Just One More Thing…

, , , , , | Right | October 19, 2018

(I work in a sandwich shop with an open kitchen. The customers can see every step of their food being made, from being cooked on the grill to being passed through the oven to being wrapped up and handed to them. Most customers choose to trust that we’re capable of doing our jobs, but others like to hang over the counter and pick at every detail.  One night I am working on the grill and a woman comes in to order her sandwich. After having it explained that the sandwich she wants only comes with steak and provolone cheese on it, but she can add any other toppings she’d like, she says that just the steak and cheese will be fine. Immediately after I throw it on the grill, I hear her behind me.)

Customer: “Hey! Can you add some onions to that?”

Me: “Sure.” *adds the onions*

Customer: “How about some peppers and mushrooms, too?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s fine.”

Customer: “Put some mayo on the bread. No, more mayo than that! And put a few more onions in there, I like onions!”

(She continues this until I take her sandwich off the grill — including all of her added toppings — and start to put it through the oven to finish cooking. As I’m placing the cheese on her sandwich…)

Customer: “What kind of cheese is that?”

Me: “Provolone.”

Customer: “What other kinds do you have?”

Me: “We have Swiss or American if you don’t –”

Customer: “Put some cheddar on there.”

Me: “We don’t have cheddar.”

Customer: “Oh. Well then how about pepper jack?”

Me: “Sorry, we only have provolone, Swiss, or American.”

Customer: “Fine, then I guess the provolone will do.”

(I send her sandwich into the oven, and as it’s halfway through, she flags me down again as I start working on the other sandwiches on the grill.)

Customer: “Hey, I changed my mind; I want the American instead.”

Me: “Sorry, your sandwich is already in the oven. I can remake the whole thing if you want.”

Customer: “No, that’s okay. Just take the provolone off after it comes out and put some American on it.”

Me: “We can’t do that. The cheese melts onto the sandwich when it goes through the oven. I’ll have to remake the whole thing.”

Customer: *rolls eyes* “Fine, I guess I’ll just deal with the provolone, then. I wish you’d told me it would be melted.”

(Finally, her sandwich comes out of the oven and is wrapped up by the person on the other end — after a few more last-minute additions to her “meat and cheese only” sandwich, including another request to remove the provolone and add the non-existent cheddar — and we hand her food to her. Before she heads to the door, she asks the manager one more thing:)

Customer: “Are you guys hiring?”

Unfiltered Story #109154

, , | Unfiltered | April 18, 2018

(Note: I work at a local store that just opened a month earlier, but we try to keep customers updated on our hours. A customer and his wife come in at 7:59 a minute before we close.)

Customer: *Notices my co-worker putting away some produce for the night* “Oh, are you about to close?”

Me: “Yes, but it’s no problem, take your time.”

*The customer and his wife take about half an hour to finish getting what they need from the deli of our store, all the while I offer facts and am very polite to the both of them. I then re-wash everthing I used after they leave to ring up what they got. Once I am done I come out of the deli to see one of the customers yelling at my co-worker.*

Customer: “I dropped my salad in the parking lot, you need to put on the lids more tightly! I want a new salad.”

Co-worker: “I would be very happy to get that for you sir…”

Customer: *Before leaving* “You are so impolite, this generation is horrible, you’re just a bunch of punks! I’m never coming back again, you just lost a well paying customer!” *slams door on way out*

My co-worker and I: *Stunned silence*

With Or Without U2

, , , , , | Romantic | February 20, 2018

Husband: “You don’t know who David Bowie is!”

Me: “Yeah, I do! He’s the Goblin King! Admittedly, I’ve never seen that movie.”

Husband: *scoffs*

Me: “He was a singer, too.”

Husband: “Was? He’s still a singer!”

Me: “No… He died.”

Husband: “Oh, yeah… I forgot. He didn’t seem that old. Man, I forgot the lead singer of U2 died.”

Me: “WHAT?!” *hysterical laughter*

Husband: “What?”

Me: “THAT’S BONO!

Fuzzy On The Definition

, , , , , | Romantic | November 13, 2017

(My husband and I are relaxing on a couch, individually looking at our phones. I’m absentmindedly running my hand over my scalp; I’ve recently gotten my hair trimmed almost buzz-cut short.)

Me: “I like it when my head is fuzzy.”

Husband: “Well, I don’t.”

Me: “What? Why?”

Husband: “I mean, I don’t really have a reason for it.” *sees my hurt look* “I mean, it’s not good when you’re having that weird, dizzy feeling, so I’m not sure why you’re so…”

Me: “Wait. Did you think… I meant my hair!”

Husband: “Oh! Be clearer next time!”

Either You’re On Fire Or You’re Fired

, , , , , , | Right | October 2, 2017

(As a 16-year-old with her first job, I am still learning what is expected and accepted in the food service industry. I sell cookies in a mall, and we have two locations: the larger main store and the smaller kiosk, down at the other end.  During my third week on the job, I am walking down to the kiosk with my shift leader when we notice smoke pouring out of a shoe store three stores down from the kiosk. Later, after the alarm goes off:)

Shift Leader: “[My Name], I’m going to get the cash drawer, and then we’re going to leave. They’re evacuating this entire wing of the mall.”

Me: “All right, but there’s a customer here. What should I do about that?”

Shift Leader: “Just get rid of them. We have to go.”

Me: “Hi, sorry to inconvenience you, but we can’t sell cookies at this time. The mall’s on fire.”

Customer: “That’s okay, sweetie; I’m just here for some samples.”

(The customer then proceeded to take about five samples, about half a cookie’s worth, and left. And the best part of the entire experience? Two wings of the mall closed and they didn’t shut the mall down. My other coworker kept screaming, “I don’t wanna work in a burning building!”)