Time To Slap Both Your Hands On Your Face And Scream

, , , , | Right | July 6, 2018

(I’m a cashier. I would describe myself as tall and blond, and I have only one hand.)

Customer: “Has anyone ever told you that you look like a celebrity?”

Me: “Once in a while. Which one are you thinking of?”

Customer: “One of the guys from Home Alone. Hmm…”

Me: “Oh, which character?”

Customer: “One of the crooks.”

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Your Humor Is ‘Armless

, , , , , , | Right | March 15, 2018

(I have a handicap; I’m missing about half of my left arm. I’m ALWAYS the first to bring it into a joke. The following takes place as I am giving the customer his fishing license.)

Customer: “I’d like to get the shoreline fishing license.”

Me: “Okay. I need your ID, please.”

Customer: “My wife’s got it, but I’m in the system.”

Me: “Welcome to SkyNet.”

Customer: *laughing, goes and gets his ID* “You a Terminator?”

Me: “Only part time.” *points at left arm* “This is for the different attachments.”

Customer: *laughing hard*

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