This S*** Is Delicious!

, , , | Right | March 19, 2019

(A woman has been waiting in line for a few minutes.)

Woman: “What is this?”

Me: “Chocolate flavour.”

Woman: “It looks like someone s*** in a tin.”

Me: “Could you please moderate your language? There are children within earshot.”

(She turns around and sees a kid eating chocolate ice cream.)

Woman: “You’re eating someone else’s s***.” *leaves*

(Strangest customer I’ve ever had.)

Unfiltered Story #144557

, | Unfiltered | March 19, 2019

(I work in a charity shop that charges 2p per carrier bag to try to promote people to bring their own; when completing a sale, I always ask the customer if they need a carrier bag for 2p or if they can manage without or have their own. Most people don’t begrudge paying the 2p if they need one.)
Me (serving a customer who has bought a jacket): So that’ll be £3.99. Do you need a carrier bag for an extra 2p?
Customer: What?
Me: I said, do you need a carrier bag? They cost an extra 2p.
Customer (clearly not paying attention): Yes, whatever.
Me (as I put the jacket into the bag): Okay, that brings your total to £4.01 please.
Customer: Hang on, what? The price tag said it was only £3.99.
Me: Yes, but as I said, the carrier bags cost 2p. Would you still like the bag, or will you be okay without one?
Customer (starting to get angry): You shouldn’t just charge me extra for a bag without telling me first.
Me: I did tell you when I asked if you needed a bag that they’re an extra 2p. If you’d rather not pay for one, no worries, I’ll just take jacket out of the bag.
Customer: Well no, of course I want the bag. But in future, you should tell people that they cost 2p.

(He paid the £4.01 and left without any more complaints!)

Where Do You Think YOU Came From?

, , , , , | Right | March 18, 2019

(I work in a movie theater. My colleague is a short woman who is in her last trimester of her first pregnancy. Due to this combination, she cannot reach the row of ice cream tubs further away from her without crushing her baby. She is serving an elderly woman who asks for ice cream that she cannot reach.)

Colleague: “I’m sorry, I cannot reach that one because I’m pregnant.” *to me* “[My Name], could you finish this lady’s ice cream for me?”

Me: “No problem.”

(I take over and my colleague takes the payment. Not long after, the customer comes to me.)

Customer: “I just wanted to say that your colleague did not need to tell me she was pregnant. That’s disgusting!”

(I was too stunned to answer, but she seemed content with having said her piece and walked off.)

Don’t Question It

, , , | Right | March 18, 2019

(I work in a supermarket deli. A coworker is off sick today due to a case of vomiting, so we are a bit slower and there is a line forming. Most of the line is fine and understanding once they know why we are behind. One customer, though, a gentleman in a sharp suit, is getting increasingly irate.)

Gentleman: “CAN I GET SOME F****** SERVICE, PLEASE?!”

Coworker: “Hmm, no.”

Gentleman: *stunned* “Excuse me?!”

Coworker: “I said no.”

Gentleman: “B-but, I’m the customer!”

Coworker: “Right you are. It’s our obligation to serve you. However, since you posed the question, you have opened yourself to the possibility that you could be denied, which I have taken the opportunity to invoke.”

(Several in the line laugh at her response, and the gentleman stares at her, completely dumbstruck and blushing.)

Gentleman: “You can’t do this! I’ll complain and get your a**e fired!

Coworker: “Oh, please, go ahead. If it means never having to deal with your attitude again, I would happily get my a**e drop-kicked out of the door.”

(More in the line laugh and the gentleman storms off, screaming so loudly we can hear him still as he complains to a duty manager on the service desk. During a lull in activity, the manager comes to us.)

Coworker: “So, am I fired?”

Manager: “I’ll probably have to write you up, but I’ve never seen [Gentleman] so flustered. God, it was satisfying.”

Me: “So, you know him?”

Manager: “We went to university together. He stood up in front of an entire lecture theatre and spent nearly an hour explaining why he would make the perfect representative. He wasted so much time the lecturer banned him from ever speaking again in her presence. He lost the election and made this big demonstration outside of the union about how we all had no respect for him. It’s sad to know he’s still a self-entitled prick!”

(He came back in again to gloat, acting arrogant and authoritarian, until he saw that my coworker was still here and ran back to the duty manager to complain again. He then made a big fuss when he was banned, with the duty manager standing over him, hands on hips, shouting, “Really, this again? You’re worse than an old soak!”)

Samir And Amil Are Still Good Scottish Names

, , , | Right | March 18, 2019

(I am assisting a customer in purchasing a new phone contract with us. She has agreed to an upfront payment of £100 to reduce the monthly costs.)

Me: “Will you be using debit or credit card?”

Customer: “Credit.”

Me: “Okay, then I must warn you that there will be an additional charge of £2.50. Are you happy to continue?

Customer: “What compensation will you give me?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “For overcharging me?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I guess I wasn’t clear enough. The additional charge is issued by the bank for the transfer of money. It is out of our control.”

Customer: “So, how much are you going to give me in compensation?”

Me: “Well, nothing. The charge isn’t issued by us; you are still only paying us £100. The £2.50 is for the bank transfer.”

Customer: “Let me get this straight. You are overcharging me for something you are selling me, and I am getting nothing back?”

Me: “We are not overcharging you. This additional cost has absolutely nothing to do with us, and is because you having chosen to use a credit card. You are free to use a debit card, however, at no additional cost.”

Customer: “So, I’ll get something back for using my debit card?”

Me: “No, you would still need to pay the £100. You just won’t incur an additional charge.”

Customer: “So, I’ll get that £2.50 back?”

Me: *realising she will never understand* “Yes, you will.”

(She happily chose debit, but it was declined. She got extremely irate, screamed at me in German, and hung up. She called back and tried to make a complaint. She claimed I was Samir from Honduras — I’m Daniel from Scotland — and said that I had stolen all the money out of her bank account. She was moved on to Fraud/Loss Prevention, where she then claimed I was Amil and had tried to sell her a knockoff phone. The story got increasingly more convoluted until she got so flustered she just hung up.)

Page 2/33812345...Last