You Can’t Beat Airport Security

, , , | Working | August 11, 2017

(I’m traveling with my family and my in-laws, going through airport security. My father-in-law is pulled aside for wanding. He doesn’t look much like a terrorist to me, but maybe I don’t think like they do. More likely, it’s his hip replacements that just sets off the alarm each time. The agent wanding him is a congenial older man.)

Agent: “Have you been through this before?”

Father-In-Law: “Many times.”

Agent: *holding up handheld scanner and smiling* “Then you know that this is the part where I beat you with this.”

Father-In-Law: *nervously* “No, that part is new.”

Hawaii Five-OMG!

, , , , | Friendly | August 9, 2017

(I’m in the water at a beautiful, sunlit beach in Hawaii, surrounded by sea turtles, tropical fish, and other natural beauty. A teenage girl pulls out her phone and is obviously disgusted by what she sees:)

Girl: “I’m only getting a 3G connection! How do people LIVE out here?!”

They’re Never Above Your Station

, , , , , | Hopeless | July 24, 2017

(This happens a week or two after I have just arrived to Japan for a student exchange program. I have yet to have my phone connected to the Internet at this point, so I have to rely on memory to get around. This, coupled with my liking to walk rather than go by transport, results in me getting lost a lot. This time I’m trying to walk home from university, but end up in a different part of the town altogether, and it’s getting late so I decide to just find the nearest subway station. Luckily, I at least speak some Japanese.)

Me: *walks into a convenience shop* “Excuse me, could you tell me what the nearest train station is and how to get there?”

Clerk: “Well, it’s a 20-minute walk from here and it’s a little complicated… Hey, [Coworker #1], there is a foreign customer asking how to get to the train station. Can you explain to her?”

(Coworker #1, an extremely nice middle-aged lady, calls Coworker #2, a young man, and together they try to explain the way to me in half-English, half-Japanese. Unfortunately, I am not yet familiar with local landmarks and find my Japanese vocabulary significantly lacking for words such as “highway” and “T-crossing”. Eventually they draw me crude map and, having thanked them, I walk out with it. They had even offered to walk part of the way with me, but that seemed like an obnoxious thing to accept, so I refused. As I am trying to follow the hand-drawn map, I hear footsteps behind me, and see a young man dressed like a typical office worker trying to catch up.)

Young Man: “Excuse me! I heard you talking to the clerk in that convenience store, and was wondering if I could help you find the way? Where do you want to get?”

Me: “[Neighbourhood where my dorm is], but I’m fine with just finding the train station.”

Young Man: “Well, if you keep walking like this, you’ll end up in Nara!” *a town over 20 miles away in the opposite direction from where I need to get*

(He then walks with me to the train station, making polite conversation as we go. I assume he just needs to go in the same direction anyway. As we get to the station:)

Young Man: “Do you know which station you have to get off at? I can look up on my phone.”

Me: “Oh, thank you, but I know. It’s [Station].”

Young Man: “Than you just need to board the next train from [Platform]. Here, use my train pass.”

Me: “Oh, no, thank you. I have the money.”

Young Man: “Are you sure? It’s [fare]. My pass is unlimited, so it’s okay if you use it. My company pays for it anyway.”

Me: “No, no, but thank you. Thank you very much.”

(As I head to the ticket gate, I see him waving and turning to walk off.)

Me: “Aren’t you going?”

Young Man: “Me? Oh, no. I actually live in an opposite direction; this isn’t even the station I have to board from. I just wanted to make sure you were all right!”

(Young man, thank you so much for helping me get home that night! This encounter meant so much to me back then, especially since I was in the middle of adapting to the new country!)

ATMs Are Not Always Working

, , , , , , | Working | July 1, 2017

(There are only a few businesses open 24 hours in Japan, but there is one thing that really surprised me my first year there and still boggles my mind. It came up in my second year when I and some other teachers were answering some questions to some of the local residents in our area.)

Question: “What surprised you most when you came to Japan?”

Me: “Oh, that’s easy: ATMs close.”

(I proceeded to explain that ATMs in the States operate 24 hours a day, which they found strange. When I first got here, most ATMs closed at six pm; three pm on Sundays. Now they mostly stay open to nine pm except at the post office where they close at seven pm or so. On New Year’s the ATMs and banks are closed for about three days so you have be ready for it. Still confuses me as to why.)

The Taxing Nature Of Geography

, , , , , | Right | June 29, 2017

(I work at a rather well known mall in my city. A woman comes up to the counter with an item. She’s very pleasant while I ring up her one lone item. I tell her the price and she stares at me confused.)

Customer: “No, the price is [price].”

(This happens a lot at our mall because in many foreign countries the tax is included on the price tag so I explain.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am. But there’s tax on this item. So it’s actually [price].”

Customer: “But I’m from Nigeria!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. And I hope you’re having a lovely visit . But it’s still [price]”

Customer: “No. How much is it because I’m from Nigeria?”

Me: “In this store, it’s the same price wherever a person is from. Will you paying with cash or credit today?”

(The customer grumpily hands me her credit card. The card is unsigned and company policy dictates I request photo ID. I confirm her identity, return her license, and swipe the card.)

Customer: “But I’m from Nigeria!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Please sign here. Thank you very much. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

(According to her driver’s license, Ms. Nigeria lived closer to the building than I did.)

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