Fifty Cents Higher

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Friendly | September 14, 2015

(I’m about 17 at the time and I’m waiting with a couple of friends for some of our other friends after school at a train/bus station so we can go hang out at an arcade when a local stoner who most us know wanders up to us.)

Stoner: “Heeeey man, do you have, like, 50 cents you could spare?”

Me: “I think so”

(My friends ignore him but I look through my coins and see that I have no 50s so I give him $2, thinking it is a bus fare.)

Stoner: “Thanks, girly, you have good karma.”

(He then wanders off towards town.)

Me: “Ummm, okie dokie, then.”

Friend #1: “[My Name], I think you just gave him drug money.”

Me: “Wait, what! It was only $2! How much could he possibly get with $2?”

Friend #2: “You’d be surprised.”

Me: “Well, s***.”

He’s Got A Ticket To Hide

| Vienna, Austria | Friendly | August 31, 2015

(I have had strangers asking me for some spare change every single day when commuting. At first, I would always give some money I had to spare, but when people turned extremely rude and organised beggar-rings formed, I stopped doing so. I have a change of heart one day.)

Stranger: “Hey, you got some change? I only lack 60 cents for my train ticket. Only 60 cents, mister, please!”

(He is standing next to the ticket machines, so I give him the benefit of the doubt.)

Me: *hands him one Euro* “There you go…”

(I then go to a local bakery to grab a bite. When I return to the train station 15 minutes later, I see the same guy again, doing his spiel.)

Stranger: *walking up to random people* “Hey, man, I lack just 60 cents for my train ticket… You can spare 60 cents, can´t you?”

(He then sees me. His eyes are locked on me. I can see gears moving in his brain. Then, suddenly:)

Stranger: *to me* “Hey man, you can spare 60 cents. I need 60 cents for my train ticket. Please, I really need that ticket!”

Me: *speechless*

Causing A Butter-Face

| Dublin, Ireland | Friendly | June 20, 2015

(I commute on the trains everyday. I often notice a homeless man begging at one of the train stations. One very busy day I see a lady hand the homeless man a sandwich bought in the train station shop. He thanks her as she leaves, then opens the package to see what is in it and shouts:)

Homeless Man: “What?! No f***** butter?!”

The Oregon Fail, Part 3

| Germany | Right | March 5, 2015

(I am in Germany on a school trip. I have never been before, nor do I speak German. I am currently with two of my friends talking about going out to dinner on the train platform.)

(A middle-aged man hurries up to me.)

Man: “Guten tag!”

Me: “…guten tag.”

Man: *over enunciating* “Do. You. Speak. English?”

Me: “…yeah?”

Man: “Oh, thank god. Everyone’s so unhelpful around here! How do I get from [rattles off a number of places in quick succession].”

Me: “I’m sorry…”

Man: *cutting me off angrily* “I thought you said you spoke English!”

Me: “I do. I just don’t know any of those places.”

Man: “Why the h*** not?!”

Me:” I’m from Oregon…”

Related:
The Oregon Fail, Part 2
From NotAlwaysRelated:
The Oregon Fail

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A Long Time Saving For That Bus Ticket

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Friendly | December 24, 2014

(It is October. I’m heading home for Thanksgiving and have a four hour wait between trains.)

Man: “Excuse me, do you have any change?”

Me: “No, sorry.”

Man: “See, I work on a farm and I need to get back. My bag was stolen and I’m $2 short for a bus ticket.”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t carry cash when I’m travelling.”

(Fast forward to December when I’m on my way home for winter break.)

Man: “Excuse me, do you have any change?”

Me: “No, sorry.”

Man: “See, I work on a farm and I need to get back. My bag was stolen and I’m $2 short for a bus ticket.”

Me: “”Sorry, I don’t carry cash when I’m travelling.

(And again in February when I’m going home for reading week:)

Man: “Excuse me, do you have any change?”

Me: “No, sorry.”

Man: “See, I work on a farm and I need to get back. My bag was stolen and I’m $2 short for a bus ticket.”

Me: “Buddy, you’ve told me the exact same story word for word twice in the past six months so I’m going to give you the same response I gave you last time word for word: Sorry, I don’t carry cash when I travel.”

(This happened every time I was in that train station for my four years of university regardless of time of year: always the same guy, always the same story word for word.)

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