Fuzzy On The Definition

, , , , , | Romantic | November 13, 2017

(My husband and I are relaxing on a couch, individually looking at our phones. I’m absentmindedly running my hand over my scalp; I’ve recently gotten my hair trimmed almost buzz-cut short.)

Me: “I like it when my head is fuzzy.”

Husband: “Well, I don’t.”

Me: “What? Why?”

Husband: “I mean, I don’t really have a reason for it.” *sees my hurt look* “I mean, it’s not good when you’re having that weird, dizzy feeling, so I’m not sure why you’re so…”

Me: “Wait. Did you think… I meant my hair!”

Husband: “Oh! Be clearer next time!”

Either You’re On Fire Or You’re Fired

, , , , , , | Right | October 2, 2017

(As a 16-year-old with her first job, I am still learning what is expected and accepted in the food service industry. I sell cookies in a mall, and we have two locations: the larger main store and the smaller kiosk, down at the other end.  During my third week on the job, I am walking down to the kiosk with my shift leader when we notice smoke pouring out of a shoe store three stores down from the kiosk. Later, after the alarm goes off:)

Shift Leader: “[My Name], I’m going to get the cash drawer, and then we’re going to leave. They’re evacuating this entire wing of the mall.”

Me: “All right, but there’s a customer here. What should I do about that?”

Shift Leader: “Just get rid of them. We have to go.”

Me: “Hi, sorry to inconvenience you, but we can’t sell cookies at this time. The mall’s on fire.”

Customer: “That’s okay, sweetie; I’m just here for some samples.”

(The customer then proceeded to take about five samples, about half a cookie’s worth, and left. And the best part of the entire experience? Two wings of the mall closed and they didn’t shut the mall down. My other coworker kept screaming, “I don’t wanna work in a burning building!”)