(I’m calling the travel agent’s customer service. The flight I booked from Dalian, China back to the U.S. has been put on hold due to an error.)

Travel Agent: “Hello, how may I help you today?”

Me: “I just booked a flight from China back to the U.S. for July 31st. I received an email about an error?”

Travel Agent: “Ah yes, Miss, I believe I know the one in question. You plan to leave Dalian at 1 PM on July 31st, is that correct?”

Me: “Yes.”

Travel Agent: “…and then you will transfer in Japan, arriving in Tokyo at 5 PM on the 31st, correct? You will then leave for the U.S. at 12 AM on the first of August… wait, and arrive in LA on the 31st of July? Ma’am, are you spending a year in Japan?”

Me: “What? Oh, no. You see, the plane will be crossing the international dateline, which is between Japan and the U.S., so while it will in fact be the first in Japan, it will still be the 31st in LA.”

Travel Agent: “What?” *long pause* “No, that can’t be right…”

Me: “…”

Travel Agent: “Wait a moment… wait a moment… one moment.”

(The ‘hold’ music comes on while he leaves the phone. When he comes back on, I hear laughing in the background, and he is obviously embarrassed.)

Travel Agent: “I am so sorry. You are perfectly right. Your ticket has been approved.”

Me: “Thank you so much for your help!”

Travel Agent: “So, what time is it in China?”

Me: “It’s morning on the 20th.”

Travel Agent: “Wow…”

Customer: “I would like to schedule a Grand Canyon white water rafting and whale watching trip, please.”

Me: “So you’d like a tour to go to the Grand Canyon and then a tour to the ocean for whale watching?”

Customer: “No, I want to see the whales at the Grand Canyon!”

(I work in a call center for a travel company that sells attraction passes. We often get calls from customers who buy the products without actually reading the website, so they have no idea how the products work.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “Excuse me, I am trying to get into [Attraction] and they are not letting me in. Tell them that I have your card so I can get in.”

(I get her card information so I can check the activity on her card.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but it seems that your card expired yesterday. You only purchased a three-day pass and all three days have been used.”

Customer: “I know that. Get me into [Attraction]!”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t do that. If your pass has already expired, you cannot use it.”

Customer: “So you’re telling me that if I used all three days on my pass, I can’t go to the attractions anymore?”

Me: “That is correct. If you bought a three-day pass and you used all three days, you will not be able to use the pass to get into any attractions.”

Customer: “Well, nobody told me that! I want a refund for not being able to get into [Attraction] today!”

(This call goes on for twenty more minutes. Needless to say, she did not receive a refund.)

(A customer calls on phone asking for directions.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [travel agency], how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I need to pick up my friend getting off the bus depot. Where are you located?

Me: “We are 1/2 mile east of [road], across the street from [sports bar].”

Customer: “What’s that? Could you spell that for me?”

(I proceed to spell the name of the establishment.)

Customer: “Oh, [sports bar]. You should have just said ‘boobies’! That would have been much faster.”

(I am selling an airline ticket to an elderly woman for her first trip on a plane.)

Me: “Would you prefer a window seat or an aisle seat on the plane?”

Customer: “Oh, I think I’ll take an aisle seat. I plan on getting my hair done before the trip and I don’t want it blowing around.”

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