It is late, and our store is about to close. The last shoppers are finishing up, and our security guy has made the doors one-way so that they’re exit-only. As a group of shoppers is leaving, a customer outside dashes in while the doors are open.

Security: “Excuse me! Sir! We’re closed!”

Customer: “Oh, I just need a few things! I’ll be really quick!”

Security: “Sir, we closed a few minutes ago. We’re not allowing in any more customers.”

Customer: *Already running into the aisle* “It’s only a few minutes, chill!”

The security guy looks at me and just scowls. As the checkout manager, I feel I am in a position to help him.

Me: “Don’t worry, I got you.”

I go to our checkouts to help close out the lanes and assist with any last-minute issues. A full eleven minutes after this customer ran inside, he casually strolls up to the checkout with a full basket of items.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we’re now closed. Please place your basket to the side and proceed to the exit.”

Customer: “What?! No! I’m here to check out.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the checkouts closed automatically a few minutes ago. You just missed it.”

Customer: *Getting angry* “No! I know you can override that! Check me out!“

Me: “It was only a few minutes, chill!”

The customer immediately recognizes his smug words from earlier and wisely surmises from my raised eyebrow that he isn’t going to win this one. He slams his basket on the ground and storms out, passing the same security guy on the way out.

Security: “Thanks for almost shopping at [Store]!”

A client calls at 8:05 am.

Client: “I emailed you all the stuff I needed done yesterday. Is it done?”

Me: “Hm, I didn’t see any emails before I went to bed. What time did you send the email?”

Client: “Yesterday.”

I find his unopened email, which is time-stamped for today.

Me: “Sir, you sent this at midnight.”

Client: “So, is it done?”

I am a ballet teacher. On this occasion, I am teaching a small group of six- and seven-year-old beginners.

Student #1: “Miss [My Name], why does ballet only count to eight?”

Me: “I’m not entirely sure. I think it’s because music is usually counted in four, and two sets of four is eight, but I don’t know for certain. The problem is that ballet is really old, so we don’t have many records of why things are the way that they are.”

Student #2: “Wait, how old is ballet?”

Me: “The earliest beginnings of ballet are over 600 years old.”

Student #1: “Woah… That’s even older than Disney Plus!”

I worked at a big box bookstore and there was this girl who would run in the store all the time a minute before closing. She would ALWAYS cause us to wait at least fifteen minutes past closing to wait on her.

The last time I saw her do this I pretended not to know she was in the store, proceeded with the usual announcements and closed on time for once.

She runs up to the counter five minutes after closing:

Me: “Sorry, ma’am. We closed five minutes ago.”

Customer: *Suddenly begging and crying.* “Please! It’s just five minutes!”

I might have felt bad but she had kept us late so many times. Thankfully she must have gotten the hint, as she stopped showing up last minute!

I work with tutors. [Client]’s daughter’s course switched from 2:00 pm to 3:00 pm early on in October. It’s a bit inconvenient for [Client], but we only have one teacher for this course who just can’t start any earlier. [Client] was informed in September and given the offer to reschedule to another day at 2:00 pm, leave the contract early without a cancellation fee, or accept the new time. He chose the new time.

Every Thursday morning, I either get a phone call or a message from [Client].

Client: “When does [Child]’s course start?”

Me: “[Child]’s course is every Thursday at 3:00 pm. Our courses take place every week unless it’s a public holiday or [easy-to-remember condition].”

Client: “Okay, we’ll be there.”

It is now the second week of November. Today, again, [Client] tried to drop [Child] off at 2:00 pm. When reminded of the correct time slot, he got angry.

Client: “[Boss] never told us this was permanent! It was supposed a one-time thing because the teacher was sick and the substitute was only available at 3:00!”

This is easily proven false since we send out all changes in writing, even if we’ve spoken on the phone. I tell him the date we wrote to him that we had a substitute for the day and the date when he was informed of the permanent time change — thirteen days apart.

Client: “Well, I still didn’t know this was permanent! It’s inconvenient because if it started at 2:00, I could carpool with [Client #2].”

I listen and express regret about the inconvenience. Then, even though it hurts my soul, I apologise for the mix-up. I’m doing this because this is his sixth year as our client, [Child] is the third child this family has enrolled, the kids are super well-behaved and low-maintenance, and I alone have enrolled four new families due to their word-of-mouth recommendation — a high number as we have really slow turnover.

As soon as I start commiserating, everything is fine. If I skip the part where I show him the evidence, he’ll demand the non-existent 2:00 pm slot, but if I justify myself first and apologise then, it does the trick.

Client: “Oh, so it’s every Thursday at 3:00 pm? It’s inconvenient, but that’s all right, then. [Child]’ll be back at 3:00!”

See you next week, for the same song and dance!