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Well, That’s A New One For The Books

, , , , | Right | November 23, 2019

(I’m a part-time bookseller at a local book chain. I’ve been working part-time for almost seven years at this store so I’ve heard it all, but this is the first time I’ve ever encountered this kind of stupid. We were told recently that we cannot leave our zones to help customers; instead, we should direct them to a customer service rep. A customer who’s about 18 or 19 walks up to the register where I am.)

Customer: “Hello.”

Me: “Hi there. How can I help you?”

(I notice she doesn’t have anything in her hands, and I think she wants a gift card, which happens a lot.)

Customer: “So, this is my first time here.”

Me: “Awesome! Welcome in. Are you looking for something in particular or a certain book?”

Customer: “So, do I just pick it out and then bring it back?”

Me: “Sorry, what?”

Customer: “Like, do I pick out what I want and you tell me when to bring it back?”

Me: “We’re a bookstore?”

Customer: “Yeah, so when do I bring these back?”

Me: *thinking that maybe she’s high* “Yeah, this is a bookstore. You purchase items here. Every item has a barcode which I scan up here and then you give me something of a monetary value to take home and keep. This isn’t a library.”

Customer: “Oh. I thought you were going out of business, so I thought I should get something free.”

Me: “I assure you that we aren’t going out of business, ma’am. Now, do you need help finding anything?”

Customer: *stomps foot* “WHY ARE YOUR LIGHTS ON IF I CAN’T GET FREE THINGS?!” 

(She then turned and stomped out the door.)

Don’t Play Games With Me, Kid

, , , , , | Friendly | October 13, 2019

(I am attending my son’s graduation. As important as these are, they are long, dull affairs for those in the audience. I have just bought an iPod and I brought it along to keep myself amused. There’s a kid in front of me about 11 or 12. He turns around and sees me playing a game on the iPod.)

Kid: “Let me play!”

Me: *taken slightly aback* “Um, that would be no.”

Kid: “Why not? I’m bored. I want to play with it!”

Me: “Because I bought it to amuse me, not amuse you.”

(The kid glared for a moment, clearly trying to think of a rebuttal, and then realized I’m no pushover and turned back around. I returned to my game thinking, “Where are this kid’s parents? Now and for the last ten years of his life?”)

It’s Not Easy, Avoiding Green

, , , , , , , | Working | September 30, 2019

Cashier: “What’s that?” *picking up the artichoke I have picked out*

Me: “It’s an artichoke.”

Cashier: “Ew! I don’t like artichokes.”

Me: “Literally ten seconds ago you didn’t know what it was. How would you know you don’t like them?”

Cashier: “I…” *pauses to try to come up with a plausible excuse* “…I don’t like green food.”

(I didn’t comment further, but I was thinking, “You have issues with lettuce and lime jello?”)

We’re Always Mobile Enough To Make Someone’s Day Better

, , , , , | Right Working | September 20, 2019

(I am working a late shift at the grocery store and I have not been having a great day. I am tired, and hungry from not eating lunch, but I am still putting my best foot forward. I see an older gentleman roll up in one of our mobility scooters.)

Me: “Sir, are you ready to check out?”

Customer: “Why, yes!”

Me: *mustering what energy I can* “Well, come on down, sir! Don’t be shy! I’ll get you taken care of on the express lane!”

Customer: “All righty!”

Me: “Would you mind if I unload your basket for you, sir?”

Customer: “I’d love that! I can’t do it myself.”

(I smile as I unload his cart.)

Customer: “I can tell you’ve had a busy day, but I want you to know that I grew up with the founder of [Grocery Chain], and he would be very proud to see one of his employees treat someone so well. I know he’s not around anymore, but in his stead, I’ll say, ‘I’m proud of you.’”

Me: “That means a lot, sir.”

(I shut down my lane and followed him out to his car, loaded his groceries, and wished him well. He turned my day around!)

Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 34  

, , , , , | Right | September 13, 2019

(Overheard in the next aisle:)

Customer: “Honey, get a shorter cable so we get faster Internet.”

Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 33
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 32
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 31