One More ‘One More’

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers

(The FAQ on our event website states that the maximum group size is 10.)

Customer: “What is the maximum group size?”

Me: “10.”

Customer: “We have a group of 11; can you make an exception just this once?”

Me: “We will do our best to accommodate your group, but I can’t make guarantees.”

Customer: “So is that a yes?”

Me: “We will do our best. I don’t see it being a problem.

Customer: “Okay, great. And actually, we have 12 in our group, but what’s one more?”

They’re Behind The ‘Shall Not Pass’ Signs

| Jewel Cave, SD, USA | Geeks Rule, Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(We are on a group tour through caves, 200-300 feet underground. There are metal stairs and viewing platforms along the path. At each platform, a park ranger will describe what we are seeing, talk about the cave’s exploration history, and answer any questions. One question comes from a young teen girl on the tour. )

Girl: “Are there balrogs in these caves?”

Park Ranger: “Ball rocks?”

Girl: “BAL-rogs, from Lord Of The Rings?”

Park Ranger: “Uh, not that I know of…”

Won’t Let The Joke Run Its Course

| Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

(I’m working the night shift, and my supervisor has asked me to shut most of the sliding doors and start getting ready to close, leaving me to empty the till while he goes to close another attraction. Our policy is not to turn away any customer unless we’ve started closing out the till. Three men, clearly a little drunk, come inside.)

Guy #1: “Can we come in?”

Me: “I’m sorry. I’ve just started closing and I can’t sell any more tickets.”

Guy #2: “We’ll be really quick.”

Me: “Unfortunately I’ve already started closing out so I’m actually unable to sell you a ticket, and I can’t let you in for free.”

Guy #1: “Well, what if I RAN PAST YOU?”

(At this point he starts running past my booth, but I just give him a withering glare with one eyebrow raised, a look I’ve perfected for dealing with unruly men at work. He stops in his tracks and backs up slowly to the entrance.)

Guy #1: *dejectedly* “I’m sorry.”