Entitlement Bred From Good Intentions

, , , | Right | July 17, 2018

(I’m picking up a coffee with my three-month-old daughter. I’ve noticed the woman in front has had multiple cards declined to pay for her drink. Tired, and with a hungry baby, I offer to pay for her just so I can get my coffee.)

Customer: “I don’t know why your f****** machine won’t take my cards!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but it’s not the machine. There’s a cash point outside if you’d like to try there.”

Customer: “No! No, that’s just not going to work! I need my coffee!”

Me: *to cashier* “Excuse me, can I pay for her order? Can I get a black tea, too, please?” *to customer* “Don’t worry. We all have days like this.”

Customer: “Fine. Hurry up, I haven’t got all g**d*** day!”

Cashier: *helpless shrug* “Thanks.”

(I get my drink and sit down to feed my daughter. Barely two minutes later, the customer looms over us.)

Customer: “ I want a cookie.”

Me: “Uh… What?”

Customer: “I wanted a cookie; you need to pay for it.” *gestures to the cash desk where the same cashier is looking embarrassed and helpless*

Me: “Uh, I’m sorry, but I’m feeding at the moment. Besides, the cashier said there’s an ATM outside; try there.”

Customer: “Don’t be such a b****. It’s only £2! Give me your card and I’ll do it myself, if you’re going to be like that!”

Me: “Seriously?! You’re going to swear at me right now whilst I’ve got my t**s out feeding my baby?! You need to back off and enjoy the coffee you never bothered thanking me for in the first place!”

Customer: “Well, there’s no need to be such a b**** about it!” *to cashier* “Aren’t you going to say something about this?!”

Cashier: “No, miss, I’d really better not. You might want to leave before you are removed.”

(The customer stormed out of the coffee shop, barging into an elderly lady in the process and spilling her drink all over the floor. Not a total loss for me, though; the cashier brought me a cookie for free!)

The Menu Has Mushroom For Improvement

, , , , , | Right | July 17, 2018

(I am a duty manager at a five-hotel near Soho, helping at the bar and restaurant when needed. I see a table has finished their main course.)

Me: “How was your meal?”

Guest #1: “Excellent.”

Guest #2: “I didn’t like my dish.”

Me: “Aw, really sorry about that. What was wrong? Would you like something else?”

Guest #2: “It tasted too much of rice and mushrooms.”

Guest #1: “You should have thought of that before ordering the wild mushrooms risotto.”

Me: “Um… Dessert?”

 

Hooked On That One Room

, , , , | Legal | July 17, 2018

(I am working as a receptionist. One evening my colleague and I observe some unusual behaviour with three or four different gentlemen requesting a specific room number. That’s usually a good indication of having someone making “business” in your hotel. With the last gentleman:)

Gentleman: “Hello, I have a friend in room [same number as previous gentlemen].”

Me: “Certainly, sir, could you please tell me the guest’s name?”

Gentleman: “[Female Name].”

Me: “Thank you, sir, but unfortunately the name I have for that room is different. Would you be able to call that person to ask her to meet you here in the lobby?”

Gentleman: “Sure.”

(The gentleman calls the lady. They are talking on the phone and are three meters apart. I realise they are talking to someone they have never seen before; they soon realise and they go upstairs to her room. After about an hour the gentleman leaves and the lady asks me for a coffee. I serve her coffee and take payment.)

Me: “Madam, I’m sorry, but I need to talk to you in private.”

(I escort her to our office and close the door.)

Me: “Madam, I’m really sorry, but I have reason to believe you are making business in our hotel and we cannot allow it for obvious legal reasons.”

Lady: “Business? What business?”

Me: ”It can be either prostitution or drugs, madam, and we cannot allow it here.”

Lady: “Oh, no, no, no. I would never do anything like that! You are wrong; I’m just a normal guest meeting friends.”

Me: “Meeting friends you don’t even know how they look? A bit unusual.”

Lady: “…”

Me: “Madam, look. You have paid so you have the right to stay here. This is your life and I don’t judge you for your choices. However, if I see any more signs of activity I will be forced to ask you to leave the hotel.”

Lady: “Absolutely. I am not making any kind of business.”

(She goes up to her room. Five minutes later she calls reception:)

Lady: “Hi, we spoke a few minutes ago.”

Me: “Hello.”

Lady: “Can I please just have one last client coming up?”

Me: “No.”

Lady: “What if I give you £20?”

Me: “No.”

Lady: “Oh, okay.”

(The lady left the hotel a few minutes later.)

Zero Tolerance Is Enforced On Zeroes

, , , , , , | Right | July 17, 2018

(I overhear the following:)

Cashier: “Good afternoon!”

Customer: *grunts*

Cashier: “Do you have a loyalty card?”

Customer: *grunts*

Cashier: *again* “Do you have a loyalty card, sir?”

Customer: *aggressively* “I don’t talk to losers like you.”

Cashier: “Oh, well, you can f*** off, then. SECURITY!”

Customer: *to nearby assistant manager* “Did you hear that?”

Assistant Manager: “Yes, didn’t you? F*** off, now.”

Customer: “I demand to speak to the top manager!”

(The top manager pops up from nowhere.)

Manager: “Didn’t you hear my staff? F*** off; you’re banned from here.”

(A few days later, I saw the same manager and asked whether they’d had any comeback from the incident. Apparently, the a**hole customer complained to corporate, who told him that no, he wasn’t banned from the store; he was banned from every [Store] in the country. They also entered his details into the aggressive-customer database shared by all the major chains, so he’s now banned from all supermarkets in the local area.)

Not Thinking Outside The Inbox

, , , | Right | July 17, 2018

Me: “Good afternoon. This is the [Operating System] IT service desk. My name is [My Name]; how may I help you?”

Caller: “I hope you can. How do I make it so I can’t see my emails when I click on them?”

Me: “Excuse me, sir, but I don’t quite understand. Could you explain this issue to me?”

Caller: “When I click on my emails, it opens them. I don’t want to read them.”

Me: “Sir, if you do not wish to open the emails, the only thing I could suggest would be to not click them.”

Caller: “How do I make it so that I can click on my emails without reading them?”

Me: “What is it that you are wanting to do with the emails?”

Caller: “Nothing!”

Me: *unsure what to say* “Um, if there is nothing you wish to do with the emails, you should just be able to leave them in your inbox without having to click on them.”

Caller: “Will I still be able to open them later?”

Me: “Yes, sir. The emails will remain in your inbox until you choose to delete them.”

Caller: “Oh, okay. Thank you for your help.” *click*

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