He’s Not All Aboard

| Tel Aviv, Israel | Extra Stupid, Geography, Top

Customer: “Hello, I’m calling to make sure that my flight back to Israel departs as scheduled, and that my request for a kosher meal has been approved.”

Me: “Sir, your ticket has already expired. Your flight was on May 15th.”

Customer: “What?!? That’s not possible! I am absolutely sure that my flight is on May 29th!”

Me: “Sir, have you perhaps changed your ticket’s return date?”

Customer: “No way! I would remember that! I’m not senile. My flight is on May 29th and I did not change my ticket!”

Me: “The computer says your flight was on May 15th. Could you look at the printout of your ticket and tell me what date appears there?”

Customer: “Oh, my God…”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “I forgot! I completely forgot! I am calling you from Netanya! I already am back in Israel!”

Have Ambiguity, Will Travel

| Fort Collins, CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Geography

Customer: “I need some maps.”

Me: “Maps of what?”

Customer: “Places.”

Me: “What kind of places?”

Customer: “Other places!”

This Trip Is Not Going To Pan-ama Out

| Texas, USA | Geography, Tourists/Travel

Customer: “I’ve never taken a cruise before, but I really want to try one.”

Me: “I’d be happy to help you plan your first cruise. Where would you like to visit?”

Customer: “I’m thinking a short, roundtrip, tropical cruise, to either the Bahamas or the Caribbean.”

Me: “Sounds great! We offer a wide variety of roundtrip Bahamas and Caribbean cruises. Which departure port do you have in mind?”

Customer: “Vancouver.”