Some Superheroes You See Outside The Movies

, , , , , , | Friendly | March 12, 2018

(Waiting for my bus in the pouring rain after having a terrible day at work, I see a little boy across the road, dragging his mum down the street, shouting excitedly.)

Little Boy: “Hurry up, Mum! I want to see the superheroes and tell them what I did today.”

Mum: “I’m going as fast as I can. Which one’s your favourite?”

Little Boy: “I love them all. They’re my bestest friends in the ever!”

Mum: “Okay, we’re nearly there, sweetie.”

(The little boy and his mum stopped in front of the war memorial. The little lad was jumping up and down shouting, “Hello!” His mum started reading the names off, and the little boy kept repeating them telling them that he went to school for the first time that day. I cried.)

The Mother Of All Cheap Customers

, , , , , , | Right | March 11, 2018

(It is Mother’s Day. We have had lots of deliveries of £1 bunches of daffodils. A lot of them are dated today, so to clear them, we have reduced them down to 40p per bunch and put them on the checkouts for customers to see. We have also been told to offer them to all customers. A young man comes up to my till with a nice bouquet of flowers costing £6.)

Me: “Your mum will love these. Would you like a bunch of daffodils to give to her as well?”

Customer: “They’re only 40p?”

Me: “Indeed. A little extra present for Mum?”

Customer: “Actually, I’ll leave these [the £6 bouquet] and buy a bunch of these [the 40p daffodils], instead! Thanks!”

(He pays his 40p and walks off. I realise that instead of getting an extra 40p from him, I’ve lost £5.60 from the sale! As I mull over this…)

Next Customer: “I feel sorry for his mum!”

Oldest Trick In The Book

, , , , | Hopeless | March 10, 2018

(At my cinema, we have special screenings for seniors on Wednesday mornings. For less than half the price of a normal ticket, they can see a movie that was released earlier in the year, as well as get a cup of tea and a small snack. On this day, I am approached by a man who is well under forty, and his maybe seven-year-old daughter.)

Man: “Two tickets to [Marvel Movie], please! [Daughter] and I missed it when it was out first time, so we were excited to see it on the website.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m really not supposed to give tickets to non-seniors. It’s a special viewing for our older customers.”

Man: *disappointed, but pleasant* “Oh. I should’ve looked. I was just really excited to see it in the cinema. Don’t worry, love; it’s not your fault.”

(I feel bad, because the man is looking crestfallen, and I consider making an exception and arguing with my manager later. Before I can say anything, however, the little girl looks from her dad to me and back again before clearly making a decision.)

Daughter: *clutching her back and doubling over* “Oh! My back!”

Man: “[Daughter]? What’s wrong?”

Daughter: “It’s my back, Daddy! I have a sore back because I’m so old!”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Oh, is that right? How old are you?”

Daughter: “I’m at least seventy-seven and I need a ticket for the old people movie! And Daddy needs to come help me to my seat!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I can certainly do a ticket for you and your companion if you’re the right age.”

Daughter: “I already told you I’m eighty-seven!”

Man: “You said seventy-seven, [Daughter].”

Daughter: “See? I’m so old I don’t know what age I am!”

(I let them in and replaced the tea with a fruit juice for her. My manager wasn’t thrilled with me when she found out, but the dad was thankful. Besides, that kind of quick thinking must be rewarded!)

Delete The Chat, But Not The Memory

, , , , , | Working | March 9, 2018

Some of us at work have a WhatsApp group. One colleague who was just coming to work started sending laughing emojis before saying that what he was sharing was too hilarious not to share. Then followed a series of photos of an elderly woman on a bus, whose skirt was ruffled up, exposing her underwear, which had a prominent stain. Most of us were together at the front, tidying the store before opening. One manager, who was also in the group, went pale at the photos, and finished work early.

We were all a bit confused and found the photos awkward to look at, so the admin removed us all and deleted the group. Since the chat was technically outside work, the colleague couldn’t get in trouble for it. It did make working with her rather awkward, though.

As for the manager who left, we later found out that the elderly woman was his aunt who had Alzheimer’s and had been missing for two days. Although he was thankful that she was found, it made working with the colleague and the manager even more awkward. The manager eventually took leave to care for his aunt.

What makes it worse for me is, I found the colleague the other day laughing at something on her phone. She noticed and showed me. It was the same photos she had shared on WhatsApp.

Now We Know Why The Wife Ran Away

, , , , | Right | March 9, 2018

(It is an average day for me at the large clothing outlet store where I work. Whilst on the shop floor, a man in his late 60s suddenly approaches me. He moves directly towards me and gets my attention. It is not uncommon for customers to inquire about our products, so I prepare for what I presume will be a clothes-related question by fixing a professional smile to my face.)

Customer: “Have you seen my wife?”

(I do not know this man, never mind his wife.)

Me: *taken aback* “Er, no, sorry… What does she look like?”

Customer: *visibly annoyed* “Never mind!” *pointing at my name badge* “So much for ‘Happy to help’!” *walks off*

(My name badge literally just contains my name. Nowhere does it say, “Happy to help,” which isn’t a slogan used by our company. My name does not even contain any of the letters used within the words “happy,” “to,” or “help.”)

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