(We have a policy in which we will beat our competitor’s prices by a dollar if a customer pays on that day. We can make no further discounts or deductions on the reduced price if a customer asks for that service, as if we do, we risk running a debit with the airlines. We publicize this far and wide, so we get customers approach us on a daily basis.)

Customer: “I’ve found this price to the USA, but I want you to price beat it for me.”

(This can involve a few minutes of work, as we have to research the price, and confirm it is still valid. In this case everything is fine, and I can proceed.)

Me: “Okay, well, we will match this price, and better it by $1.”

Customer: “No. No, I want more off. You will give me another 10% off the price, and waive all the fees.”

Me: ”I’m sorry, but that’s just something I can’t do. This is the lowest price you can get. It is already a sale price, and we’ve dropped the price again to beat our competitors. I can’t give you anything further. Dropping the fees will actually anger the airline, as that incorporates their fuel charges. ”

Customer: “No, you will. And I might buy more travel from you in the future.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t.”

Customer: “Give me a discount!”

(This goes on for more than 10 minutes with the customer insisting that I must give him a 10-20% discount.)

Me: “Sir, honestly, I have given you the best price in the country. I can get my manager to confirm this, if you would like?”

Customer: “No, I can tell your manager will just do what you say. This is because you aren’t married isn’t it?”

Me: “What?!”

Customer: “You’re not wearing any rings. You’re not married, as you obviously don’t know how to treat a man. If you give me this discount, it will prove that you are worthy for a husband!”

(Unbelievably, I kept my cool. He went away after 30 minutes, telling me what a hard and difficult woman I was. He still booked, and even then harassed my colleague for asking about the entry visas!)

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(It’s my first time traveling alone, and I make all the arrangements myself, triple-checking everything because I know I won’t have anyone I know in the country when I arrive. I’m assured that everything will go as planned. Once I’m off the plane though, I can’t seem to locate my hotel, and it does not appear on any maps, nor has anyone I speak to heard of it. Hysterical because now I’m penniless and stranded halfway round the world, I finally get directions from a different hotel, who informs me the one I’m looking for has changed their name. Understandably angry, I call the agency.)

Me: “Why was I not informed that the hotel’s name had changed? That’s kind of important!”

Agent: “Are you unhappy with the service we provided?”

Me: “Yes, I’m unhappy! I was wandering around Dublin with my suitcase for three hours, trying to find somewhere that doesn’t exist!”

Agent: “Was your reservation to your liking when you got there?”

Me: “Yes, eventually. My point is—”

Agent: “Then there’s nothing I can do. Have a nice day.”

(They hung up on me, without even apologizing for their mistake.)

(We are looking at a few days in Paris. Not knowing much about the place, I spend a few minutes the day before flicking through a travel brochure.)

Me: “Hi, we are looking for two nights in Paris. Can you tell us some options, please?”

Saleswoman: *very slowly* ” Er…yeah, sure. So here is the first hotel…” *begins reading from the screen, word for word* “…then there is this hotel…” *again word for word off the website*

Me: “Okay, well, where are they?”

Saleswoman: *starts reciting the website again*

Me: “No, no, I know what it says. I read that myself. But how far is it across the river? Is that nearer the opera district?”

Saleswoman: *reading the webpage to herself* “It doesn’t say.”

Me: “Do you know anything about the areas? Can you recommend where to look?”

Saleswoman: *pointing to the 1″ by 1″ picture* “Well, that looks okay…”

(Getting nowhere fast, we gave up. I have no idea what use is someone whose sole job is to read descriptions.)

Me: “Hi. We are looking for a short break in Paris, but don’t know where. What can you recommend?”

Travel Agent: “Well, err, I…” *opens the website* “Well, there are lots of hotels we cover.”

Me: “Yes, we did see the website, but never having been there before, some basic idea of English speaking areas and what there is to do would be a great help.”

Travel Agent: “Well…” *opens the first page* “…this looks nice.” *reads straight from the site* “—Is in walking distance of the ‘arc duh tiamp.'”

Me: “Okay, again we did see the website, but as a travel agent can you give us any more information?”

Travel Agent: “Uh…” *reading again from the website* “It has a bar and…”

Me: “Okay, thanks. I think we will take a look ourselves.             ”

Travel Agent: *visibly relieved* “If I can help you any more, please just ask. Oh, and ask for my name when you want to book.”

(We didn’t return, and ended up booking ourselves. We had a great time and paid less than if we booked through them.)

(I work in a travel agency and we handle a lot of rental car bookings. Note: if you book a car early, and want to change something about the booking, the rate for the car will change. This exchange takes place with a customer who has booked a car about three months prior:)

Customer: “I’d like to change my booking to pick the car up a day earlier.”

Me: “I’d be happy to take care of that.” *pulls up new booking info* “Your new rate is going to be  [several hundred dollars more].”

Customer: “For that much, I could just go buy a car. The new rate is supposed to only be $30 dollars more for an extra day.”

Me: “That’s not how it works. You booked this three months ago and that rate isn’t available anymore. That extra day rate is if you return it a day later, not if you pick it up a day earlier.”

Customer: “Can’t you just go back to then and re-book it for me?”

Me: “You want me to travel back to March and book this for you again?”

Customer:“Yes.”

Me: “I can’t travel through time to re-book this for you. I’m sorry. If you want to change it—”

Customer: “—well never mind. I’ll just take care of it myself.” *storms out of the office*