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Managers Are Used To Spot Checks

, , , , | Right | August 17, 2010

(Our tea shop closes at 9:00 pm. The time is currently 9:10. There is one couple and their child still in the store. I am cleaning the bathroom. The customer opens the bathroom door.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m cleaning this bathroom.”

Customer: “But my son has to go.”

Me: “I’m using bleach; it’s very dangerous here. I can’t let you use the bathroom.”

Customer: “But my son has to go!”

Me: “I can’t let you use it. We’re already closed and I have to finish cleaning.”

Customer: *to another employee* “Your crazy cleaning lady won’t let my son use the bathroom. Can I speak to your manager?”

Coworker: “That is the manager.”

(The customer silently grabbed his wife and son and walked out without another word.)


This story is part of the Entitled Customers roundup!

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Must Be That Time Of The Month

, , , , | Right | July 16, 2010

(A customer calls in to order tickets.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Theater]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I need to order tickets to see your show!”

Me: “All right then, and which show were you looking for?”

Caller: “You mean there’s more than one?!”

Me: “That’s right, we have six shows in our season, and twelve from people who rent our space.”

Caller: “Well, I don’t like that many choices!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. Maybe we can narrow it down. Would you like to see one of our current shows or something within the month?”

Caller: “What month is this?!”

Me: “It’s January.”

Caller: “No, I don’t like January! What else is there?”

Me: *pause* “February?”

Caller: “Hmm. February. FEB-ruary. F-F-F-Feb. No, I don’t like that either!”


This story is part of the Theater roundup!

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See-Through Excuses

, , , , , | Right | July 13, 2010

(A customer comes in with four boxes of our crystal product. They are all broken and foggy.)

Me: “Oh, no, what happened to these?”

Customer: “I just tried cleaning them and they all broke!”

Me: “How did you clean these?”

Customer: “I put them in my dishwasher, of course!”

Me: “Ma’am, these are very delicate crystal figurines. They shouldn’t even be put in water.”

Customer: “Oh, please! Like I’m going to bother cleaning them myself!”


This story is part of our Extra-Stupid-Customers roundup!

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Pray It’s Not Sold Out At Times Square

, , , , | Right | February 8, 2010

Customer: “Two senior tickets for [Film].”

Me: “I’m sorry, we’re no longer playing that film.”

Customer: “What? But you were playing it yesterday!”

Me: “Well, we usually get new movies on Friday.”

Customer: “My friend looked online and it said it was playing here.”

Me: “What website did your friend go to? Did it say the film would be playing here on Friday? Sometimes the websites get the movie listings wrong.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! I’m a native New Yorker and if this was New York, you’d be shot!”