(It is Christmas Eve, at about eight pm. I work in the video games section.)

Customer: “Finally! We’ve been here for half a f****** hour! Don’t you a**-holes think you could hurry up and actually let us get home to our families!”

(I have been there all day and am technically there by choice as we are all going to go to see a new movie after closing up, not to mention I have been informed I am not being kept on after the season ends, so I am not in the mood to deal with any of her attitude. I actually have Asperger’s Syndrome, so I was a bit manipulative with the situation.)

Me: “I-I’m s-s-s-sorry ma’am… I… I’m Autistic and I… I’m t-t-t-tying my be-be-best ta get ta e-e-e-very customer as fa-fa-fast as I can.”

Customer: “Oh… oh, I am so sorry… We’d like [Video Game], please.”

(Now I’m not the most proud of using my autism for ‘evil,’ but it saved me from having to deal with a woman that clearly didn’t understand that Christmas Eve happened to be a busy day at a toy store.)

(I work at a toy store that sells three-foot-tall Batman figures. I am reorganizing the aisles and as I finish with one, I move on to the next. There is a little girl, probably two years old, standing there holding one of the aforementioned Batman figures — which is barely bigger than she is — in a hug. She notices me coming around the corner and says this:)

Little Girl: “This is my baby!”

Me: “Batman’s your baby?”

Little Girl: “Yes!”

(Easily one of the cutest moments I’ve ever seen in that store.)

(I am in the toy section of a local department store, looking for a birthday present for my niece. As I’m browsing the shelves, a mother and her son come to look at the toys, as well. The little boy is about four or five, and he catches sight of an action figure on the shelf.)

Little Boy: *sigh* “I used to play with that. When I was little.”

(His mother and I exchanged amused looks before he moved onto another aisle.)

(We have the card readers that you can tap your card on, or use a peer-to-peer payment app from your smartphone.)

Customer: *noticing card reader* “Oh! Does [Payment App] work on this?”

Me: “It works most of the time.”

Customer: *successfully uses card reader* “Ooooh! That was amazing. It gave me the tingles. Was it good for you?”

Me: *moves back from counter* “Thanks for coming in. Have a great day.”

(I work in a toy store and, as expected, kids are almost always in the store. The store is fairly small, and there are no aisles. As this happens, there are a few kids around.)

Me: “Hey, welcome to [Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I’ve come to look for something for my daughter.”

(I go and I show him where the girls’ section is. He sees a box he likes, and while talking about it and asking about it, multiple times he curses, all in the matter of half a minute or so.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir. I don’t mean to be rude, but could you please refrain from cursing as there are children around?”

Customer: “Okay, and don’t correct me again.”

(He grabs the box and heads over to the register, where I ring him out. I offer him our rewards card.)

Customer: “Yeah, no, I don’t want it. I really don’t want to be around you.”

(I am mildly offended, but complete the transaction quickly. The customer walks out. At this point, I usually say things like, “have a good one,” or whatever, but he is definitely in a bad mood. A minute after, my manager points out that it was good of me to ask him to refrain from cursing, but due to my attention issues, I didn’t realize that I had gone on for about fifteen seconds about not cursing, which in my head felt like I said it once. He says to consider it a learning experience, and tells me that it isn’t really my fault that the guy reacted so rudely. I feel like crap automatically, and hope the customer will come back in so I can apologize to him.)

Me: *answers the phone with usual greeting of place and name* “How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hey, uh, [My Name], f*** you. We clear?”

(I fall dead silent out of shock and hang up, walking towards the back room where I tell my manager what just happened.)

Manager: “What an a**hole.”

(Let’s just say I’m not sorry anymore.)