A Long Way To Go To Return A Book

, , , | Friendly | June 15, 2017

I work at a library in a small-ish city, about 15,000 people, and since our library also functions as a community center of sorts, I see a lot of people every day. Since I’ve worked there over ten years, by now a lot of people in town recognize me, to the point where at least once a week I’ll be at the grocery store or church and have a stranger come up to me and go “I know you! You work at the library!”

This isn’t exactly limited to our town, either — quite a few people in neighboring cities have library cards at our library, so I could be shopping or doing my business in one of the nearby cities and have someone I don’t even know recognize me. It’s usually a good experience, but it can be strange at times.

Last summer, I traveled across the country with a friend to attend a festival in another state. So naturally, during the entire trip work is the last thing on my mind. On the flight home, I’m sitting on the plane watching the rest of the passengers board when a woman makes eye contact with me and bursts out:

“Hey, I know you! You work at the library in [City]! Fancy meeting you here!”

I knew that since I WAS flying home, odds were higher than usual that I’d run into someone who lived close to me. But seeing as I was on a plane thousands of miles from home when it happened, the whole experience was more than a little surreal.

This Is Making Them Very (Past) Tense

, , , , , | Right | June 14, 2017

(I work at an airport in New York City. A customer approaches, looking confused after looking over the arriving flights monitor.)

Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “What’s the difference between ‘Landing’ and ‘Landed’?”

Airports Always Bring Out The Goodbyes

, , , , | Right | June 14, 2017

(My mum is the bad customer in this story. This takes place back in ‘80s before I was born. My mum is saying goodbye to a then-boyfriend at an airport, in a very inappropriate public display of affection. They are passionately kissing with my mum straddled across his lap; they can barely take their hands off each other, groping, grabbing, etc. Eventually they pull themselves apart and she goes to the check in. In her defence, mum has always had a wicked sense of humour.)

Air Hostess: *while at boarding gate* “So, saying goodbye to a loved one?”

Mum: “Yeah, that was my brother.”

Air Hostess: *literally jumps and stares at my mum in horror*

(Mum said she hoped one day the hostess realised she was joking.)

Very Ver-Silly

, , , | Friendly | June 3, 2017

(Some friends and I are heading to Versailles.)

Friend #1: “How do you pronounce it? Is it Versail?”

Friend #2: “No I’m sure it’s Ver-sail–lees.”

Me: “No, actually, I think it’s Ver-say.”

Friend #1: “No, that can’t be right. Where did you learn that?”

Me: “I don’t know exactly. I’ve always pronounced it that way but I’ve just watched a couple of shows about France and that’s how they pronounced it.”

Friend #1: “Whatever.”

(Later on someone else asked us where we were going.)

Friend #2: “VERS- SAL-LEES.”

(I just gave up. I still have no idea why I felt so annoyed about the wrong pronunciation. It could be because my family name originated in France but now has an English pronunciation.)

And I’ll Get To Scotland Before You

, , , , , | Right | June 1, 2017

(I work at an office that offers tours of Scotland and the highlands, although sometimes we can take on private groups. I’m on a late shift by myself and the phone rings.)

Me: “Hello, [Tour Company].”

American-Sounding Girl: “Hi, I wondered if I could get a quote on a private tour?”

Me: “Okay, how many are we talking?”

American-Sounding Girl: “190.”

Me: *thinking “wow!”* “Okay, and were you looking for one of our set itineraries or a custom itinerary?”

American-Sounding Girl: “Well, shall I just tell you the situation and we can take it from there?”

Me: “Sounds good.”

American-Sounding Girl: “Okay, so we’re all college students and we’re looking to organise a large trip to the Superbowl—”

Me: “I’ll just stop you right there. Where are you calling from?”

American-Sounding Girl: “Nova Scotia.”

Me: “Okay, I think you may have the wrong number. This is [Tour Company] in Scotland.”

American-Sounding Girl: “…”

Me: “…so you are just over 2,000 miles closer to the Superbowl than we are…”

American-Sounding Girl: “…”

Me: “…so, you know… it’s only fair to advise you that this would impractically expensive for you.”

(There was a long pause then she burst out laughing, followed by me. We had a good laugh!)

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