Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 3

| Learning | September 11, 2013

(I work as a junior teacher at a center for young children. Our supervisor has a paunch.)

Young Child: “Hey, Mr. [Supervisor]. Can I ask you something?”

Supervisor: “Sure.”

Young Child: “Are you pregnant?”

Supervisor: “Uh…”

Young Child: “See!? I knew it! I knew he was pregnant!”

Supervisor: “Why would you think that?

Young Child: *proudly* “Because when my mama was pregnant, her tummy was big. But yours is even bigger! So you must be SUPER-pregnant!”

(Guess who lost 20 pounds shortly after that?)


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Primes Come Before A Fall

| Learning | September 5, 2013

(I’m starting year seven next semester, but I’m almost done with year eight math. My father gives my new tutor year eight and nine math books.)

Tutor: “Year eight and nine? How old is she?”

Father: “She’s 12. But she’s already almost done with year eight. Can you continue where she left off? It’s the last three chapters, and then continue on to year nine?”

Tutor: “She’s starting year nine next year? You said she’s 12.”

Father: “No, she’s starting year seven next year, but this is her math level.”

Tutor: “Don’t be silly; she’s a girl. I’ve only taught boys one year above their level and you’re asking two years of a girl?”

Father: “Can you teach her or not?”

Tutor: “She’s too young to be learning these.”

Father: “She’s 12. Not that age really matters. What matters is this is her math level.”

(The tutor takes the year nine book and picks one of the hardest questions. I struggle a lot and can’t do it.)

Tutor: “It’s too hard. I think she needs year seven math.”

(My dad takes the year eight book and picks one of the hardest questions on a chapter I’ve already done. I do it easily.)

Tutor: “Wow! You really weren’t kidding.”

Father: “No more, uh, complications here?”

Tutor: “Definitely no problem! I am very sorry about earlier.”

Father: “No worries. So, can you teach her the last three chapters? And then continue to year nine?”

Tutor: “Sure! And I apologize again.”

(He turns out to be a very good tutor, and is proud of what I can accomplish.)

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How’s That For Just Desserts

| Learning | July 8, 2013

Me: “Are you okay?”

Student: “NO!”

Me: “What’s the problem?”

Student: “NO!”

Me: “There’s no problem?”

Student: “NO!”

Me: “Are you doing your work?”

Student: “NO!”

Me: “Are you going to do any work?”

Student: “NO!”

Me: “…Do you know any word other than ‘no’ today?”

Student: “NO!”

Me: “…Want some ice cream?”

Student: “NO! …Wait, what?”

Me: “Too late!”

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He’s Baconing To Understand

| Learning | June 5, 2013

(I’m working with a seven-year-old boy on his reading skills.)

Me: “Today we’re going to read a story about a pig, so on this paper I want you to write something that you know about pigs.”

Student: “Okay!”

(He works for a couple of minutes.)

Me: “Alright, why don’t you read me what you wrote?”

Student: “Pigs are pink. And when you smoke them, they turn into ham!”

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When Futures Draw To A Close

, | Learning | May 28, 2013

(I am tutoring a student in basic drawing. This particular student has a very high opinion of himself and has been constantly interjecting that this school is wasting his time and not teaching things the way he needs to be learning them.)

Student: “Okay, look, I’m not complaining, okay? I’m just saying, this drawing stuff is a waste of my time and energy. I have a full-time job and a social life and I don’t have time to draw every day. I just want to learn [3D modeling software]!”

Me: “Well, drawing it is how you first learn to interpret the world as we truly see it and not how your brain reduces it down into symbols.”

Student: “But, look, if you wanted me to model this, I could. But I’ll NEVER have to DRAW anything in the field I want to get into.”

Me: “I guarantee you will. Besides, it will be your job to learn to take a 2D drawing or concept and make it 3D and understanding the drawing is the first step.”

Student: “Look, I know you care a lot about this, but it’s b*******. You obviously haven’t been in [this field of art] or you’d know that.”

(One of our instructors is walking by with a couple of people. He walks into the room.)

Instructor: “Excuse me, what is your name?”

Student: “Uh.. it’s [name]. How can I help you?”

Instructor: “Oh, well, we were walking by and heard your conversation. [CEO of major company in the students’ field] and [Art Director for same company] want to know who you were so they could be sure never to hire you.”

(He then turned to me and calmly introduced me to the two gentlemen with them and asked me to give them my business card. I’m expecting to start work with their company as soon as I graduate!)

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