Nailed It

| FL, USA | Related | August 29, 2016

(One of my tires has gotten a nail in it so I take my car to our local tire place, with my father following behind in his car in case something happens. He comes with me into the building, and typically whenever we get a nail or screw in our tire, he calls us nail/screw magnets and believes we should be able to see them on the road while we’re driving. For the record, he’s had his fair share of nails and screws in his own tires.)

Tire Guy: “Hey, guys, what’s up?”

Me: “I’ve got a nail in my back right tire. Just need it taken out and a patch.”

Dad: “Yep, she’s just like her mother. They’re a bunch of nail magnets.”

Me: *having heard this a million times* “Well, you know what, Dad? If people weren’t letting their nails and screws get out on the road, we wouldn’t have this problem, now would we?”

Tire Guy: *snickers* “She has a point.”

(Dad hasn’t made that particular quip since.)

That Scam Back-Tired

| USA | Right | February 9, 2016

(The phone rings.)

Me: “[Tire Shop].”

Customer: “I’m looking for a price on 10 ply [Brand] mud tires for my truck.”

Me: “Certainly, let me look at the computer and see what the price is on those… Looks like the price is [price] each.”

Customer: “No, that’s too high. I can get them somewhere else for [impossibly low price below wholesale].”

Me: “Well, in that case I’d get them for that price, because I can’t even get them for that price.”

Customer: *stammers, then is suddenly angry* “Uh… ah… are you calling me a liar?”

Me: “Huh, what?”

Customer: “Are you calling me a liar?”

Me: “Not at all, I’m just saying that wherever you found them for [low price] sounds like a good deal because that’s below what I could possibly get them for. Where did you even find them for that price? I might want to get some at that price, provided they’re not used or stolen.”

Customer: *click*

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Tire Of This Dispute

| Raleigh, NC, USA | Right | March 22, 2013

(I am in the waiting room at a local tire place. A pickup truck squeals into the parking lot. A guy storms out and into the store. He demands a manager so he could dispute his son’s tire bill.)

Manager: “How can I help you, sir?”

Guy: “My son was in here earlier today, and you overcharged him! It shouldn’t have been [first amount]; it should have been [second amount]!”

Manager: “I quoted your son—as I do all customers—both amounts, sir. He chose the [first amount] option.”

Guy: “No, you didn’t! He said that you only gave him the [second amount] option. That’s too much for the menial service you provided.”

Manager: “I wouldn’t have done that, sir. I quoted him both options, and he chose the [second amount] option. He wanted, and I quote, ‘blingy-er rims’.”

(The guy realizes that he hasn’t been overcharged, and stops looming over the manager.)

Guy: “It just isn’t right that my boy has to use up his whole paycheck on tires! He’s a hardworking boy. It’s just isn’t right!”

Manager: “No, sir. It just isn’t right that I should have to dock my own paycheck, just so your son can keep his paycheck intact.”

Me: “That’s what paychecks are for, right? Paying someone for a well-deserved service and paying for necessities such as tires, right?”

(The guy turns beet red and leaves. My manager turns to me.)

Manager: “If he keeps squealing his tires like that, he’ll be back within the next month to get them replaced.”

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Customers Can Be Tiring

, | Portland, OR, USA | Right | June 14, 2012

(As part of our Memorial Day Weekend special, our tire shop is offering a flat rate $10 tire patch for flat tires. A customer calls ahead to inquire, and walks into our store an hour later.)

Customer: “I’m here to get the $10 tire patch.”

(The customer places an extremely old tire on the counter.)

Me: “I apologize, but this tire is beyond patching. You are going to need to purchase a new tire.”

Customer: “To h*** I am! You told me on the phone that you could fix this tire for $10, and that’s exactly what you’re going to do.”

Me: “Ma’am, we can only patch tires with holes or leaks that are in otherwise good condition. This tire has multiple slash marks, and at least five nails that I can count. Not to mention, the rim is corroded and warped.”

Customer: “Bulls***! You’re doing this because I’m a woman. Don’t think I’m smart enough to know my tires? Well, I’m smart enough to know that your commercials says that I can throw this tire through your window if I’m not satisfied!”

(The customer tries—and fails—to throw her tire through our front glass. After a few attempts, she picks up a tire iron and starts breaking any glass she can find, including our front window and door. I manage to wrestle the tire iron away from her. At that moment, a policeman also walks in with his own tires.)

Me: “Ma’am, firstly, that commercial was clearly from [our competitor]. Secondly, there is an armed officer literally right behind you!”

Policeman: *sighs* “Ma’am, you’re under arrest for disorderly conduct and destruction of property.” *to me* “Can I go ahead and get these two tires replaced? I’ll pick them up when I’m done with the paperwork on all of this…”

(The woman is arrested and taken away. Everyone in the store remains silent as we reflect on the damage.)

Manager: “What the f*** just happened?!”

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