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So Simple A Newborn Could Do It

, , , , , , | Working | March 4, 2021

My wife and I are having our first child soon so we are trying to get the essentials bought as soon as possible. The most important, or at least the most expensive, is the stroller.

We go shopping at a baby store that sells cribs, car seats, and strollers. Once we get there, the salesman immediately comes over to greet us. He says a warm hello to my wife and her mother and then takes them off to see the strollers, leaving me to trail behind them.

The salesman is very enthusiastic and shows us a few strollers in our price range.

Me: “This one seems to be the best option, as far as I can tell. How does it fold up?”

The salesman reaches down and folds it up in one quick fluid motion.

Salesman: “Ta-da!”

Me: “Okay, but how exactly did you do that? It was too quick for me to follow.”

Salesman: *Turns to my wife* “He’s not so on the ball is he?”

Then, he turns back to me and speaks slowly, as if to a child.

Salesman: “You… hold… here… and… pull… up… on… the… handles… here.”

Then, he gave me a smug look and went back to talking to my wife. I didn’t bother asking any more questions about the stroller and went home steamed about the whole encounter. We did end up buying it, though.

Once the stroller got delivered, wouldn’t you know it, none of us could figure out half the things it did. Once the car seat was attached to the stroller, no one could figure out how to get it off. After an hour and several instructional videos online, we discovered that the detach buttons were actually invisible and hidden under a layer of padding. 

If only there had been someone whose job it was to demonstrate how it worked.

She May Call You Honey But She Isn’t Sweet

, , , , | Right | January 27, 2021

I am training two new cashiers. An elderly customer decides to cash out at the register we are training on. We respect the rules of social distancing, but when we have three people on one register, the best we can do is to at least be a metre (about three feet) apart so we’re all watching and learning from each other. I’m in the middle, watching [Trainee #1] scan their items, and [Trainee #2], on my left, is watching from a decent distance.

While the customer’s items are being scanned and I’m watching, the customer is staring at [Trainee #2] and me.

Customer: “Neither of you is social distancing! [Trainee #2] needs to move back away from you!”

He has nowhere to go, so he just takes a step back and she shakes her head in disbelief.

Customer: “Oh, honey, that’s not far enough. Do I need to call the manager to teach you how to social distance?”

Trainee #2: “The manager has gone home for the night.”

Customer: “I don’t like your attitude.”

I step in and explain.

Me: “All three of us are training and he wasn’t giving any attitude; he just has nowhere else to step back toward.”

Customer: *Fake tone* “Oh, I’m not trying to argue with you, honey.”

She continues on spewing her nonsense about social distancing and getting management involved and then starts yelling at me loud enough for the whole store to hear.


She gestures to [Trainee #1].


Customers and coworkers are all staring in our direction. I’m shaking my head at her and she’s appalled that I’m taking her tantrum as a joke.

While this is going on, I notice that three of my other coworkers are gathered by the exit doors, talking to each other, definitely not two metres apart, and I bring it up to the customer.

Me: “So, if you’re going to tell us to social distance, then does that mean you’re going to tell them to do so, as well?”

Customer: “I’m only looking at you, honey.”

Me: “Well, you can’t be selective on who to tell to social distance.”

She had no reply. She paid for her groceries and left.

In the end, [Trainee #2] and I came to the conclusion that she was a passive racist because he and I were the only tanned ones there and we were the only ones she was giving trouble to.

When You Literally Have To Size Up The Customers

, , , , | Right | January 15, 2021

I am working at customer service when I have this interaction.

Customer: “Can you help me?”

Me: “What can I do for you?”

Customer: *Turns around* “Look at the tag inside my shirt and tell me what size it is so I know what size to buy.”

Read The (Hospital) Room, Buddy!

, , , , , | Romantic | January 2, 2021

My father has high blood pressure, and from time to time, he experiences prolonged nosebleeds. If the bleeding lasts longer than twenty minutes, he must be taken to the hospital. This happens one evening at around 10:00 pm, so I drive him to the emergency department at a nearby hospital. Note that this occurs during the global health crisis where only a certain amount of people are allowed in a room.

When we arrived at the registration area, they need to take my father’s blood pressure and ask him some questions. I am told to wait outside as only two people, including the nurse, are allowed in the assessment room.

The room is located right in front of the entrance where a few security guards are monitoring the entrance. While I wait, one of them starts to talk to me. He asks me what happened and I tell him briefly; it makes me feel better to talk to someone. Initially, everything appears to be nothing more than a normal conversation.

Security Guard: “Are you all right, miss?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m just a bit stressed. This is how I would normally react when this happens to my dad.”

Security Guard: “Can I get you water or anything?”

Me: “I’m okay, thank you very much. I really appreciate it.”

The nurse gets my attention as my father is done registering in the assessment room and has been redirected to the examination room to see the doctor. The security guard knows that I have to go in with my father.

Security Guard: “I think we should exchange phone numbers, if you are interested in grabbing a coffee sometime. I am [Security Guard], by the way.”

I am taken aback as the hospital is one of the wrong places to pick up women.

Me: “I gotta run now. Can’t leave my dad waiting.”

I take my father into the examination room. The doctor sees him and, because his blood pressure is way above average, he is given a pill to lower it. We have to wait for about an hour. After that, he is fine and the doctor determines that it is nothing major and it is just one of those moments. We are given the green light to go home. As I am exiting the hospital, [Security Guard] is still on duty and keeps hitting on me.

Security Guard: “Are you willing to accept the invitation I offered you?”

Me: “I am actually married with a four-year-old and am expecting a pair of twins due in July of 2021.”

He was speechless. At least I got to see his reaction at the right moment. And no, I am not married and have no children!

Customers Like This Should Be Illegal

, , , , | Right | December 28, 2020

I work at an office supply store that also has a print shop. This particular day, our lead has called in sick, so I started early and am on my own for the day. We don’t normally do on-the-spot service, and today will be worse; I won’t be able to take as many same-day orders for the evening since I’m alone manning the counter and doing orders.

About halfway through my twelve-hour shift, a lady comes in needing a job done. It’s late afternoon, so it’s pretty dead traffic-wise and she is the only one at my counter.

Me: “Hello, I’m [My Name]. How can I help?

Customer: “Hey. I’m in a pinch and need to file these before the court closes in a few hours. How fast can you get these done?”

Me: “Unfortunately, I can’t take any more on-the-spot orders as we had a sick call and I’m alone all day. If it’s just a straight print job, you’re welcome to use self-serve. Otherwise, you’re looking at tomorrow morning at the earliest.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll do that. I’ll be back.”

I say okay, not knowing what she meant. I probably should have taken a hint that this would turn into more. But in my defense, I am running around and stressed.

After about twenty minutes, she comes over with three copies of a 250-page document.

Me: “Hey, did you get your stuff printed okay? Do you need a box?”

Customer: “A box would be good. I’m going to browse the store until you’re done.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I need them bound. I can’t file them like this.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I really can’t. As I explained, I already have a bunch of orders and I’m by myself.”

Customer: “What do you mean? There is no one here!”

Me: “No, there isn’t right now, but we were busy all morning and it took up all my availability, unfortunately. Sorry about that. You could try [Store about fifteen minutes away] since I know they aren’t as busy. I could call them quickly to check, too.”

Customer: “No, I want you to do them!”

Me: “Ma’am, I really can’t at the moment. I’m really sorry.”

Customer: “Well, sorry doesn’t cut it. I’m a f****** lawyer who needs them done now, or I swear I will sue your a**. Get me management!”

I call a manager who comes up immediately.

Manager: “What seems to be the problem here?”

Customer: “I need these files in two hours and your lazy employee here won’t do it! It would only take like ten minutes, and there is no one else here, so I should get priority because I’m here!”

Manager: “Unfortunately, ma’am, we had a few sick calls, so this young lady is alone today.”

Customer: “Don’t give me excuses! You have a duty to do my order or else I’m calling head office!”

I immediately shudder because, for base-level employees, a call to head office, no matter how unjustified and ridiculous, results in a write-up.

Manager: *Sighs* “I suppose we can pull someone from the floor; however, you will have to pay additional labour fees and rush fees.”

I know exactly what my manager is trying to do and I’m interested to see what will happen.

Manager: “So, in total, we are going to charge you twenty for the three binds, and since it will take about twenty minutes to bind them the way you want, twenty dollars in labour fees. Does that work for you?”

Customer: “That’s insane! I’m not paying that much.”

Manager: “Well, there isn’t much else I can do. Sorry, ma’am.”

Customer: “You’re not f****** sorry! I swear, I will sue you all! How dare you treat a representative of the law like this?! I will have all your jobs! I’m never coming back here!”

She then stormed out after pushing all her documents on the floor. About twenty minutes later, she sheepishly walked in and asked for them. I gave them to her and she walked out, saying profanities. She was back a week later and acted like the whole thing had never happened.