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Past, Present, or Future, She Ain’t Graduating

, , , , , | Right | October 14, 2008

(A mother is worriedly telling me her daughter wants to graduate, but may be past the deadline to apply to do so.)

Mom: “She was planning to graduate early, instead of in the Spring! Now you’re telling me she can’t do that?”

Me: “Well, it’s October already, and there is a lot of preparation involved. She wanted to graduate in January ’09 instead of May?”

Mom: “No, she wants to graduate January ’08!”

Me: “… That’s in the past, ma’am.”

Mom: “Oh, fine! Well, whatever technical time you go by!”

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Cheapskates: FAIL

, , , , , | Right | September 20, 2008

Customer: “Hey, can I get these rolls at a discount?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, sir; it’s only six. We don’t discount the bags until right before close.”

Customer: “Well, the girl last night let me do it!”

Me: “Sir, I was working last night, and no, I did not.”

Customer: “All right, it was the night before! That girl!”

Me: “Richard?”

Customer: *slinks away*

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Ask A Stupid Question, Part 4

, , , , , | Right | September 19, 2008

Customer: “What time do you guys close?”

Me: “Nine.”

Customer: “… o’clock?”

Me: “No… feet. Nine feet.”


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Decision Making Make Oggwina Confused

, , , | Right | September 15, 2008

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to book in for my photo session.”

Me: “Great, what kind of date were you looking for?”

Customer: “June.”

Me: “Okay, we only book up to two weeks in advance but I can put something on hold for you. What kind of day and time were you looking for?”

Customer: “June, maybe a weekend.”

Me: “Okay, just pick a time and date and I can get that sorted for you.”

Customer: “I find this very unprofessional!”

Me: “…why?”

Customer: “You should show me what dates you have free!”

Me: “Every date and time in June; no one else is booked in yet.”

Customer: *glares at me*

Me: “Do you want to have a look at the diary?”

Customer: “Yes, I think I’d better.”

(I bring her into the office and show her the screen with our June diary on. It is COMPLETELY blank.)

Customer: “So what date can I have?”

Me: “What date do you want?”

(This goes on and on until I finally give her a random date and time.)

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Amen

, , , | Right | September 13, 2008

(A customer runs in two minutes to closing time.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we’re closing soon.”

Customer: “What do you mean, you’re closing? But I haven’t had time to get what I want!”

Me: “We’re open again tomorrow, 9 til 9.”

Customer: “You should stay open until 10. People need to do their shopping, you know.”

Me: “Sir, people like you are the reason that people like me don’t have lives.”

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