An Un-Fee-sible Request

| Working | August 18, 2016

(I work at a radio station, and we’re broadcasting live from the local trade show. I’ve been given a media pass by the organizers to allow me access. I show up at the main entrance, but the clerk stops me.)

Clerk: “$5, please.”

Me: “What for?”

Clerk: “That’s the admission fee.”

Me: “Oh, sorry. I forgot to show you this.” *I show him my media pass*

Clerk: “Doesn’t matter. $5. Everybody pays.”

Me: “I don’t need to pay. I’m with the radio station. We’re broadcasting live from the show today. This has all been set up with the organizers. They gave me this—” *I again show my media pass* “—so I don’t have to pay.”

Clerk: “We’ll see about that.”

(He gets on his radio and calls one of the organizers to the front. The organizer comes around the corner, sees me at the gate, and waves me in. I go to head in, but the clerk stops me and heads off to talk to the organizer. They begin to have a very heated discussion. Finally, the clerk comes back.)

Clerk: “FINE. You don’t have to pay.”

Me: “Thank you.”

Clerk: *with a smug grin* “BUT you’ve been disqualified for the door prizes!”

Me: “Fine by me.”

(Later that day, I’m interviewing the organizer live on the air. Before we go live, we have this discussion.)

Me: “I’m guessing you didn’t tell that clerk that, because the station donated the door prizes, I’m already disqualified.”

Organizer: “That is correct.”

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Caught Red Quartz Handed

| Right | August 20, 2013

(I run a precious gems and minerals booth at a trade show. A customer walks up to me and does some looking around first.)

Customer: “Do you buy things?”

Me: “Sometimes. Is it minerals?”

Customer: “Sorta, yeah.”

(The customer takes out a palm sized velvet pouch.)

Customer: “I have a friend that cuts rocks and does things to them. I had him make me a set of ruby quartz flat gems and paint them with gold leaf. They’re kinda rare, and I was hoping to get $90 for them.”

Me: “That depends…”

(I hold out my hand for the bag. Instead he opens it, and pours out a couple of red glass, aka ‘fused quartz’ flat facet gems with runes on them in gold color paint. One has a chip in corner.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but these are in the trade wholesale catalogs in five colors, come with a booklet, and retail for $20. Without the book and damaged, best I could hope to get is $5, so that means I won’t pay you that much.”

Customer: “How dare you! Bad karma ON YOU! My friend spent TWO WEEKS cutting and carving these!”

(I spot another vendor across from me, talking to security.)

Vendor Across From Me: “Yeah, that’s the guy!”

Customer: *Oh, s***!”

(The customer took off, leaving the bag. Security got him before he got out the door. If he had gone all the way around my booth, he would have seen that I have full sets, in all five colors for sale, with the booklet, for less than $20. Bad karma indeed.)

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