Me: “Can I get a medium Americano and a medium latte with hazelnut syrup, please?”

Speakerbox: “Sure. Drive round, please.”

I pay and wait for my drinks.

Worker: “That’s your Americano and your latte.”

Me: “Hazelnut latte?”

Worker: “Err…”

He speaks to his coworker in hushed tones.

Worker: “No, sorry. Do you want me to remake it?”

Me: “Did you charge me for the syrup?”

Worker: “Yes.”

Me: “Then yes, please.”

Worker #2: *From the back of the shop* “What am I supposed to do with this?”

Worker: “I don’t know. Throw it away.”

This one coffee seemed to take an age. Eventually, he asked me to drive past the window and said they would bring it to me. After several more minutes, they did bring me my wife’s coffee… with caramel syrup!

I’m ordering two burritos. I go through the first one. It doesn’t have many fillings but the worker seems pretty new, so it takes a long while. It doesn’t exactly look great, but I guess it will taste okay. The second burrito has nearly everything on it and takes even longer. Again, they are new, so I’m being super patient. 

Eventually, it gets to rolling, and after four attempts and swearing several times…

Worker #1: “I give up.”

And the worker walks off.

Me: “Err, what?”

A few minutes later, and still, no one is there.

Me: “Hello? Anyone?”

Worker #2: “Sorry about that. I didn’t realise no one was here. What can I get you?”

Me: “Well, that was my order sitting there.”

Worker #2: “D*** it, [Worker #1]. I am so sorry. This looks a bit of a mess. Do you want me to remake it?”

Me: “I’ve been here a while now. If you can save that one, I will take it.”

She rolls the burrito, packs my food, and checks me out. She applies some discount as it comes out a lot cheaper.

Worker #2: “Again, sorry for the mess.”

Me: “Oh, no worries. We got there in the end. It’s difficult being new at any job.”

Worker #2: “Oh, he’s not new, just useless. Have a good day.”

I’m shopping for a few things for my baby. I need some help but realise there is no one wearing a uniform. In fact, I can’t recall there ever being a uniform here. I search the floor and give up. I take the rest of my things to the tills.

Cashier: “Did you find everything you needed today?”

Me: “Actually, I couldn’t find anyone to help me, so I did struggle.”

Cashier: *Really defensively* “Actually, we all wear lanyards. So maybe look out for those next time!”

Me: “You mean the lanyard that you and everyone at the tills are not wearing?”

She looked down at herself and then at her friends. None of them were wearing lanyards or anything with the company name on.

I ended up looking for the rest of my items online. I found a site way cheaper so I didn’t need to go back to the store. Eventually, I guess most people did the same, as the store closed a year later.

I’m shopping for a particular part for my car. It’s a big chain with a massive store that pushes their help and advice as part of their service. I quickly get stuck with all the choices and wander around looking for a member of staff. I find no one, not even at the till. 

I find someone at the audio desk. He apologises as he can’t help, but he calls for someone on the tannoy. When that doesn’t work, he calls an internal number.

Worker: “I’m sorry, no one is answering.”

Me: “Where is everyone? Is there some sort of emergency?”

Worker: “No, I really don’t know. Sorry. There should be at least three people at all times.”

Me: “Thanks. I’m going to wait by the till. If they get back to you, can you send them over?”

I wait and wait. I need the part and have a long drive ahead that I don’t want to do without it. I go back to the audio desk and he tries again. He starts to get visibly annoyed at his coworkers and cannot apologise enough.

Fed up, I make a call to the first regional number I find.

Me: “I’ve been at [Store] for… thirty-five minutes, and I haven’t seen any member of staff outside of the audio guy. No one is on the tills or watching the exits. Can you help?”

Whatever they did worked, as three members of staff were suddenly available, even if they looked like they were half-asleep. The kicker was they knew less about cars than I did, so they were no help!

I guessed and bought what turned out to be the wrong thing, but I managed to make my journey anyway.

Despite living on a quiet road with play parks and schools, we still get idiots driving up and down the road as fast as possible. There have been lots of near misses and it’s only a matter of time before someone really injures themself.

Every time anyone tries to lobby for traffic calming measures, a bunch of idiots whine about how it will affect them (marginally) and complain against it. One idiot in particular, Mr. Whiner, always jumps on any post to defend any wrongdoers, stating he lives on that very street and essentially, because he doesn’t see it, it can’t be true or that bad.

Eventually, it happens: some manchild drives his car so quickly it clips the kerb, bouncing it across the road and into a parked car. The parked car of Mr. Whiner has its front end obliterated. How the driver walked out was tantamount to a miracle.

Of course, Mr. Whiner suddenly can’t understand why no one has done anything already.