear it from someone else.”

Supervisor #1: “Look, I’m not getting on at you, but this is something you should be able to handle. I’ve got things to do.” *looks over at another, nicer supervisor* “Hey, can you handle this?”

Supervisor #2: “Sure.” *sits next to me and takes the phone* “Hello, sir?”

(The nice supervisor takes ten minutes to explain everything I’ve told the customer, and then the customer relents and hangs up.)

Supervisor #2: “There, all settled.”

Supervisor #1: “See? It’s that easy. Now, thank you, [Supervisor #2], from both myself and [My Name].”

Me: “Yes, seriously, thank you.”

Supervisor #1: “Next time, you should deal with it on your own.”

Me: “Even if they specifically request one of my superiors? I’m just supposed to tell them that I won’t, because I’m all they get to talk to?”

Supervisor #1: “Well, don’t phrase it like that, but yes!”

Supervisor #2: “Actually, it’s our job to speak to customers if they ask for us. You can’t just refuse to speak to someone. She’s a manager, yes, but in name only. That was actually a very abusive customer that was on the verge of taking legal action against us and getting in touch with the Better Business Bureau. True, nothing would’ve come of it, because we did everything right, but if it came to light that we denied him the opportunity to speak to a manager, then you would’ve gotten it in the neck for not assisting [My Name] when she asked.”

Supervisor #1: *glares and sulks for the rest of the day*

(Not long after that, [Supervisor #1] was promoted and I got a new one who actually supported me with difficult customers. [Supervisor #1] and I get along a lot better now that we don’t work together.)

Sidewalking Tall

, , , | Working | November 17, 2017

(I have just been involved in an accident where a car, in the process of avoiding a collision, mounted the pavement and hit me. It isn’t serious, as the car wasn’t going very fast. An ambulance and police car arrive. While an EMT looks me over, a police officer asks me questions.)

Officer: “How fast were you going?”

Me: “Uh, walking speed, I guess.”

Officer: *not believing me* “Sure. And were you wearing a seatbelt?”

(The EMT gives me a funny look as we both realise the officer has gotten me confused with the guy who hit me.)

Me: “Uh, no.”

Officer: *scolding me* “You’re old enough to know how important they are, so why wouldn’t you wear it?!”

Me: “I didn’t know they came with pavements.”

(This set the EMT off and he practically fell over laughing. The officer blushed and ran off. Another officer ended up having to finish the questioning.)

Shirley, They Can’t Be Serious

, , , , , , | Working | November 16, 2017

(My coworker, responsible for quality, sees me.)

Coworker: “Ah, [My Name], is there any news on the microscope repair?”

Me: “I’m going to call the engineer shortly.”

Coworker: “What if he doesn’t want to be called shortly?”

Me: “Well, as long as I don’t call him Shirley… Or was that not supposed to be an Airplane joke?”

Coworker: “Eh?”

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