(I work at a toy store. We are currently offering a free gift with any purchase of $50 or more. The gift is a little figure from a cartoon series. It is red with a hood, and is one of the villains of the series.)

Me: “And with your purchase today, you get this item absolutely free!”

Customer: “Do you have another one?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can only give you one.”

Customer: “No, do you have a different figure?”

Me: “I’m sorry, she’s the only one we’re giving as a gift with purchase.”

Customer: “We don’t want it. It looks too much like the devil. You see, we’re Christians.”

Me: “Okay…”

(After much deliberation between the customer and his wife, they ended up taking the gift anyway.)

(I’m the manager on duty at a custom toy store chain. One of my newer staff members is talking with a guest and waves me over.)

Guest: “I just bought two of [Stuffed Dog Toy] the other day, but I realized when I got home that the tag on the collar is missing.”

(The guest noticeably does not have the defective toy in question on her.)

Me: “Oh, no. I’m sorry that happened. If you bring the defective one back, I’ll be happy to do an exchange!”

Guest: *shoots me a glare* “I have to bring it back?!”

Me: “Well, yes. I need to have the defective one before we give you a new one.”

(The guest briskly walks out to her waiting husband, I overhear her saying in a huff, “He has to see it.” Thinking that’s the end of that strange interaction, I go about my business. Later the guest returns with just the receipt. Still no toy dog.)

Guest: “I found it; give me my replacements!”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, the receipt isn’t the issue. I need the toy back to do anything for you.”

Guest: “This is ridiculous; I’m from overseas! It’s just a tag!”

Me: “I don’t have the ability to just give you a tag. I would need to exchange the whole toy.”

Guest: “This is ridiculous! It’s bad customer service! If I have to make another trip, then it’s just going to be for my money back!”

Me: “Sorry you feel that way.”

(The guest storms out, screaming about how terrible the service is.)

Employee: “In what country would she have just gotten a new one, just because she said it’s broken?”

(I am around seven and have just moved to our family’s “nest,” a few blocks of the city housing several relative’s families. I’m not actually related to any of them; they are all stepfamily. There are several cousins near my age, mostly boys. Since I’m a girl, the only girl among them is really looking forward to meeting me because none of the boys want to play with girl toys, so I am greeted with a ton of girl toys, half of them newly bought. Unfortunately, what they didn’t know was that I am a huge tomboy, so we take the toys back to the store. That girl cousin’s mom, my aunt, tags along with us because it’s all her money.)

Aunt: “Why can’t you be normal and play with girl toys?!”

Me: “Girl toys are yuck!”

Aunt: “Then who is my daughter going to play with?”

Mom: “Who is she playing with now?”

Aunt: “The adults, sometimes classmates.”

Mom: “Look. I’m sorry, but I can’t control what my kid likes.”

Aunt: “She isn’t even your kid!”

Mom: “She’s my husband’s kid, therefore mine!”

(I run off with dad to find toys I like. I only remember my aunt simply leaving before we get back. After that, she tries her best to have her daughter not be really a part of the nest and always has an excuse not to bring her around, even on holidays. This goes on until we are in our teens. My cousin suddenly appears at our apartment door. The first thing we notice is her very short hair.)

Cousin: “I had a fight with Mom.”

Dad: “What happened?”

Cousin: “I got my hair like this.”

Dad: “Oh, I see.”

Cousin: “My mom pushes too many girly things on me! I hate it!” *to me* “I know I haven’t really played with you nor any of the boys before, but perhaps we could find something we both like? My mom’s an idiot. I could have played with all our cousins if she didn’t teach me to be girly all my life.”

(At my store, we have a policy where if a toy doesn’t have a bag, we have to check the receipt to make sure it was bought. At the time, I was standing at the front of the store for reasons such as this when I see a family of three walking out with a doll that didn’t have a bag.)

Me: “Excuse me! Sorry, but do you mind if I see the receipt for your doll?”

Male Customer: *who had been on the phone until this point* “Look, we bought it, all right? It’s fine.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but it’s policy that I have to make sure the doll is paid for.”

Female Customer: “Of course. Don’t worry.”

(She is looking for it, but can’t find it. I decide to ask the person at the register through our walkie-talkies. She affirms that it had been bought, but it was in a bag when she sold it.)

Me: “Okay, you’re good—”

Male Customer: “You just accused us of stealing a d*** doll! How dare you! I have the bag right here and everything!” *pulls out a crumpled bag that he had shoved in his pocket*

Me: “You guys can go now; I’m sorry about the hold-up.”

Male Customer: “No! I am not giving you my business anymore!”

(He snatches the doll from his daughter, who begins to cry, and he returns it, and then comes back with my manager.)

Male Customer: “She’s the one who tried to interrogate my daughter about her doll! I demand she is fired right now!”

Manager: “I am not about to fire my employee because you got upset about nothing. Now, if you aren’t going to buy anything else, then leave.”

(The male customer stormed out, still fuming and scolding his daughter for crying. The woman just apologized and left after them.)

A few years ago, my brother went Christmas shopping with some high school classmates, buying toys for a charity organization. He picked up a Star Wars action figure from the shelf only to have an adult woman rip it out of his hands, screeching, “THAT’S THE ONE I NEED! IT’S MINE!” as she ran off.

My brother simply turned back to the shelf and picked up an identical action figure from the dozens still on the shelf. Why she couldn’t get one of those was beyond him.