Speed Rant

, , , , , | Right | March 26, 2019

(Because my daughter is waiting for me outside my home and I’m headed home from work, I am in a bit of a hurry to get a few items for dinner and go. I get into the “15 items or less [sic]” line where there are two cashiers. The guy at the near cashier has a mostly full cart, but fortunately he’s reached the point to have to pay so I figure this won’t be a problem. The second cashier tries to wave me over but I point to the other customer’s cart positioned so I can’t get past and I make a shrug and palms-up motion. I figure I’ll wait it out. But then I get frustrated as the other customer — who appears to be about my own age — is struggling with the credit-card reader. I sigh internally and wait for him to finally finish and go. I throw my four items on the counter and after he’s out of earshot and say:)

Me: “So how many customers come through who seem like they’ve never seen one of these before?”

Cashier: *laughing* “You would be amazed. It was just as bad before the switch.” *meaning adding the ability to read the chips in cards now, not just swipe*

Me: “And how many still use checks?”

Cashier: “Also way too many. I thought those were gone. I’ll take your rewards card.” *which she quickly scans and hands back*

Me: “Me, too. I guess they use the excuse that they are old.” *I pause* “I am old and I know how to use these things, so what’s their excuse?”

Cashier: *laughing* “You have a great day, sir.”

Me: “You, too.”

(The whole thing was done that fast. And who says you can’t have a friendly conversation in the fast lane?)

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Swing Low

, , , , , | Learning | March 17, 2019

(I am a third-grade teacher on recess duty monitoring the students when I notice one of my “behavior problem” students walk in front of a little girl swinging on the swings and almost get hit. I go to stand directly in front of him for the following interaction.)

Me: “[Student], please come here.”

Student: *walks up to me but stops a few feet away*

Me: “I need you to be careful and watch where you are going. You almost–”

(During this, he begins to wander off, and he wanders in front of the little girl swinging and gets creamed. She laid him out flat on the ground.)

Little Girl: *continues swinging*

Me: *watching student lay on the ground, rolling a bit* “Well, I told you to watch where you are going. I don’t really feel sorry for you. Shake it off; you’re okay.”

Student: *gets up and limps for a few minutes before going back to play*

(I think the little girl might have knocked some sense into him because after that incident he hasn’t disrupted my class once.)

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Got Their Wires Crossed

, , , , , | Working | February 20, 2019

(I am wiring up some phone lines at home. Being the handy person I am, I have all the right tools for the job, but I need extra wire. Now that everyone is on cell phones, it’s easy to forget that there used to be three types of wire used for phones: four twisted wires inside a flesh-tone tube, four light wires in a gray, and a combination of the two that was like a spring. The right tool I have is a crimper that attaches clips to the end of the flat type. My wife is going out, so I decide to have her pick some up.)

Me: “I need fifty feet of phone cable. I need this kind. Here is a sample so you know exactly what to get.”

(I hand her six inches of cable and figure that this could not be screwed up. An hour later, she returns with the wrong kind of wire.)

Me: “This is the wrong wire.”

Wife: “The guy said you needed this kind.”

Me: *inwardly face-palming* “You do realize that there was a reason I sent a sample with you?”

(I wasn’t upset with my wife, but I really needed to smack the employee for the debacle. I knew my wife well enough that I knew a sample was needed to make sure I got the right thing. But what idiot employee, shown exactly what is needed, blindly decides you need something else?)

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Using Spanish To Complain About Thai

, , , , , | Working | December 16, 2018

(I take a friend, her daughter, and her daughter’s friend to a Thai restaurant that friends and family have loved to go to for many years. I haven’t been there in many months, but I promise my friend great food. Unfortunately, I am very disappointed with my meal and she is with hers. The girls order from the kids menu, and I think they got better food than we did. I am really feeling bad about this and I’m not sure what to say. My friend and the girls are very obviously Hispanic, and a busboy, even more Hispanic looking, comes up to the table. He starts talking to my friend, and the following conversation ensues, loudly and in Spanish.)

Busboy: “How was your meal?”

Friend: “Not really so good.”

Busboy: “I’m not surprised. The place has really gone downhill recently. You should really try [Competing Thai Restaurant nearby].”

Friend: “Thanks. Maybe we will.”

Busboy: “I’m not going to stay here much longer. They don’t treat staff very well.”

(I was a bit taken aback by the bluntness of the conversation, and glanced around. It seemed I was the only non-Hispanic in the room who knew what they were saying. Since I look as gringo as they come, the busboy might have either figured I didn’t know Spanish or that my Latina friend trusted me enough. Either way, the conversation made me chuckle later, and I figured that the restaurant would figure out their own mistakes when the books began to run in the red.)

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This Is All Public Record

, , , , , , | Legal | November 3, 2018

Years ago, my wife and I were the target of a civil suit. When we arrived at the court for the first hearing, the lights in the courtroom were out and not a soul was in sight. We checked the date and location on our paperwork. We were in the right place at the right time. After some hunting we found the judge’s office and were ushered into his private chambers. Had we not done so, it would have been a judgment against us. The other lawyers were there and smirking, but apparently put out that we found the location of hearing. At the time it didn’t go well, but the plaintiffs made some nasty goofs and the whole issue was dropped. I would have forgotten about the whole issue but I mentioned the judge to a friend of mine I’ll call Waldo.

Waldo was a nut. I say this in a kind way. He was one of the infamous “advisers” in the early days of the Vietnam War. Later in life he became a major advocate for rights and freedoms. To say that he liked to stick it to “the man” was an understatement. One time he went as far as pulling over a cop to warn him of a taillight out. Another time he had the sheriff’s office raid a bank for failure to respect a warrant.

But when I told him about the judge, he said he knew exactly who that was. He was in the same office I was in and complained that the hearing wasn’t public. The judge smugly declared that the office was public. After the hearing, Waldo left and was halfway out of the building when he got a crazy idea. He headed back to the judge’s office, waltzed past his secretary, and barged right into the chambers where the next “public hearing” was taking place. The judge naturally blew his top and asked Waldo what he was doing, barging in like that. Waldo calmly answered that the judge himself had said that this was public. Infuriated, the judge had to tolerate his presence.

Thankfully, laws of Karma caught up with the judge and he was ousted for that nonsense, and a few other bits of malfeasance.

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