Unfiltered Story #122329

, , , | Unfiltered | October 4, 2018

(I’m working customer service at a chain of stores that is in liquidation.  There are signs throughout the store for the closing liquidation sale.  Returns are being accepted as long as they are before the liquidation, within the return policy period and have a receipt.  A customer comes up to the desk to return some clothes for being the wrong size for her child.)

Me: Do you have a receipt and is it before the liquidation sale started?

Customer: Yes!

(Customer produces receipt for the clothes, which is dated to after the store closing was announced, but before the sale started.)

Me: Good, you can return them.  But any other clothes that you purchase are final sale, so remember that in the future, okay?

(I do my best to make sure that I tell customers that everything is final sale since some don’t see the many signs announcing that all sales are final, or don’t look at the receipt to know that it says on there that all sales are final.)

Customer: Wait, the store is closing?

Me: Yes.

Customer: For the season?

Me: No, permanently.

Customer: What, when did this happen?  Is it just this store?

Me: No, they are closing all the stores.

(At this point my supervisor comes over since he thinks that the customer is getting confused about the new return policy.  I assure him everything is fine and send the customer on her way with all the items returned properly.  I call him back over once she’s gone to let him know what was going on.)

Supervisor: She must have just come back from somewhere.

Me: I don’t know how she could have missed all the signs.

Their IQ Is Not In Credit

, , , , , | Right | September 26, 2018

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Company]. My name is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “I already paid you your $0.14. I am not paying another $0.14!”

Me: “Uh, I’m sorry. I can certainly look into this for you. Am I speaking with [Customer]?”

Customer: “Yes! And I already paid your d*** bill twice! Why am I paying again? You can take your $0.14 and shove it!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I see what the problem is. Do you have your statement in front of you?”

Customer: “Yes, of course I do!”

Me: “And do you see that negative sign in front of the balance?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “And do you see the message that says, ‘No payment is required’?”

Customer: *silence*

Me: “The negative sign means you have a credit. You see, you overpaid your account by $0.07 last month, so we sent you a statement to confirm your payment. And then you paid $0.07 again, making your credit $0.14. You do not have to make another payment if your statement says so. Does that make sense?”

Customer: *quietly* “Yes.”

Me: “Great. Have I answered all of your questions?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Fantastic. Thank you for choosing [Company], and have a nice day.”

Not Talking Turkey This Thanksgiving

, , , , , , , | Friendly | September 15, 2018

This happened in the 1990s when tokens were the main way to pay for public transit.

A friend of mine got on a bus around Thanksgiving. After he got on, a weird-looking guy carrying a huge frozen turkey got on the bus. He dropped a token in the slot ostentatiously, announcing, “This one’s for me,” and then did it again, saying, “This one’s for the turkey.” Then he sat down and put the turkey in the seat next to him.

As the bus went along its route, it started to fill up. At a certain point, there were no empty seats left. A lady went up to the guy and asked him to move his turkey so she could sit down. At that point, the guy said dramatically, “The turkey pays, the turkey stays.” The bus driver confirmed that the man had paid for the turkey’s seat, so there was nothing the lady could do about it.

Frankly, I think he was brilliant for buying a seat for his turkey — carrying a frozen, 20-pound object on your lap would not be fun!

They Just L-SAT There

, , , , , , | Learning | September 14, 2018

(I am looking for a summer job in law school and I apply to an LSAT tutoring company. They give me a Skype interview where I have to go through a practice problem as if I were teaching it to a student.)

Me: “So, do you want me to demonstrate the problem, or go through it in Socratic Method?”

(Socratic Method is where you ask the person questions so that they figure it out themselves.)

Interviewer: “Doesn’t matter to me, man.”

(I go ahead and demonstrate the problem, figuring it is a lot easier than trying to walk the interviewer through it Socratically. After I’m done, the interviewer says:)

Interviewer: “Okay, that was fine, but unfortunately we wanted you to teach it Socratically.”

Me: “Okay, but I asked you specifically at the beginning if you wanted me to, and you said I didn’t need to.”

Interviewer: “Hm… I don’t remember that.”

Me: “Well, do you want me to teach it Socratically now, then?”

Interviewer: “Meh, sure. Go ahead.”

Me: “Okay, so, starting from the beginning, what’s the first thing we need to figure out about the problem?”

Interviewer: “I don’t know.”

Me: *slightly taken aback, I go even simpler* “Okay, so, what information do we know from the problem?”

Interviewer: “I don’t know.”

Me: *getting frustrated* “Okay, starting with the first sentence, what does it tell us?”

Interviewer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Okay, the first sentence says, ‘[Sentence],’ doesn’t it?”

Interviewer: “I don’t know.”

(The entire rest of the interview proceeded like this, with the interviewer never answering anything other than, ‘I don’t know.’ He made me basically go through the entire problem myself without making any attempt to role-play as a student, meaning that I basically just ended up demonstrating the problem all over again but much slower. I should also note that this was a tutoring position for LSAT, which means that all of the students I would have been tutoring would have at least three years of university behind them. If any of their students were as dumb as the interviewer was playing them to be, they don’t deserve to pass the LSAT.)

Unfiltered Story #120929

, | Unfiltered | September 13, 2018

(It’s a late-night rush on a saturday)

Customer: “Hi there, can I get a bacon poutine but without the bacon?”

Me: “Oh you mean just the traditional?” (the traditional has only fries, cheese curds and gravy).

Customer: “Noo I mean the bacon but without the bacon.”

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