(An elderl woman comes in and orders a sandwich)
Me: What kind of cheese would you like?
Customer: Are you trying to give me cancer? Cheese gives you cancer

(I have broken the screen on my phone and am calling to find a place to get it fixed. Since I live in such a small town, there isn’t anywhere I can get it done locally. I am calling on a Tuesday.)

Me: “Hello, I have a [phone] and need to get the screen replaced, and I was wondering if you could do so?”

Owner: “Sure, but I don’t have the parts to do so today, but I can order it for tomorrow.”

Me: “That’s fine. I live over an hour away, and couldn’t bring it in until Friday afternoon, if that’s all right.”

Owner: “Oh, I can definitely have the part by then. And we have time, if you would like to set up an appointment. I just need a name and phone number.”

Me: “Okay, I’m [Name] and my number is [number].”

Owner: “Can you repeat that number for me?”

Me: “Sure. It’s [number].”

Owner: “Okay, thanks. I’ll see you Friday.”

(Friday comes around and I drive to the shop.)

Me: “Hello, I talked to someone a few days ago about getting my phone fixed.”

Owner: “Yeah, you talked to me. Sorry, my supplier is out of stock for your phone, so I can’t get it replaced, and I don’t know when I’ll be able to get the part in. And I didn’t write your number down, so I couldn’t call you.”

(I live very close to a library and often go there to help out. The librarians all know and respect me. I am however, quite young.)

Librarian: “Hello, [My Name].”

Me: “Hello! Anything you need done today?”

Librarian: “Could you shelve the books?”

(I start shelving the books — a whole cart full — when this particular patron comes in.)

Patron: *looking at me* “You know, you really shouldn’t be messing with their books. They work hard to shelve them!”

Me: “I am shelving them. I volunteer here.”

Patron: “No, you don’t! You’re too young to be working here!”

Me: “I don’t work here. I volunteer here.”

(The patron keeps badgering me, so I ignore her and keep working. When I’m almost done with the cart, she comes back.)

Patron: “Why are you still messing with the books? You don’t work here!”

Me: “Fine! Ask me anything about this library; I’ll answer correctly.”

Patron: “How much for printing?”

Me: “A black and white page is 25 cents, a color text page is one dollar, and a color image is two dollars.”

Patron: “Anyone can do that.” *seeing a librarian come out of the back room* “Miss! Did you know this girl has been messing up your books for the past hour?”

Librarian: “[My Name]? No, she was shelving them. She volunteers here.”

Patron: *taken aback* “Well, I bet she shelved them wrong.”

Librarian: *doing a quick run through* “Nope. They are all here. [My Name], how about a cookie?”

(I march myself into the back room, get a cookie, and eat it in front of the awestruck patron.)

Patron: *huffs and angrily stomps out of the library*

Me: “By the way, those books are due back in two weeks!”