One Is Not Impressed

| Cairns, QLD, Australia | Friendly | September 4, 2015

(On a tour bus going north from Cairns, I sit near the driver who has a hands free microphone on to talk to passengers and gives information about the places we are passing. I am Irish and most passengers are British/Japanese.)

Driver: “Can anyone tell me what animal is featured on Australian currency?”

Me: *quietly to my Friend* “The Queen?”

Driver: *through the microphone* “No, [My Name], the Queen is not an animal!”

(The British passengers were not impressed with me!)

No Spoilers On The Knight Bus

| UK | Friendly | August 10, 2015

(I am an American student ambassador with about twenty other high school age students on a trip to England. The trip to London coincides with the release of the final Harry Potter book. We manage to get free time in a shopping area and a large group of us pick up the book. The majority of tour bus travel time was spent reading the book and having this happen…)

Person #1: *reading* “…Oh, my god!”

Everyone: “SHHHH! NO SPOILERS!”

Needlessly Lost In Translation

| Liverpool, England, UK | Friendly | July 7, 2015

(My friend and I are from Singapore on a holiday in UK. We are on a tour bus and the tour leader is getting everyone to introduce themselves. Note: We speak English as our first language, and Mandarin as our second. We have never learnt Malay and do not speak it.)

Tour Leader: “So, where are you from?”

Friend & Me: “Singapore.”

Tour Leader: “So, what language do you speak?”

Friend & Me: “English.”

Tour Leader: “I mean, what language do you speak there?”

Me: “English? Like the language I’m speaking now?”

Tour Leader: “No, no, what language do you speak there?”

Friend: “Well, we have four official languages. English, Malay—”

Tour Leader: “Yes! It’s not English! You speak Malay!”

Little Nuggets Of Interest

| Dublin, Ireland | Right | December 21, 2010

(I am providing a tour through Ireland and explaining its history.)

Me: “…and then the Danish Vikings and the Norse Vikings got together, and created the most fantastic thing in the world. Does anyone know what that is?”

Young passenger: “Chicken nuggets!”

Me: “I was going to say red hair, but that answer just blows mine out of the water!”

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