icon_school

Will Need To See A Doctor(ate) After This

, | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Popular, School

(It’s my first day of working the front desk at the center. My coworker takes a call, which he puts on speaker so I can hear and learn the appropriate reactions to certain common questions, should they come up.)

Coworker: “Hello, this is the [University Center]. My name is [Coworker]. How can I help you?”

Client: “I need help writing my doctoral thesis.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, we primarily provide services to undergrad students.”

Client: “But your website says you have someone who does doctorate level work!”

Coworker: “Yes, sir, but he does doctorate level statistics, and does not work in our writing department. He will not be able to assist you in writing your thesis.”

Client: *growing angry* “I just want someone to do the work! I don’t care if he’s in the writing department or not!”

Coworker: “Unfortunately, sir, we are explicitly told not to do work for students, but rather aid them in understand concepts.”

Client: *shouting* “That’s ridiculous! What purpose do you people serve if you won’t even do a doctoral thesis! You’re getting paid aren’t you? You f***ing lazy, useless undergrad s***s don’t even deserve to be here!”

Coworker: *pauses* “Excuse me, sir, let me transfer you to my manager.”

Client: “Please do! Then I can tell them what a f***ing t**t you are!”

(Coworker transfers the call, and then looks at me.)

Coworker: *dryly* “Well, unfortunately for him, I transferred him to an empty desk. [Manager] doesn’t work weekends.”

Obviously, They Prefer Fartissimo

, | Huntington Beach, CA, USA | School

(In music, “pianissimo” means “very quiet”. It is abbreviated as “PP” on sheet music and scores. Currently, I am teaching a student who always pounds the keys, no matter what dynamic level is indicated.)

Student: “Oh no! This has PP!”

Me: “Yep, it’s a quiet piece.”

Student: “I hate PP! It’s too hard to do. I can’t do PP!”

Me: “Sounds like a personal problem to me, buddy…”

It Works Better When Fed Cheese

, | California, USA | Technology

(Our college has students of all ages in attendance. Sometimes, the older ones need a little more guidance with using technology. Today, an older gentleman approaches my help desk brandishing several handwritten sheets of lined paper.)

Student: “My teacher says I need to type this.”

Me: “Okay! Well, I think the best program is Word. Just double-click on that blue “W” right there.”

(The student pokes the monitor’s screen with his index finger.)

Me: “Ah, well, actually, we don’t have touchscreens. You have to use the mouse. See?”

(I gesture to the mouse.)

Student: “Oh, okay.”

(He picks up mouse, places it on the monitor screen and clicks. The he looks at me expectantly.)

Me: “Er, well, you have to use it on the mouse pad.”

(I take the mouse and put it back on the mouse pad. Then I show him that when moving the mouse, the cursor on the screen moves.)

Student: “It’s not working very well. Maybe you guys didn’t feed it enough.”

The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 7

| United Kingdom | Family & Kids

(I hand out a vocabulary list to a class of 8-9 year olds.)

Me: “Does anyone know any of the words?”

Student: “I know what twilight means!”

Me: “Go on, tell us what you think it means.”

Student: “Actually, I’m not completely sure, but it’s got something to do with vampires…”

Related:
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 6
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 5
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 2
The Twilight Of Our Literacy

His Requirements Don’t Add Up

| CA, USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “Hi. I’m calling about your GED program.”

Me: “Well, we don’t have a specific program for the GED. I can assure you that all of our tutors are more than able to tutor the level of math on the GED.”

Caller: “Well, I’d like someone who has personal experience with the GED.”

Me: “Yes, but the GED test is for people who weren’t able to graduate high school.”

Caller: “Right.”

Me: “So, you want to be tutored by a tutor who didn’t graduate high school?”

Caller: “You don’t have anyone?”

Me: “No. All of our tutors graduated with honors and are now in college.”

Caller: “Oh, okay. Well, can you let me know if you ever get someone who is qualified?”

Page 1/212
RANDOM
Next »