Don’t Play Games With Me, Kid

, , , , , | Friendly | October 13, 2019

(I am attending my son’s graduation. As important as these are, they are long, dull affairs for those in the audience. I have just bought an iPod and I brought it along to keep myself amused. There’s a kid in front of me about 11 or 12. He turns around and sees me playing a game on the iPod.)

Kid: “Let me play!”

Me: *taken slightly aback* “Um, that would be no.”

Kid: “Why not? I’m bored. I want to play with it!”

Me: “Because I bought it to amuse me, not amuse you.”

(The kid glared for a moment, clearly trying to think of a rebuttal, and then realized I’m no pushover and turned back around. I returned to my game thinking, “Where are this kid’s parents? Now and for the last ten years of his life?”)

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It’s Not Easy, Avoiding Green

, , , , , , , , | Working | September 30, 2019

Cashier: “What’s that?” *picking up the artichoke I have picked out*

Me: “It’s an artichoke.”

Cashier: “Ew! I don’t like artichokes.”

Me: “Literally ten seconds ago you didn’t know what it was. How would you know you don’t like them?”

Cashier: “I…” *pauses to try to come up with a plausible excuse* “…I don’t like green food.”

(I didn’t comment further, but I was thinking, “You have issues with lettuce and lime jello?”)

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We’re Always Mobile Enough To Make Someone’s Day Better

, , , , , , | Right Working | September 20, 2019

(I am working a late shift at the grocery store and I have not been having a great day. I am tired, and hungry from not eating lunch, but I am still putting my best foot forward. I see an older gentleman roll up in one of our mobility scooters.)

Me: “Sir, are you ready to check out?”

Customer: “Why, yes!”

Me: *mustering what energy I can* “Well, come on down, sir! Don’t be shy! I’ll get you taken care of on the express lane!”

Customer: “All righty!”

Me: “Would you mind if I unload your basket for you, sir?”

Customer: “I’d love that! I can’t do it myself.”

(I smile as I unload his cart.)

Customer: “I can tell you’ve had a busy day, but I want you to know that I grew up with the founder of [Grocery Chain], and he would be very proud to see one of his employees treat someone so well. I know he’s not around anymore, but in his stead, I’ll say, ‘I’m proud of you.’”

Me: “That means a lot, sir.”

(I shut down my lane and followed him out to his car, loaded his groceries, and wished him well. He turned my day around!)

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Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 34  

, , , , , | Right | September 13, 2019

(Overheard in the next aisle:)

Customer: “Honey, get a shorter cable so we get faster Internet.”

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 33
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 32
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 31

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A Sample Of The Local Community

, , , , , | Healthy | September 9, 2019

My doctor wrote up an order for some blood work. On my way in, I passed a mailbox mounted to the wall outside.

It can’t be confused with anything but a mailbox. It even has a little red flag to raise for outgoing mail.

The nurse who drew my blood told me that the mail carrier just walked inside and delivered the mail. The box was unused. Then, one day someone suspected that things were being put in the box. There was no key. It had to be forced open. 

Yup. 

People were using it for a specimen dropbox. Blood, urine, and stool samples in whatever jar someone felt like putting them in had been put in a black metal box in full Oklahoma summer heat — normally over 100F. Anyone besides me thinking, “How many people tried to tear off the sign and rip away the tape to insert some new sample?”

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