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Some Use Slightly Less Than Others…

| USA | Math & Science, Pets & Animals

(I work in a dolphin education facility and it’s my job to answer any questions that guests have about our animals or about dolphins in general. Since the movie “Lucy” has come into theaters, I have been getting a lot of the following:)

Guest: “Is it true that dolphins use 20% of their brain? Humans only use 10%!”

Me: “That is a common myth, but actually both species use 100% of our brains. They are comprised of different areas for different functions so it’s hard to compare them anyhow.”

Guest: “But they are so much smarter; they must use 20%!”

Me: “While intelligence can be debated, I assure you that all animals use 100% of their brains.”

Guest: “Well, how can you know?”

Me: “If we only used 10 or even 20% of our brains we’d be completely non-responsive… or dead…”

(Because if you heard it in a movie it MUST be true!)

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Toddlers Can Be Terrifying

| USA | Family & Kids

(I work at a pretty popular haunted house in my town, and I’m outside on my break, near the entrance line.)

Customer: “Excuse me; can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Yes, absolutely.”

Customer: “What’s your age limit here?”

Me: “I don’t believe we have a technical age limit, but we don’t recommend anyone under the age of 10 or so.”

Customer: “Well, would it be all right if I brought in my son? He’s ten months old.”

Me: “Uh, ma’am… I’m sorry, but I don’t believe that would be a good idea. The house can be pretty intense, and your son being as young as he is, he would probably cause a fuss and disturb the other walkers and the actors.”

Customer: “But he’s, like, really brave.”

Me: “Believe me, I don’t think it’s a good idea. He’ll be terrified.”

Customer: “Okay, then. Thanks!”

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If You Don’t Listen You Can Go Swim With The Fishes

, | England, UK | Money, Pets & Animals, Popular, Tourists/Travel

(We decide to have a day at the beach with our children. They are both being so well behaved we decide to go to the Sea Life Centre despite it being known as an expensive attraction.)

Customer: “How much are tickets?”

Cashier: “All prices are on the board to your left, but I can see that there are three of you so that would be £41. However, if you—”

Customer: “What?! That is ridiculous! How can you charge so much?”

Cashier: “Well, we operate a sea life hospital. Part of the ticket price goes to helping injured animals and releasing them back to the wild.”

Customer: “I am not paying that! Come on, we are leaving. What a rip off!”

Me: “Er… four, please.”

Cashier: “Great, thank you, that will be £55. But if you head over to the supermarket they will give you 40% off.”

Me: “Great! Thank you!”

(I dash over to the supermarket and pick up a voucher, I see the family still outside when I return but they are too busy shouting at each other to let me offer them a voucher. We ended up having a great time.)

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