Trained To Take Trains From High-Vis Staff

, , , , , | Right | June 10, 2017

(I am a contract truck driver doing short haul. This means I catch a train to where the truck is, drive it and then catch a train to the next job or home. I have a large bag of essentials and a small folding bike with me, but above all I am wearing a hi-vis jacket. I catch a LOT of trains. I have just dropped off a truck at Gatwick Airport and am standing perusing the departure board for the trains when someone comes and taps me on the shoulder.)

American Lady: “Excuse me, can you tell me where the train to Victoria goes from?”

Me: “Erm… From Platform 4 or 5, they alternate. Take the lift over there and listen to the announcements.”

(I turned back and work out my own train was going in 20 minutes from Platform 7. As I was about to head there another couple approached me with the same question. I directed them, too… and the next… and the next. At one point I had a small queue. At no point did anyone question that I had a bike and bag with me. They just saw the hi-vis and made the assumption. After 15 minutes I made my escape and caught my own train.)

In A Day’s Daze

| Norway | Right | March 7, 2017

(We sell season tickets which last for 30 days. We always write the last day they can use their card before they need to fill it again. Not everyone agrees on the date that is written on.)

Customer: “Wait! It’s October 29th today. Shouldn’t it be 29th of November?”

Me: “You pay for 30 days, you get 30 days, ma’am. October has 31 days. If you count the day you validated your card, then you have a valid card to the 27th of November.”

Customer: “It makes no sense!”

(This is one of the mild cases. I often have to bring up the calendar to count the days they have paid for and received. Some customers accuse me of stealing two of the days they have a “right” to get.)

Not Very Sheepish

| Wales, UK | Right | December 15, 2016

(I work in a train station for a very rural line. Trains are two hourly, which city visitors don’t always understand.)

Customer: “Hi! When’s the next train to [Major English Hub Station]?”

Me: “The next one’s at 16:56; about half an hour.”

Customer: “Really? Did I just miss one? Bummer.”

Me: “No sir, the last one was 14:55, approximately one hour and a half ago.”

Customer: “Very funny!”

Me: “Sir, I’m serious. This is a rural line. We have two hourly trains. Look!” *points to massive timetable poster next to where he is standing*

Customer: “Bloody h***! You just got sheep around here or what?”

Next Customer In Line: *an elderly local legend* “Yep, now baaaaaa-gger off if you’re not buying tickets! I’ve got a gammy knee and it’ll take me that half hour to walk around to the platform!”

Me: *trying not to laugh*

Doesn’t Know What He Is Talking Aboot

| Tokyo, Japan | Related | November 1, 2016

(My husband and I are walking through the train station when I see a poster advertising “Happy Canada Style” newly built houses for sale.)

Me: “What exactly does “Canada Style” mean?”

Husband: “I really don’t know…”

Me: “Is it like really big? I thought that was more ‘American style.’”

Husband: “Probably they have maple syrup running from every tap.”

Me: “…”

Husband: “And there’s a moose parked in the driveway.”

(I later told this to my brother and his first impression was “They probably have a stuffed moose head in every room.” Great minds think alike.)

Never Judge A Maiden By It’s Cover

| Ruhr Area, Germany | Friendly | June 14, 2016

(I’m waiting for my train at the station, sitting between two older men. Man #1 appears to be in his late 50s, Man #2 is a well-dressed gentleman around 70. I’m on my way to a small local metal festival, so I’m wearing camo pants and a band shirt and carrying around a huge backpack.)

Man #1: *looking at me curiously* “Are you going to [City]?”

Me: “No, I’m actually going to [Other City] to attend a small festival. What’s going on in [City]?”

Man #1: “Oh, it’s [Bigger Local Festival] this weekend. Iron Maiden is the headliner.”

Man #2: *perking up*Iron Maiden, you say? That would be exactly my kind of music!”

(Never judge a book by its cover, I guess!)

Page 3/1212345...Last