Not Working With Any Real Agency

, , , , , , | Working | February 1, 2018

(Recently I have lost my job and I am desperately looking for work to stay afloat. I have registered with several agencies but despite them making big promises, all my efforts to stay in contact either go unanswered or are met with vague replies. One day another agency calls me about a job I recently applied for. They go through the position with me and ask me details about my experience. For a moment, I think this might actually be going somewhere. The agent then mentions me coming into the office and signing up. This is something I have heard before, so almost instantly my guard goes up and I decide to probe further.)

Me: “So, when exactly is the company looking to interview for this role?”

Agent: “Oh, I don’t think we’re going to be able to forward you for this role.”

Me: “Sorry, what?”

Agent: “We need two written references and a security check done by the end of today, and as it’s 3:00 pm now, that’s probably unlikely! So, what day can I—”

Me: *interrupting* “If there wasn’t a job, why the hell didn’t you say so?”

Agent: *long pause* “Um… We, err… wanted to go through this and see if you were a good fit for this job.”

Me: “BUT THERE IS NO JOB! What the hell?!”

Agent: “So, what day can we pencil you in for?”

Me: “Save it; there is no way in hell I am registering with you. I don’t appreciate being lied to like that!”

Agent: “Hold on now. Let’s just talk a little about this.”

Me: “No. I am really desperate for work right now and you strung me along. That gives me a real poor impression of your company!”

Agent: “So, what day do you want to come in and—”

Me: “Don’t contact me again!”

(That was the last I bothered using an agency! Thankfully, a couple of weeks later I found a new position, but I have sworn off agencies ever since then.)

A Variance In The Rules

, , , , | Working | January 3, 2018

(I work at an amusement park. Around midday we get super busy at my store. The Team Leads are the only ones allowed to void a transaction or do returns.)

Team Lead: “You bag; I’ll cash people out.”

(I am put on bagging while the Team Lead uses my account to do transactions. At the end of the night, after I am counted out by a supervisor, I have a $20 variance.)

Supervisor: “Was anyone besides yourself using your till?”

Me: “[Team Lead] got on it when we were busy.”

Supervisor: “Why would you allow that?”

Me: “Since [Company] doesn’t allow associates to void transactions anymore, it’s a pain to get the Team Lead whenever I need a void or a return.”

Supervisor: “You shouldn’t have allowed that. Now we can’t be sure who caused the variance!”

Me: “Can I ask why you won’t let associates void things anymore? We use to be allowed.”

Supervisor: “The Heads were worried about associates stealing money, and they felt it gave the associates too much power. You know teenagers can be really iffy; we fired two associates for stealing already.”

Me: “But now, I have no power over my till, and I could be fired since this is my second large variance!”

Supervisor: *clearly annoyed at Corporate* “I know! The rules are being made up by people who haven’t worked in retail for over 20 years. Don’t even talk to me about that! But regardless, you can’t blame your Team Lead because the Heads will just say they’re doing their job. I have to just have you sign off on it and hope we just miscounted.”

(Luckily, I wasn’t called about that variance, but the next time the Team Lead tried to take over my till I told her no, and I wasn’t fired.)

He Watches When You’re Sleeping

, , , , , , | Related | December 25, 2017

(My daughter comes home from preschool in December with a stuffed animal that I know she doesn’t own. We do not celebrate Christmas so my daughter and I have no background knowledge in anything related that holiday.)

Me: “[Daughter], where did that giraffe come from?”

Daughter: “A man gave it to me.”

Me: “A man?”

Daughter: “Yeah, he came to the preschool and gave everyone toys!”

Me: “Did the teachers know this man?”

Daughter: “[Friend] says he’s always watching us. He was really nice.”

(At this point I’m about to call the preschool freaking out about a male stalking my little girl when my husband jumps in.)

Husband: “Watch this, honey… Did this man have a red suit on and a long white beard?”

Daughter: “Yeah! You know him too, Daddy?”

(And that is how I almost called the preschool freaking out because I thought Santa Claus was stalking my daughter.)

Diagnoses That Leave You Breathless

, , , | Healthy | December 15, 2017

(I was just recently diagnosed with pretty severe asthma. This winter, I start feeling odd in my chest whenever I breathe, and it’s causing me great anxiety, so I go to my GP.)

Me: “Whenever I breathe my chest feels odd, and it’s difficult to get deep breaths.”

Doctor: “So, don’t breathe; problem solved.”

Me: *awkward laugh* “Yeah, I guess so, but I was hoping for a more permanent solution.”

Doctor: “Take your inhaler.”

Me: “Yes, I am, but it doesn’t help.”

Doctor: “So, don’t breathe.”

(I ended up walking out and going to the ER. It wasn’t life-threatening and they just told me to take something over-the-counter medicine for a month, and to avoid going outside in extremely cold weather.)

I Got 299 Problems But My Manager Ain’t One

, , , , , , , | Working | December 9, 2017

(A customer brings a pair of shoes to the front with no price tag, so I use our store headset to ask one of my coworkers to check for it.)

Coworker: *via headset* “It’s $2.99.”

Me: “For a pair of shoes? That can’t be right. Let me get [Nice Manager].”

Coworker: “He’s on break, so it’s just [Manager I don’t like]. Maybe the shoes are on clearance. Look, all I know is that what our database says.”

Me: “Okay… If you say so. You’re sure?”

Coworker: “You know, it’s a little insulting you keep asking me if I’m sure. I have 20/20 vision, and I’m going to [Local University]. I’m pretty sure I know what I’m doing.”

Me: “Okay, okay, sorry.”

(I adjust the price, regardless of my doubts. When you do a price change you have the option of adding a note as to why you changed it that’ll show up on the store’s receipt but not the customer’s. I type in the whole story, including coworker’s name and price.)

Me: “Okay, so, it turns out it’s your lucky day. These shoes are $2.99. They must be on clearance or something!”

Customer: “REALLY? Wow, I’m shopping here all the time, now. What great deals!”

(The customer leaves and I go on doing sales. When the manager I like comes back from break, I show him the transaction I was iffy about.)

Manager: “[Coworker] told you that [Brand] shoes were $2.99 and you believed her. We just lost almost $50! You’ve been here for three months; you should know the price of basically everything in the store. [Coworker] has been here for almost a year; I find it hard to believe she said these shoes were $2.99. You know, being responsible means—”

Coworker: *on headset* “Oh, [My Name], I misread the label. The shoes are actually $29.99. My bad.”

Manager: “What?” *grabs my headset* “Who do you think you’re fooling, [Coworker]? They’re $45.99. Are you trying to get [My Name] in trouble?”

(My coworker got called into the manager’s office. She got written up and sent home early because the manager only wanted “people he could trust” working the floor.)

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