She Shattered Glass; You Shattered Her Entitlement

, , | Right | December 22, 2018

(It’s half an hour until opening and I’m taking care of some work on my computer. I hear someone try the door and look up to see a woman trying desperately to open it. I shout that we’re closed but assume she doesn’t hear. The owner has told us to simply ignore a customer in this instance, so this what I do. However, the woman doesn’t take the hint, and after five minutes, she’s still there, only now she’s taken to tapping the glass, as well. It’s driving everyone mad, including the owner. I see the owner walk — rather stomp — to the door and unlock it.)

Customer: “Finally! Your door isn’t—“

Owner: “WE’RE CLOSED!” *pointing to the sign* “C-L-O-S-E-D! CLOSED!”

Customer: *taken aback* “How rude—“ *door slammed in her face*

(She runs away, and the owner goes back into her office, but that isn’t the end of it. The woman comes back with her husband who then tries the door, only more ferociously. With two tugs, he shatters the glass. The owner comes out again to see the woman trying to climb through the opening. Her husband is outside, looking incredibly sheepish.)

Customer: “I want to make a complaint, right now! Your door just cut me—“

Owner: “You’ve just broken my door! [Colleague], phone the police.”

(The woman and the owner screamed at each other until the police arrived. The woman pretended to not have known we were closed, but our CCTV records audio, and the police had to walk past the glass, with the closed sign still attached to a shard. No charges were made, but the husband offered to buy a new door, much to his wife’s protests of innocence.)


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Unfiltered Story #131061

, , | Unfiltered | December 4, 2018

A customer of mine told me today: “You’re so sweet and polite, it feels so nice torturing you”

That explains pretty much everything about customer service.

Different Places, Different Paces

, , , , | Right | November 16, 2018

(A customer calls from London because he needs some help checking in for his flight back to Athens.)

Customer: “Hello. I’m trying to check in online but the site is not working right.”

Me: “I’m afraid the online check-in service will be available four hours from now.”

Customer: “Is it four hours in Greek time or English time?”

Me: “You know, time doesn’t work like that.”

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Better Than Going To Po… Tula… End

, , , , | Right | October 30, 2018

(Overheard from a customer nearby:)

Customer: “Three for a flight to Oyygiinnee.”

(The last two syllables are the same as the word “agony.”)

Agent: “I’m sorry, where?”

Customer: “OYY… GIIN… NEE.”

Agent: “I’m sorry, could you spell or write that out?”

Customer: *writes*

Agent: “Okay, so, Eugene, Oregon?”

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The Kids Aren’t The Screaming Brats Here

, , | Right | October 20, 2018

(We run an adults-only holiday services. We’ve got many packages and advertise ourselves very clearly as such. No kids allowed. If people call in asking about bringing their children along, we usually give them the numbers of several family-friendly travel services that offer resorts near to ours. Most customers thank us for this. This one, however…)

Caller: “I want to book [holiday package] for [dates].”

Me: “How many people is this for?”

Caller: “Two adults and two children under the age of ten.”

Me: “Oh, sorry, none of our holiday packages accommodate children. For family holidays, can I recommend—”

Caller: “Shut up! We want to go to your resort!”

Me: “We offer adults-only destinations, so I’m afraid you will not be able to travel there with your children. There is a resort nearby that is very good and is family friendly, and I can give you the number for the travel agent—”

Caller: “SHUT UP! I KNOW THIS! I know it’s adults-only; that’s why we want to go!”

Me: “Then you understand you cannot bring your children along?”

Caller: “NO, YOU DUMB B****! That’s why we want to go! We want a nice quiet family holiday without other people’s screaming brats ruining it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, we cannot book children into this resort. The one nearby that does accept children is—”

Caller: “WELL, THEN, JUST BOOK ME AND MY HUSBAND! We’ll just turn up with the kids, as well! What would you do, then, huh? You’d have to let them stay! You couldn’t leave children on their own!”

Me: “The resort would simply not let you in, and would probably direct you to the family one nearby.”

Caller: “AND IF WE DON’T WANT TO GO THERE?! Huh? You going to throw us onto the next plane back home?”

Me: “Not personally, no, but they might.”

Caller: “Book it for me and my husband, then. We’ll just get the kids there ourselves.”

Me: “I’m not booking this for you. Our holidays are for people with no children to destinations where there will be no children.”

Caller: “Pfft, right. What kind of adult doesn’t have kids?”

Me: “Me, my husband, and most of the staff here.”

Caller: *hangs up*

(I left a note on the computer system stating to be very careful if that caller tried to book a holiday with us, since they’d threatened to drag their kids along, too. Seriously, though, who books their kids onto an international flight knowing they haven’t booked accommodation for them at the other end?!)

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