Starter For Ten

| Nashville, TN, USA | Bizarre, Time

(I have worked for four years in a tourist trap, which opensevery day at 10 am… Even so, most staff are obligated to report by 8:30 am. I am in the front one morning when a guest wanders in.)

Woman: “Three, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t open until ten.”

Woman: “What? No, the website states that you open at nine.”

Me: “Sorry, I’m afraid not. We are not open.”

Woman: “Are you callin’ me a liar?”

A Giant Wave Of Ignorance

| Seward, AK, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

(We do glacier and whale watching cruises. On this day, there has been a tsunami alert, although it later turned out to be a false alarm. The alarm horns are sounding all over the waterfront.)

Me: “This is the tsunami warning system. I need everyone to drop what you’re doing and evacuate uphill to the high school. There are evacuation route signs posted under the street signs.”

Customer: “Can you explain this tour to me?”

Me: “Sir, we are evacuating.”

Customer: “Can I just wait by the docks until you all come back?”

Me: “There is a tsunami alarm sounding. You need to get to high ground.”

Customer: “But, when the tsunami is over, will you be running more tours?”

One More ‘One More’

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers

(The FAQ on our event website states that the maximum group size is 10.)

Customer: “What is the maximum group size?”

Me: “10.”

Customer: “We have a group of 11; can you make an exception just this once?”

Me: “We will do our best to accommodate your group, but I can’t make guarantees.”

Customer: “So is that a yes?”

Me: “We will do our best. I don’t see it being a problem.

Customer: “Okay, great. And actually, we have 12 in our group, but what’s one more?”