Yukon Freeze It, Part 3

| Niagara, ON, Canada | Right | September 3, 2013

(I’m about 10 years old. I’m coming out of a store, when a very obvious tourist couple confronts me. They have a kayak strapped to the top of their truck, and some skidoos trailered to the back. It’s summer.)

Tourist: “You! You can you help me!”

Me: “Umm, okay. What’s wrong?”

Tourist: “Where can I go ice fishing?”

Me: “A lot of places, but it’s way too warm for that right now.”

Tourist: “We’re in Canada, correct?”

Me: “Yeah, but it’s summer time. Maybe if you were much further north you’d find ice.”

Tourist: “I drove up from the south; this is north.”

Me: “Umm, well you could take your kayak out to Lake Ontario to go regular fishing, but not ice fishing.”

(The tourist’s wife, with selective hearing issues, chimes in.)

Tourist’s Wife: “We can go ice fishing?!”

Me: *gives up* “Sure, just go down Lake Street, and you’ll find the lake.”

Tourist’s Wife: “Honey look, they name their streets after the places they go to! How cute!”

(I watch them drive off in the opposite direction.)

Related:
Yukon Freeze It, Part 2
Yukon Freeze It

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Having A Light Bulb Moment, Part 3

, | Grand Canyon, AZ, USA | Right | September 2, 2013

(It’s almost dusk at the gift shop I am running at the southern rim of the Grand Canyon. A tourist couple approaches.)

Woman: “Where is the best spot to watch the Canyon at night?”

Me: “Well, anywhere along the walkway is good, but the sun’s going down very soon.”

Man: “Yes, we want to be here when they turn on the lights.”

Me: “…lights?”

Woman: “Yes, so we can see it at night.”

Me: “Umm, the Canyon is over a mile deep at this point, and the northern rim is over a mile across from here. There aren’t any lights in it for nighttime.”

Man: “Then how do you see it at night?”

Me: “…basically it’s the big blackness out there.”

Related:
Having A Light Bulb Moment, Part 2
Having A Light Bulb Moment

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Weekly Roundup: Cruise Line Craziness!

, | Not Always Right | Right | July 28, 2013

Weekly Roundup: Cruise Line Craziness! In this week’s roundup, we share five stories about cruise ship passengers!

  1. The Vacation Of A Lifetime, Slightly Exaggerated (1,520 thumbs up)
  2. Varicose To His Wife (4,457 thumbs up)
  3. Low IQ On The High Seas (2,070 thumbs up)
  4. When Common Sense Goes Naval Gazing (3,033 thumbs up)
  5. What’s Red Or Blue And Dumb All Over (2,682 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Cross Examining Churches

| Saint John, NB, Canada | Right | October 18, 2010

(I don’t work in tourism though I must seem like a friendly person since I do get a lot of people stopping me to ask questions of where things are.)

Tourist: “Are you familiar with the area? Do you live around here?”

Me: “Yes I do, what can I help you with?”

Tourist: “I’m looking for a cathedral in this area somewhere.”

Me: “Okay, which one in particular? There’s about four around here.”

Tourist: “I’m looking for a Catholic cathedral.”

Me: “Okay, let me think…the Anglican church is that way, there’s one near by don’t know what it is, one over up the street a ways–”

Tourist: “I don’t want no Anglican church! Bloody Anglican whores! I want Catholic!”

Me: “I think it’s that one right over there.” *I point at the church*

Tourist: “Yes, that’s a cathedral. It had better not be Anglican or I’ll hunt you down!”

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