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A Sample Of The Local Community

, , , , , | Healthy | September 9, 2019

My doctor wrote up an order for some blood work. On my way in, I passed a mailbox mounted to the wall outside.

It can’t be confused with anything but a mailbox. It even has a little red flag to raise for outgoing mail.

The nurse who drew my blood told me that the mail carrier just walked inside and delivered the mail. The box was unused. Then, one day someone suspected that things were being put in the box. There was no key. It had to be forced open. 


People were using it for a specimen dropbox. Blood, urine, and stool samples in whatever jar someone felt like putting them in had been put in a black metal box in full Oklahoma summer heat — normally over 100F. Anyone besides me thinking, “How many people tried to tear off the sign and rip away the tape to insert some new sample?”

Oh, Four The Love Of Beer!

, , , , , | Working | August 29, 2019

(I have been planning to restart my old hobby of beer-making. One commercial beer brand uses a type of mechanical top that eliminates the need for the common bottle cap. For this reason, it’s popular with home-brewers. It’s not a common beer, so I’m delighted to find that a local liquor store carries it. I buy two four-packs of it and a few weeks later return for more. This time, though, I can’t find any four-packs on the shelf.)

Me: “Where are the four-packs of [brand]? I’d like to get a pack of them.”

Clerk: “Hmm.” *hunts around* “Sometimes we have packs of it over here, but apparently, we are just selling singles. No packs.”

Me: “You don’t have the boxes they come in?”

Clerk: “No.”

Me: “Strange. Just a couple of weeks ago I got some four-packs of it.”

Clerk: “Oh, yeah, the guy who did that got in a lot of trouble for that.”

(I’m doubting this a lot. He used a barcode scanner on what I bought just like everything else.)

Me: “Well, okay. I don’t mind paying for them individually.”

(I grab four from the shelf and return to the counter and put them down one at a time for her to scan.)

Clerk: *realizing that four single large beers are awkward to carry without a container* “I can give you a carrier for those. Do you want it to be the same brand as the beer?”

Me: “Yes, that would be nice.”

(I have been a reader of this site for years, so I just knew what was about to happen. The clerk crossed the room, moved four cases of beer from a stack to get to the case at the bottom which was my preferred beer brand. She opened it, pulled out a four-pack, walked over to the singles shelf, transferred the contents to the shelf and returned triumphantly to the counter and put my four singles into it. We were right back to square one, with the four-pack I wanted to buy.)

Bet They Taught Him How To Tie His Shoes After That

, , , , , , | Related | August 28, 2019

When my son was three, he was in his Sunday School class and looked down to find his shoe was untied. His teacher apparently wasn’t paying very close attention to him because he couldn’t get the teacher’s attention to get his shoe tied. So, he wandered off to find Mom or Dad to fix the problem. 

He found me… playing bass on the platform for the worship service. Without a worry in the world, he wandered right up there to get his shoe tied. 

That set a few hundred people laughing and I was mortally embarrassed, but he got his shoe tied and then someone helpful got him back to his class.

Speed Rant

, , , , , | Right | March 26, 2019

(Because my daughter is waiting for me outside my home and I’m headed home from work, I am in a bit of a hurry to get a few items for dinner and go. I get into the “15 items or less [sic]” line where there are two cashiers. The guy at the near cashier has a mostly full cart, but fortunately he’s reached the point to have to pay so I figure this won’t be a problem. The second cashier tries to wave me over but I point to the other customer’s cart positioned so I can’t get past and I make a shrug and palms-up motion. I figure I’ll wait it out. But then I get frustrated as the other customer — who appears to be about my own age — is struggling with the credit-card reader. I sigh internally and wait for him to finally finish and go. I throw my four items on the counter and after he’s out of earshot and say:)

Me: “So how many customers come through who seem like they’ve never seen one of these before?”

Cashier: *laughing* “You would be amazed. It was just as bad before the switch.” *meaning adding the ability to read the chips in cards now, not just swipe*

Me: “And how many still use checks?”

Cashier: “Also way too many. I thought those were gone. I’ll take your rewards card.” *which she quickly scans and hands back*

Me: “Me, too. I guess they use the excuse that they are old.” *I pause* “I am old and I know how to use these things, so what’s their excuse?”

Cashier: *laughing* “You have a great day, sir.”

Me: “You, too.”

(The whole thing was done that fast. And who says you can’t have a friendly conversation in the fast lane?)

Swing Low

, , , , , | Learning | March 17, 2019

(I am a third-grade teacher on recess duty monitoring the students when I notice one of my “behavior problem” students walk in front of a little girl swinging on the swings and almost get hit. I go to stand directly in front of him for the following interaction.)

Me: “[Student], please come here.”

Student: *walks up to me but stops a few feet away*

Me: “I need you to be careful and watch where you are going. You almost–”

(During this, he begins to wander off, and he wanders in front of the little girl swinging and gets creamed. She laid him out flat on the ground.)

Little Girl: *continues swinging*

Me: *watching student lay on the ground, rolling a bit* “Well, I told you to watch where you are going. I don’t really feel sorry for you. Shake it off; you’re okay.”

Student: *gets up and limps for a few minutes before going back to play*

(I think the little girl might have knocked some sense into him because after that incident he hasn’t disrupted my class once.)