This happened somewhere between 2015 and 2020. I worked for a somewhat small municipality. Our “town hall” is spread out over mostly two buildings right next door to one another. One of the departments in the other building processed U.S. Passport applications as one of its services.

On this day, we had just experienced a snowstorm, dropping around six to twelve inches of snow overnight. Our official snow policy was if school is delayed or canceled, employees may also use that same amount of time (up to two hours) without penalty to ensure they get to work safely.

Some employees like to use the whole allotted time (for various reasons: clearing driveways, young kids in school, needing to arrange care, living in smaller towns with poorly maintained roads, etc.), while others still try to get in on time while being safe on the roads, knowing they don’t have to rush. When this does happen, notices are sent out to all the local TV and radio stations of the delay.

Town Hall opens at 8:00 am. I don’t remember if school had a two-hour delay or was canceled, but about half the employees weren’t in right at 8:00 am. I, myself, arrived at around 8:15 am, needing extra time for clearing off my car and the area around it as well as driving 10-15 mph under the speed limit due to the icy and not fully-plowed roads.

As I walked into the building, I saw a resident who looked familiar, angrily complaining to my manager about something before storming off into the parking lot. Curious, I asked what had happened in the fifteen minutes the building had been open.

The resident had an upcoming international trip planned and needed to renew the passports for his whole family, so he showed up next door to that department at 8:00 am only to find the doors were locked because nobody was in at the time.

He stomped over to our building to see if anyone was in, since we were supposed to open at 8:00 am, so he was furious as to why nobody was in next door.

He found my manager, screamed at her for a bit while she stood there with a shocked expression, but quietly allowed him to rant uninterrupted. She explained that due to the storm, some employees were taking a little extra time to get into the offices safely, but they should all be in soon. She also reminded him that passport applications don’t begin until 9:00 am (this is posted on the website and on the door with the hours).

Unsatisfied, the resident demanded, “Don’t you know who I am?!” This is where it all clicked as to why he looked familiar; he was the owner of a chain of local car dealerships, famous for his breed-specific dogs in their commercials. Knowing this, my manager (typically not one to get flustered at angry customers) cheerfully answered, “Yes! You’re [Full Name]!”

Thrown off a bit, he then stormed off into the parking lot, which was when I passed him.

The passport department employees did show up within the hour and were able to process his family’s applications quickly. Surprisingly, he came back to our building to apologize for his behavior earlier, which my manager dismissed as unnecessary, but she thanked him. I had several interactions with him after that incident, and he was never anything but polite and personable those other times, so I chalked it up to travel and weather-related stress.

I told my mother what he had said to my manager (“Don’t you know who I am?!”). And now, years later, whenever his commercials come on and we’re in the same room, she always blurts out, “I know who he is!”

I work in the Tax Collector’s department for a municipality. For some reason, a lot of residents call us as if we are the switchboard operator. I try to keep a basic knowledge of some things going on, but for anything in more detail, I pass them on to the correct department.

Monday of this week was a holiday, and our offices were closed. Understandably, some residents are unsure if their trash will be picked up on the same day as a normal week or if it will be delayed because of the holiday. The major holidays usually cause a delay, but not the minor ones, like this week’s. According to the official calendar, this week is a normal week with no delay.

A resident calls us on the phone on Wednesday.

Me: “Collector’s Office, can I help you?”

Resident: “Hi. I know you guys had the day off on Monday because of the holiday. I was wondering what day my trash would be picked up. I live at [address]. Is there a delay because of the holiday?”

Me: “I’m not sure, but I know the calendar is online. Let me check that for you.” *Looks online* “Okay, so the calendar and the website both say that there is no delay this week. This is a normal week for trash pickup.”

Resident: “Okay, so I should put my trash out the day after I normally do?”

Me: “No. There is no delay. This is a normal week. Put your trash out on the normal day.”

Resident: “But there was a holiday this week.”

Me: “Right, but that did not affect the trash schedule. It is a normal week.”

Resident: “So, because of the Monday holiday, I’ll put my trash out the day after my day.”

Me: “No. Put your trash out on the same day that you do every week. There is not a delay because of the holiday.”

Resident: “So, what day should I put my trash out?”

Me: “What day do you normally put it out?

Resident: “Thursday.”

Me: “Then put your trash out tomorrow, on Thursday.”

Resident: “Shouldn’t I put it out on Friday because of the holiday?”

Me: “No. There is no delay this week. Put your trash out on Thursday.”

Resident: “Okay. I’ll put my trash out on Thursday. Thank you!” *Hangs up*

Thursday comes around, and the resident calls back.

Me: “Collector’s Office, can I help you?”

Resident: “Hi, I called yesterday, and I asked what day I should put my trash out. I live at [address]. They told me there was a delay, so I was going to put my trash out tomorrow, but the trash truck just came by. What’s going on?”

Me: “That was me you spoke to yesterday. I told you there was no delay and to put your trash out on your normal day.”

Resident: “Right. Normally, for a holiday, I would put it out on Friday.”

Me: “Okay, but I told you there was no delay this week because of the holiday. I told you to put your trash out on the same day you normally do every week.”

Resident: “My day is Thursday, so for a normal holiday, I put my trash out on Friday.”

Me: “Yes, but I told you there was no delay. I told you to put your trash out on Thursday.”

Resident: “But because of the holiday, I would normally put it out on Friday.”

Me: “That’s not a normal week, though. I told you to put it out on Thursday because it is a normal week this week.”

Resident: “Normally for a holiday, I put my trash out on Friday. The trash truck already came by today, so I missed it. What are you guys doing down there?”

Me: “There was no delay this week for trash pickup. I told you to put your trash out on Thursday.”

Resident: “So, you’re saying I have to double up next week?”

Me: “I guess so.”

Resident: “Ridiculous. What are you guys doing down there?” *Hangs up*

My manager is standing near my desk as I summarize the call with a coworker, and she tells me she’d rather we just transfer calls when people ask for information not in our department. So much for trying to help, but I understand.

A couple of minutes later, the resident calls back.

Me: “Collector’s Office, can I help you?”

Resident: “I called yesterday and asked about trash pickup. I don’t think I talked to you. Anyway, they told me there was a delay because of the holiday, but the trash truck already came by. What’s going on down there?”

Me: “It was me you talked to, but let me transfer you to the Health Department.”

I transfer him. Maybe an hour later, the resident comes into the office. Fortunately, my newer coworker gets up to help him.

Resident: “I called on the phone about trash pickup. They already picked up my street, but the person on the phone said there was supposed to be a delay. What’s going on down here?”

Coworker: “Ummm, let me ask…”

Me: “You need to speak with the health department. Go back down the ramp and turn left down the long hallway. They’re all the way at the end.”

The resident then started speaking in hushed tones with my coworker. Something about trees. It went on for several minutes with my coworker nodding and shrugging. I heard the word “Black” at the end. Finally, he left.

Apparently, he was ranting about an incident with a tree that fell on his property years ago; he thought the town should take care of it but, either they never did or they didn’t do well enough. Then, he threw in, “If I were Black, the town would bend over backward to help me,” so I’m thinking it’s not just a lack of listening on his end.

I work in the Collector’s office for a municipality.

Me: “Collector’s Office, can I help you?”

Caller: “I’m calling to find out my past due water balance for [address].”

Me: “Sure, one moment… As of today, the balance is $52.38.”

Caller: “How much?”

Me: “$52.38.”

Caller: “How much of that is past due?”

Me: “All of it. It was due a month ago.”

Caller: “Okay, and what is the amount?”

Me: “$52.38.”

Caller: “Okay. What is the payoff amount?”

Me: “$52.38.”

Caller: “And what is the past due balance?”

Me: “$52.38.”

Caller: “And what do I owe as of today?”

Me: “$52.38.”

Caller: “Okay, thank you!”

This was a story circulating in our area for a while. The CEO of a large regional company often visited the satellite office using one of the two company helicopters. Every morning, his chauffeur drove him from his mansion in a swanky suburb to the main office and drove him home at the end of each day.

One day, the CEO tired of spending thirty minutes in the car and then another hour on a helicopter. He went to the town hall in his suburb to apply for a permit to build a helipad on his property. Having the helicopter pick him up every morning and bring him back every day would save at least a couple of hours of his commute to the satellite office.

The town hall held a hearing on his permit. Townspeople showed up in droves. They complained that the potential noise would not only drive them nuts but also drive their property values down.

As one complainant ranted at the microphone, the CEO stood, plastered a smug look on his face, and said:

CEO: “Do you know who I am?”

The complainant turned, pointed a finger, and shouted:

Complainant: “Yeah, I know who you are. You’re the guy who is not getting a helipad!”

The crowd cheered.

And no, he did not get his helipad.

A client for a municipal website asked me to clean up a photo of the city hall, and he sent me two photos. One of them was a blurry photo that looked like it was taken on a smartphone by a running drunk, and the other was the same city hall photo but in a full rainstorm.

Me: “I can’t use either of these photos.”

Client: “Why not? Didn’t you say you were good at Photoshop?”

Me: “I am, but I can’t fix a horribly blurred low-resolution photo or clean up heavy rain where you can barely even see the building behind it.”

Client: “That’s a shame. You came highly regarded to us, and I thought you were capable of more.”

Me: “Why don’t you just take another photo? Or, I can even do it myself since I don’t live far from the city hall.”

Client: “No, that’s okay. I no longer have any faith in your abilities.”