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Baggage Baggage On The Commuter Train

, , , , , , | Friendly | March 9, 2023

I was walking through this very long train to position myself for the optimal point to disembark, so I went through multiple interconnecting doors between carriages.

This was decades ago before interconnecting doors slid apart just by pressing a button, and on this train, it was a hinged door you had to push. Usually, these hinged doors would open easily, but sometimes they’d stick a bit.

With one door, I turned the handle and pushed, but there was some friction so I had to push a bit harder to open it. 

When I turned round to close it, I noticed a carrier bag full of shopping there, and I realised that this was what caused the friction. And someone sitting in the seat next to the door was glaring at me. 

Obviously, one of the stupidest places to leave a bag is in front of a door, so I just stared back at him for two seconds, silently closed the door, and sat down. I looked up a few seconds later, and the man was still glaring at me. I stared back for another couple of seconds and resumed reading my paper but not before noticing that he’d reinstated the bag in front of the door.

Thirty seconds later, a woman came through the door and apologised to the man for having pushed his shopping aside, but the man just silently glared back at her, and again, he put the bag in front of the door. He was also still glaring at me.

I stopped taking any notice until about ten minutes later. I looked up and saw the man picking the bag up while someone was turning the handle, and after that person came through, he put his bag in front of the door again.

This was a busy commuter train in South London, so the man must have been doing this continually throughout the journey — hearing the door handle, picking up his bag, and then putting it back again — instead of putting it in the overhead rack or between his legs like any normal person.

“Come On, Dover! Move Your Bloomin’ A**e!”

, , , , , , , | Right | February 17, 2023

I am on vacation in France. I am attempting to board the RER (Réseau Express Régional). A much older man is standing in the doorway to the train, blocking it. He is on his phone. The train car is mostly empty.

Me: “S’il vous plait, monsieur, allez-vous.”

No response, not even a twitch.

Me: “Allez-vous, monsieur, vous-etez dans la porte!”

No response.

There is a line behind me. Maybe he doesn’t speak French?

Me: “Please move, sir.”

No response.

The door chimes, and I’ve had it.

Me: “Move your a**! The door is closing!”

No response. The door closed on my rear, pushing me forward. I stumbled into the man, knocking him to the floor.

I found a seat and sat in it to take care of my butt. The man proved he spoke French by calling the transit police.

They questioned the man and me, and then they let me go with a card to present to a doctor for medical expenses if I wanted to have my butt checked out. The man was given a fine for blocking the door.

So Much For The Easy Rider

, , , , , | Working | February 14, 2023

I’m nineteen. We’ve just had a really busy time at my work, and we’ve all been rewarded with a cash bonus and some extra paid holiday. Ker-ching!

I decided to visit my parents and got a train early on my newly free Friday. It was very busy, but the First Class section was completely empty. Since I was flush with cash, I decided to sit there and pay the £20 upgrade cost.

I sat down at a table, put my ticket and a £20 note on it, and settled down for three hours of dozing. As the train pulled out of the station, the tea trolley guy appeared. The First Class upgrade included a free cup of tea, so when he came up to me, I smiled at him and started to ask for one.

Trolley Guy: “NO! Tea and coffee are only for legitimate First Class people.”

Me: “Oh, I thought it was included in the upgrade?”

Trolley Guy: “Don’t be rude to me! It’s only for people who have paid for First Class!”

Me: “Oh, never mind, then. The guard hasn’t taken my money yet. I’ll catch you on your way back after I’ve bought the upgrade.”

Trolley Guy: “Freeloader. You disgust me. Rude!

I was a bit confused, but okay, there had been a misunderstanding, and I was upgrading for a seat and leg room and quiet, not for a £20 cup of tea, so never mind.

The guard appeared.

Guard: “This area is for First Class passengers only.”

Me: “Yes, I’d like to upgrade, please. Here’s my ticket and my £20.”

I pointed at both on the table.

Guard: “You can’t just sit here, you know. The train might be busy, but this carriage is for First Class only.”

Me: “One upgrade to First Class, please!” *Hands him the £20*

Guard: “I could make you move to Standard Class, you know. You’re not entitled to sit here.”

Me: “I’d like to upgrade to First Class, please. Here’s my £20.”

Guard: “Fine, then. Fine.”

He handed me my upgrade ticket and snatched my £20.

The trolley guy appeared.

Trolley Guy: “Where did you get that upgrade ticket from?”

Me: “I bought it from the guard. I’d like a cup of tea, please.”

Trolley Guy: No. You’re rude.”

We reached the next station. The train was now full to bursting, and a bunch of people piled into First Class. The guard appeared and asked them for their tickets.

New People: “There’s no space, so we’re sitting here and not paying you for it.”

Guard: “That’s fine. I understand.”

Me: “Hi there! I’d like my money back. If others aren’t paying, neither should I, to be honest.”

Guard: *Shouting* “THIS BOY IS INSISTING THAT THE REST OF YOU LEAVE AND STAND IN SECOND CLASS.” *Leaves*

Everyone else looked like they could kill me.

Trolley Guy: “Any free tea or coffee for people in here?”

Me: “I’d like a cup of tea, please.”

Trolley Guy: “LEGITIMATE CUSTOMERS ONLY! You’re so rude!

He then served everyone else. I never got my cup of tea.

I did, however, complain to the train company after I arrived home. I got a cash refund for my fare, two First Class upgrade vouchers, and an apology.

What I never got was any explanation of what I did to provoke this nonsense, except for being only nineteen… and for not being white.

Up To Your Ears In Thoughtfulness

, , , , , , | Friendly | February 2, 2023

I used to date an autistic girl, and we were having a fairly good time together. To test our live-together resolve, we went on holiday around Northern Italy.

The first few days around the smaller cities were fine, but when we got to Milan and had to use the metro after a long day of walking, things went downhill fast. The crowds, noises, smell, and tiredness compounded together and made her start having a meltdown while on the train, and with nowhere quieter and calmer to take her, both of us were stuck on that noisy train.

Suddenly, I noticed a guy wearing big headphones gesturing at me as he dramatically removed them, and I looked at him.

Guy: “Hey, does she need any help? Anything I can do?”

Me: “I wish there was something to be done here — she’s tired and the noise bothers her — but, y’know, we’re here and still have four stops to go.”

Guy: “Would giving her my headphones help? They’re noise-cancelling.”

Me: “Uh… are you sure?”

Guy: *Dismissive* “I’m going to the end of the line, and I was just listening to music, anyway. I’ll live.”

I reluctantly accepted his offer, taking his headphones and giving them to my girlfriend. She put them on, and soon enough, she calmed down enough to sit down on a seat and not on the floor, and she got off the train more cheerily than she had boarded. I quickly thanked the guy and then left.

We eventually broke up, but I will never forget the time a random stranger offered to lend away his headphones to soothe a distressed young woman.

Perils Of The Night Tube

, , , , , , , , , | Right | January 19, 2023

It’s about 3:00 am, and I am on a night tube (metro) train home. I have been working a long weekend shift, but everyone else is out partying, so I think the train driver and I are the only ones on the train not drunk.

I hear the train driver say the following over the speakers for about a minute.

Train Driver: “Doors are closing. Please stand away from the closing doors.”

Train Driver: “I said the doors are closing! The doors will not close if you are in the way.”

I look around to check my carriage, but no one is blocking the doors; it must be a passenger somewhere else on the train.

Train Driver: “The train can’t move unless you move away from the doors.”

The doors finally close.

Train Driver: “Thank you to the passenger that pushed them out of the train.”


This story is part of our Editors’-Favorite-Stories-Of-2023-(so far!) roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

The Not Always Right 2023 Mid-Year Retrospective: 23 Top-Voted Stories

 

The Not Always Right 2023 Mid-Year Retrospective: The Top 23 Feel-Good Stories!

 

The Not Always Right 2023 Mid-Year Retrospective: 23 Top-Voted Stories (Other Categories)

 

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